dull...haha!

stupid diarrhea..

haiz...

been sitting in the toilet in LC for 10 min..

ha!

searching info now, bout utar... hopefully i get to help Rae la... haha!

i feel lazy... really lazy.. i hope i can avoid the meeting later....

i wish i can be absent...
cuz i wanna sleep...

and stupid me.. i overslept today. haha! screw me!

k la, wanna keep searching bout ktar d...

blog and check my mails after 4 weeks la!!!

tk care! and wish me luck!!!

cant wait for the week i come back!!! why?
julene said she wants to bring me to nice asam laksa... haha!!!!!

dumbo jumbo... dumb onion.

I still feel like a dumb onion. i dunno why.

Ohaiyo! it's a great morning and a brand new start of a day!!
dumb onion is going off to enjoy herself again!!!

haha...

will be doing the same old thing that i usually do on saturdays.. what's that?
meet the aunties, do some charity, send some stocks...
i hope i contribute a bit by buying her the neurogain PB???
hehe...
they are a bunch of cute aunties... haha!

dumb onion had a chat with Ka-Mun... about a point of view from his in Chemical Engineering. i was sort of like 'awaken' by him. He made me realized that there are more that value most other than money. and he told me about what's all about Chem En when u work because of the passion towards leading a better human life and trying to improve things, quality and teach the young generations to be better.
wow....
he related it to me with my job scope... and he really opened up my eyes. he showed me the difference between pharm in Msia and Nz. I was amazed by the true example he gave me, and it will never ever happen in Msia!!! I know!!! NEVER!

maybe because we are still developing and the THING always come first, while NZ is a developed country and they are fighting for the best healthcare SERVICE. IT makes me think of Inverse CAre Law.. where the availability of healthcare services are inversely proportional to the needs of the society. This law applies to the entire world, no matter u are developed, developing or undeveloped country... it applies.

Dumb onion now have to go on. new plans are in the deep core of the head. NOTE, they are just in my head, and i hvn put them up on 'proposals' yet. haha! anyway, will keep it till my finals over.
I've always been saying, time flies. and it really does...
for this dumb onion, everything comes and flies quickly, just like debris being wiped off from a transparent table. For once, u see it, for once, u dont. after some time, u'll see it again.
is that the way a dumb onion should be?
dumb onion is having a viral attack. wondering when will it cure? when will it go away... as the dumb onion has more important things to face next week.

Free your mind... Free from this crazy life.....

ok, i'm just trying to be a psycho. :-)

Last week was total disaster to me... why? i suddenly received a bomb from my bro... and it was a happy bomb. guess i'll call it as beautiful disaster?? hehe...
it was the same day. why on earth it has to be on the same day? ha~!

bought POPPE BEARS... gosh, they're new! and they're cute!! :-) mine was simple and nice, of course, black has always been my symbol colour. why? I'm always the black shit, oops.. sheep. hehe..
i am keen for a change. a change for anything. a change that will cause more beautiful disaster to me... anyway, i cant do it if i dont hv the guts.......
well, leave it then.

maybe i should tk up Japanese language or even korean. anyway, korean will be easier as i know, Rose will be there to help me.. gosh! she's good in korean!
I think i will want to tk up Japanese classes. why? so that i get more job opportunities! hehe...'

Things will not be the same anymore, as the world is changing, Malaysia is changing, people are changing..
like ppl always said, u cant really predict the whether as it is always changing. u cant expect sunny day forever, dont u?
when the wind of change comes, it will be for the good purpose.

dumb onion will still be the dumb onion. whoever knows dumb onion can be intelligent? i doubt.

dumb onion's skin is degrading. DEgrading for good. hehe....


i wonder whether i hv time to hang out with her ar? i mean baby Rachel. why? cuz they have a cousin's dinner tonite. well, i'm attending a party tonite. see?
why is it so hard to see the ppl u wanna see?
wahahaha!!! anyway,i've forgotten one important thing,....it is always happening to me... haha!!


(" singing "onion" by aska yang..... again.") i love this song!!!!! haha! it will not be in my phone, i guess.. haha!

once and for all... ciao.

once and for all!! haha!!
good for me.
guess i'll be studying at home these few days... still wondering.......
whether i should go out for another movie ar???? haha!!!!

see first la...hehe.

anyway, Correen asked me out this sunday wor....
of course, i din see her for ages d!!! miss her!! miss her hugs!!!
yeah... this girl always hug me when she sees me.. dunno why? maybe i'm soft enough gua... haha!
well, i guess i will wanna meet her. haha!

just get to be back online... so, i wont be online for the next 3 weeks.. will be lost from this world.. like i always do. haha@

just came back from LC, well. ok la... had a great chat. good laugh.. sampat talks.. with stupid attitude.. hehe. as ever!

i think normal ppl will understand the japanese blog le... if dont, then nvm.. cuz the words and sentence i know are limited. it's ok that i understand myself only.. haha!
fine, just leave it. it has no special meaning anyhow!

Read that Rae is going to kuantan this sunday... wondering what time she leaves? will i be able to at least have bfast with her before she leaves? i dont ask for more... i only want bfast... haha!!! hope i can la.. ha! my butt still remembers the spank she gave just now... haha!! pain la! of course!! A cat can go faint with the spank!! hahahaaha!

till now, i couldnt find the courage to switch on DT's cd... why? i just couldnt find the strength to reach it.. though his songs are brilliant! hehe... well, i guess i only hv the courage to listen it live, sang by ppl in ya tao yuan.. haha! stupid me....
Sometimes i really wish that i am retarded. anyhow, haha.. i am not!

no la, don think i wanna be so retarded as Julene said she wants me to be Rachel's godmother.. haha!! i dunno whether i can afford to do it onot... ha! big responsibility ler!!! hehe..
well, i love the little angel ler.. but i dont hv time to spend with her... haha!
maybe i'll visit her 2mr.. but i dunno what time la.. ha!@ depends on her availability la.. haha!

I think i'm sick. yah, i'm sick. i think i'm better off alone, so that it wont spread to others.. ha! this virus is stubborn, it wont leave unless i kill it! haiz... die la, sick again...

k la, dont wanna blog d.

ciao!


bye bye....

Sayonara... Kamuri.

Gomenei, gomenei....nandei?
Watashiwa gomenei...
dai jo-bu, watashiwa shin-ji-ru..
anata ko-ai desu...
oma-i choto-i anosh-te.
demo, anosh-te shiteru, ta-shiteru...
sinemasei... watashiwa choto-ja..
shinpa-i, watashiwa ogenki-des! :-)
shinpa-i, watashiwa osama-ta..
sorewa, anata-wa ogenki-des.
Shinpa-i, watashiwa nakono yameta.
Ja!
watashiwa hon-to-ni dai jo-bu deska!
watashiwa, anata-to omei moto..
Aishite-tawa.... omei-ja, hon-ki-dek..
watashiwa suki-dayo.. hon-ki-dek.
Tsank kyu... arigatou gozaimas-ta.
Ja!
Kamuri choto-i..]
Shite-iji-mast. :-)

funny and ugly, nice photos...

some of the pictures that make me smile, and laugh like siao.


the first :

uglynya...... gosh, it doesnt look like the stupiak girl at all!!! what attracts me the most? the bottle between her legs!!!!!!!! haha!!!!

haiz.... uglynya..... haha!!!

the second :

Another photo which makes me laugh... uglynya.... i've uploaded this pic in facebook. just wanna share, can u imagine a caliber lady who wears formally everyday feeding her baby? aunty betul!!! haha... that's a life of a mother a.k.a. pharmacist.

She doesnt look like a pro like this... k!!! haha!!

the third :

i think this is better than the one in my phone.... haha!!!! yup.. i was down when i created this.. but after i've done it, cheers! i was in a relief. hehe.... bck to happy mood again. :-) cuz u'll be happy to see a pig smiling.. haha!

the fourth :

this is one of my creations. my little ones... haha!! She's just so adorable!!!! haha!!!

ok, that's all for today. upload more soon!!! haha!!

feedback to Catherine's blog. :-)

aiyo... just read catherine's post in friendster.. she wrote in chinese.. haha!! ok, i'm not good in reading chinese.. but it ws short, i can still understand.

She's my member, why? we went tkd together.. and she really appreciate our time training together. she's always my partner, as there are only 2 2nd dan girl in my class. and i am always the tai ka chea after Tiong Leong.

My members, they are great. and my juniors, of course. Catherine, she's older than me. but she always admire me that i'm more mature in thinking. die la... i'm really qualified as a mother... i dont want!!!!!!! sob sob...

about her, we share the same personality, what? our passion towards TKD. and Correen, the girl who landed me bombs every week till getting used to it d. i've tried nuclear bombs, bird's bombs... and all sort of bombs... she's always making empty promisses to us.. haha!!! she's one of the person i care too.
i understand that she's busy, she's teaching yoga now, and work at the same time. so.. i understand if she cant find time to train with us, once again.
just miss her la, cuz it's been almost 1 year i didn see her. but we still keep in touch through phone calls.

She's younger than me, but she thinks very far. She's studying trad. medicine. part time la.. she's one of the nicest person... and she's my friend! very good friend.

CAtherine wrote in her blog... she really enjoys coming out with us, me and my bro, of course, plus Chee Keat. we all hv topics to chat. anything, we will also chat.

believe it or not.. i've leant TKD for..almost 10 years. and i've known Cat for almost 4 to 5 years. and i've known Chee Keat since i start learning.

and my juniors, some of them, i trained them up to become a black belt.

basically, i've seen their growing process. from a kid, to a teenager.

and it really feels great to hv ur student passed as a black belt! i'm damn proud!!!

i hv heavy responsibility to train tem up and mould them into a good person, who has the spirit to master the skill.
I'm still learning too.
i keep upgrading myself to become a better person, of course, a better instructor.

I will become a pharmacist.. but being a part time instructor is one of the things i wanna achieve in my life.
i wanna keep teaching TKD, as TKD is the art that builts the toughness in me, and of course the calmness in attempting difficulties.

i wont stop myself from upgrading myself. i'll sit for my 3rd dan test next year. and go for a higher level.
and get my instructor license, start a premise to teach. of course, with my brother.


i cant deny that i've learnt many things from my master. he taught me many things in life. he taught me how to see things differently, he taught me how to manage situation. he taught me how to guide, how to coach. he gave me chances of becoming who i ought to be. he taught me lots of value of life. material arent the important thing. the most important is the attitude which gain trust from other ppl.
commitment to do something... once u've decided to do something, u hv to do it properly. try to make it perfect. if not, dont ever touch it.

He gave me a chance to organise a competition, and i've done it. perectly. if i were given a chance again, i will do better, as we have more referees now. haha...
i'm one of them too!

Learning is about teamwork. as i said, human cant really survive alone in this world, we need to work together to survive.
life is like a normal graph, the extremes wont survive, only the optimum which best adapted to the environment can survive.
it's proven by the law of Charles Darwin. hehe.

Catherine, she's a good friend. i think i've taught her many things though... haha!! anyway, i know that our passion will keep burning, till the very end of time.

thank god, we met becasue of our interest. and our passion.

onion-kuen... kuen-onion...

fyuh!!! I'm stressed!!! and boring!!!!

cant live without blogging man!!!! haha!!!

wil be back on Friday morning, i guess... hehe. anyway, i may change my plan.

i've been studying, and singing... only eat 2 meals per day. why? cant eat, but can sleep.. haha!! no la, just that dont feel like eating, so, dont eat lo. die, wil get smack from my mum if she knew this. haha!

die la.... haha!!

i think i'm.....

I feel like an onion. I guess aska yang’s "Yang Chong" really hits my feeling now. I’m always the taste inducer. No one ever peels me off and see what’s in me.(past) Haha... a good thing though.


That’s why i’m thicker and thicker now. And i doubt that it will become thicker if no one peels me off again. I’m kinda hard to be peeled. But it’s possible to peel me off. Haha!! depends on ur technique la. I can be peeled, no worry. U just need to be sharp enough to locate which place is the easiest to peel. Like me, if u’ve peeled the wrong spot, ok, it might look awkward, but i still hv a lot of layers yet to be peeled. Just like onion, if the wrong layers are peeled, nothing will happen. U can still peel and get the right layers again. I guess, that’s the best to describe me.


In other words of that, i don’t mind ppl turned me down, i don’t mind ppl hit me out, i don’t mind ppl kicked me off.. (haiz, always go attacked during tkd..)haha! I’m still having more layers to be peeled. So, not to worry bout hurting me. Hehe..
Remembered that when i first being smacked by a girl on my head. I did not cry at all, i tried to be calm and find chance to hit her again. Yes, i manage to hit her at her chin. Haha! devil me. This only occurs during tournament la. I wont do it in my real life.
When ppl hit me, i wont hit them back anymore. I try to be more careful about the layers of mine, tht’s all.


Ppl said they don’t know me. I’m quite hard to be peeled, so u can imagine how many times i’ve been hit by ppl? That’s why my layers are thick now. And even i try to degrade my layers so that ppl can peel it easily, it is still hard to be peeled. Maybe my degradation technique is not right.
thick layers formed each and everytime i'm being smacked., so, can u imagine how many times i’ve been smacked by ppl?

From all those hitting and smacking, i became more careful of my own layers, try to protect it so that when i get hit again, i can at least guarantee that i wont get hurt easily. That’s why, sometimes i’m used to getting smacked and hit by ppl.


I’m not saying that it’s not my fault for being this way, but i just cant help. Cuz it’s the norm of creatures to protect themselves from being hit regularly. Right? Don’t tell me u like being hit by ppl.. unless u’re psycho.haha!!!
it's not others fault when they dunno me, cuz i think it comes from me.

I’m scared that i’ll go to the extend where i hv no more feelings when ppl smashed me. But now, i’m only having thick layers. I still hv feelings. Just that , the layers protect my feelings more when i’m being smacked by ppl.


Thick thick layers protecting my fragile heart lo.. haha!!


Sometimes it’s not because i don’t wanna talk about my past, but let me ask u, do u wanna talk about the past where u wanted to forget it so much?


I think my past has built me. I’m very calm, (i admit that. Haha), i can think rationally, i wont think of commiting suicide, i wont think of doing things that hurt ppl around me. As i said, i rather sacrifice to make ppl happy. These happens because of my past. I dunno why, i always give ppl my best. Why i realized this? There’s one incident. Someone borrowed pen from me, one was a new pen, one was running out of ink, still can write, but u can see that the ink almost finished when u write. Know what? I borrowed the person the new pen, i rather use the old one.


There are many cases, where when i borrow pen from ppl, they always give me the worn out one.deep in my heart, i dun wan ppl to feel what i felt to get the worn out pen rather than getting the new pen, which has ink, so i always give ppl the best. Especially to those that i care and love.


Tis is only the pen example... (small case nia) cuz there are more things that had happened to me where it involves my dignity.and more...


All i can say that, the character that i am having now, i think i built it by hard. If i really love someone, i really give them the best. Even my friends. Cuz by seeing them laugh and smile, it really makes me happy too.


Just like the person, the person actually built his happiness on my pain, ok, i felt suffocated that time, but now... i still want the best for the person even though we’re not as the same as before now. I’m getting over it.


Shitty rite? Having this kind of character? Haha... i oso dun wan de le. But what to do? It’s in my blood.... and i don’t plan to change anything la. I’ll just try to degrade my thick skin again. Maybe i’ll try other techniques. i think i’m ready...

yep, Kuen-onion, kuen-onion. it looks match though. i really feel like i'm an onion when i listen to the song... haiz.. kuen ar kuen... why do u hv so much of layers le?

hahaha..... sometimes, the layers just grow without me knowing it.

that's why i'm used to get hit... and try to find reason to make everything feels right. haiz... it makes me think of Mun. cuz he's always doing that. till the extend that he cant find any reason anymore to sustain everything... Mun..!!!! we're on the same boat!! but i still hv plenty of reasons la.. haha!!!

Anyway, i dont dare to think of anything now. i just wanna be happy, live my day to the fullest, eat the things i crave for.. gosh, can u believe it, i'm actually craving for shabu-shabu now.... haha!! erm.... haha!! maybe i'll drag the stupiak girl there.. haha!!! as i'm very free this saturday!!!! why? no tkd training!!! yes!! means movies are possible, sleeps are possible!!

shabu-shabu.... mutton.... shabu-shabu... mutton....

my saliva glands... gosh!! it's over functioning!!! feel watery now!! haha!!!

Bro is working nite shift this friday... wanna fetch him to work.. but i'm scared that when i wait for him, DT songs appear again. haha!!!! maybe i'll shut my ears down la.. ehe..
see first la, who knows i dont wanna fetch him? but i wish i could go for movie.... damn, dunno what movie to watch..
ya lo hor, maybe i dont crave for movie... but i'll go to 'ya tao yuan" again le? hahaha!! who knows???

thought of the stupid " Gone baby Gone". it sucks. pay for Rm 10 to sleep in Eskimo!!! haha!! it was so cold!!!! till the extend tht i hug my bro's arm tight and sleep!!! damn, stupid movie..

feel like watching deadly ghost.. haha!

there are so many things i wanna do... but mostly after my finals.

but.... i wont sacrifice my meals because of my exams. kekekekeke........

Kuen really hope the layers will be degraded. haiz.... ok, i'll try, i will really try. cuz i know i cannot be like this... forever. :-)

i'm quite happy today. well, ok la, just wish that everything goes fine, and hope that i'll have the courage to face what is coming towards me.
i either stand, or fall... and i'll fall terribly..

hehe... anyway, i'll try to stand till the very last minute. i'll keep holding on.

cheers.!! again, feel like eating chou tou fu now.... hahahahaah!!!!!

and cheese cake.... hope can eat it at least once a week in the future la, know that it is fattening, but i just love cheese cakes! will try to get my time to bake the cheese cake i like this coming weekend!!
dense cheese cakes, chocolate cheese cake, cheese tart... yummy.....
i only know how to bake cheese digestive biscuits. haha!

ok, wont be online.... i guess... till this friday.. sob... i hope my lappy wont burst because i wrote everything there. i hope my phone wont 'kong' cuz hehe.... everything's there lo. it's either there or... in the notes.haha!!

still thinking that i should've followed the things i wrote in the 'forever unsent items.." haha.. anyway, there's no turning back. what's passed is past. so, look forward, improve, improvise, be a better person.

Future....i'll reach it though it's million miles away.
and i'll still keep u safe.

erm.... whole blog is replying ur blog... haha!

well, ALOHA!! to readers... though it's only... a few.. can be counted by 2 fingers. haha!

just came back from the grading test. well, GOSH!!! I cant believe that i am so calm till the extend of conducting the toughest exam.. which is to conduct the black belts grading.. haha! I'm proud of myself!! really!!! :-) it's my first time, got recognised as a 2nd dan black belt..... and did quite well in conducting the test, at least i was not screwed by the Examiner.. haha! Damn me if i got screwed!
I'm really happy to see all of my members to day... from other schools... and had great talks with my fellow members!! :-) they are just.....

why? partly because i've known them since i was young... very young. haha!

anyway, i enjoyed it!

I feel.... no, i should say, i can feel how Rae felt when she wrote her blog on Saturday nite. I'm sorry if i've made her think sooooooooooo much.
She's kinda true that no one really has known about me well. I dunno why... I'm trying hard now to open up. so,haha.. just gimme some time,k? I'm a slow learner. really...

and one thing, i dunno why i have the ability to know a person well. me? I can talk what u talk, i can crap what u crap, i can talk anything.. just anything... i dunno why am i having this kind of ability. that's why, I can knwo a person well just by talking.
I hv the ability to sort of like " dive " into ppl's thinking... "dive" to be them... and feel how they feel.

actually, the "awkward" part Rae is feeling... i've already know that she feels not right. really. just that.. it's kinda like not right to say it out.. it feels even more awkward if u say it out. hehe.. that's what i think.

Some say i am complicated. I admit that i cant be penetrated easily.. really.

Rae said if she wanted to choose between VY and ME, she cant choose either. well, is it a good thing? haha... it reflects the importancy of me to her? well, maybe.. I wanted her to know, dont choose, as she's already hv both. so, not to worry about the choosing part. I dont want her to choose also. why? cuz a person always have a different way of treating others. so, dont choose. especially when it's me and VY. cuz we are two different ppl, with different character, with different speciality.. Hey you, dont make urself trouble by choosing. I am me, always.

About the issue that i hate coming back on weekdays is.. know why? weekdays arent mine, they are not my days. and i know i hv to at least leave something.. no.no, no. make it this way. Me and VY are different to Rae. the feeling of me and vy is totally different. so, i understand that vy can only come out after 11pm. so, like that lo. :-) nothing de la..
Actually, the things that Rae is thinking... she's indirectly penetrating into my mind. cuz the things that she thinks.. is somehow almost 80% of what i think.haha.. how true is it? i know la...

The cheese cake division..
it's other thing... but it somehow become my case... dunno why... lol!! haha!
ok la, i know that cheese cake cant be divided equally. that's why, sometimes chocolate cheese is better, why? it is still cheese cake. haha@@!! like i said, feel so kolian, so better bake a new cheese cake lo... (know that u wont understand this sentence, so just leave it.. cuz i dont understand too.. haha!)

Let me reveal what Julene told me straight after Rae left.. cuz i dont want the stupiak girl to keep thinking to the untrue stuff. wait... let me think ar... cuz i dont really really remember.. ok.. it starts with the face. haha... after she left, Julene asked :" who she went with ar? " i said :" the guy lor... that..." before i go on, Jerry said :" the guy that came during CNY la... rite?" i said :" yup." Julene said:" why u like tak mau her to go one le?" I said :" har? since when? got meh? no ar... hehe..." then the bad jerry said in Hokkien : " why she can bang on this kind of ta po ar?" haha!! i said:" jor... what this kind of ta po? maybe fate la... ha!"

then we continued with our political talk and the mango puding.. for about 20 minutes.

that's all lo.. then i chao to wait for my bro... and DT thingy happens, which i state in the previous blog.

one thing i really wanna say, dont ever feel sorry for going out with me. I pay for everything because i know u're in money crisis. and... it's my character le... I dont really let ppl pay when i go out... even though with guys.
and u're the one who paid the most for me, believe it or not. though the number is less.. but it's true. so, u can imagine la... partly because of the way i'm being brought up. The "paying" for everything thingy.. actually comes from my parents. My parents are very generous and i'm kinda like inherit this character from them. so, i dont think it's my fault la... haha!!

Dont feel wrong for being close to me. why? it's not wrong le...

What u are to me.. ?? as i said, i dont wanna categorize it.. cuz i dont exactly know the distinct word to rate what u are to me. Something special? i would say? U are someone special, someone really true, and someone i sayang like... (this is the hardest part).. (ok, mind u!! i'm not a lesbian though i said everyone is bi).. like... someone more than friends, and we hv no blood relationship. so, i dont wanna categorize lo, cuz i dunno how le... as long as i know, and as long as u know.. haiz, then ok la. haha! our relationship is really special, dont u think so? (okok... u may say no.. but i do think so..)haha!! muka temboknya..

Like i said in my previous blog, i always have the ability to make ppl feel guilty.. i'm sure i did that to u, sorry le... really sorry. I dunno why am i having this kind of ability again.. but.. i really dunno why.
but dont u worry, i tear after hearing the DT songs is not because of u la.. :-)


" i planned to visit Kuen when she's having her exams. cause i know that she will definately pressure herself till the extend that she will get gila eventually. hahhaa. i wish Vy will fetch me there. =) even if i go, it'll definately be wednesday. cause wednesday is my only OFF day. * sob sob * and, i'm not done with the scarf i planned to give to Kuen during her birthday le... so sad. i've spent months on that but i'm not done with that yet. * screw me * cause i've re-do it for three or four times already as i've missed some knits while doing it. stupid me huh? haiz."

I'm really touched by this... haha!! thanks ya....love ya so much!

but i dont hope that u'll treat me bad like u've done to wei long and kelvin lor.... :-( hehe... so, dont ever do that le... hahahaah!!

Sob sob... Kuen will not be able to online often next week... asi'll be staying at home studying... but i think i'll go to cafe to online la... cant live without blogging.. haha!

I dont wanna be your mother le.. cant i choose to be something else ar?? i know i'm old in thinking... but... sob... mother, too old d la..... sob sob...

I am already happy that i still can see u at least.... well, not everyday, but it's enough d le. That's why, weekdays arent mine. and i wont make it mine. hehe..

Dont feel sakit hati lo.. why? U can always ask me out de la.. just that i think i'm the one always asking u out.. so, sometimes feel paise... really... and i like to go out.... only at nite.. mostly la. but not good to go out every nite also...

that's the reason why i cant imagine what will happen in the next 2 months... haha! so, dont imagine lo.. hehe.. go with the flow la.

Thanks for having the heart to visit me during my exams.... really touched also. make sure u buy chao tofu before u come!! haha!!!!

Stupiak girl, dont worry too much, k>? as i wont change la.. i am still me. I hate to repeat this, cuz it makes me feel like a mother... when u hv no place to go, no place to hang on, everyone abandone u.. my open arms will be the safest thing u've ever had. I can guarantee that. :-)

Fyuh... feel so comfortable to write this out. I know I'm kinda complicated.. I know i'm that kind of moody person. but mind me, u'll know me thoroughly, one day.. cuz i wanted to open up myself to u... badly. (again, i'm not a les!) I sayang u, but not that kind of "kiss-kiss" relationship le... sweat! (dont make me think of the word of what u are to me, cuz my english not so good le...)

k la.. next week, i wont be in klang. u can always sms me when u're free.. or feel like talking...(cuz u dont feel like talking today.. so, nvm lo...:-)) or u wanna share. I will sure layan u de. hehe...
I really pray the best to u.
and of course to u and vy too.

summary: U own both. I am yours, whenever u want me...haha! U tk care... I really appreciate the time meeting u, why? cuz i know.. ok... well, i'm not sure, so, i'll just shut. live ur day to the fullest..

Lov ya!
Muacks!

my life path number

Your Life Path Number is 2
Your Life Path Number represents the path you should take through life and the talents and skills you have to make your journey a rewarding one.

Having a Life Path Number of 2 means you always strive for peace and balance in your life. You are a patient person with the ability to provide comfort to those around you. You enjoy the security and comfort that comes with your balanced lifestyle and you seek beauty in your surroundings.

Positive Traits Cooperative, Sensitive, Balanced, Responsible, Loving, Patient, Modest, Supportive

Negative Traits Rude, Weak-willed, Finicky, Shy, Fearful, Sly

Above is my prediction just with my birthdate. is it correct? i think it's true... except there's some words that i dont really understand. Other than that, it's true..
haha!!!
It's from Facebook! :-)

today, today, today...

went out with Rae this whole morning... i call it a day.. as i suddenly received a sentence from her.. :" the day belongs to u.." mind that, only day, not nite... haha!! so?

anything la... I dunno how i feel. but i'm happy with her.. like i said, i wont disown her... unless she disown me one day... :) haha...

She changed her hairstyle today.. not really changed, but it's shorter. well, she cut it twice!!! she's one crazy girl.... crazy.... anyway, i like it!

Sadly... hehe.. suddenly, she told me that.... the photo that i made.. haiz, VY took it from her and make it as his own display... i was like...!!! huh??!@!!susah hatinya....haha.. thought i'm the only one having it.. ha!! maybe i'll do another one.. :-)!! this time, it'll be only in my PC!!!! hehehehehehe(devil smile...)haha!! it depends la..
actually... i don mind la.... ppl said, good thing has to be shared... but.... hehe watever..

depends la.. cuz i think i'll do it.. why? my stress level in the coming week will be high.. so basically, i'll do it to release my stress.

sometimes i really hate myself for doing the things and feeling the feelings in me now. I hate it! why am i so fragile? why am i being this way? cuz i realized that i tear easily these days.. damn me! dunno what happen to me.
Like i said, the song from David Tao.. i hate it lo.. really get bump with DT's songs these few days.. and his songs... haiz.. made me flashed back on unwanted things... same goes to yesterday.. in the car.. again,I was waiting for my bro after i left Julene's home. i wind down the window to get some fresh air... again,some restaurant was playing his songs... damn! yeah.. i was...almost tear again.. especially when the song "hei se liu ting' played.. sakit hati ku when i listen to the song.. cuz it hits my feeling that time! exactly~!!! I cant sing together, so.. i just closed my eyes and listen to the lyrics.. again. It hits me accurately and precisely! DARN!

see?

I really hate feeling this way...

I understand that it's hard to divide the cheese cake.. kolian my friend... haiz.. wish cheese cake luck la.. cuz it's really different to melt in different mouth. haha... as an observer, i really dunno what to do..


It's Saturday 2mr... and... haiz..

I dont think i like coming back during weekdays.. as i said, weekdays are not my lucky day!haha!! it arent mine too... :-)
well, will get used to it one day.. or maybe i'll love it someday???hehe...anyway, i'll still hv to come back during sem break, rite? well, that time... haiz, i dont dare to think also.. cuz it's not worth to think of things that dont guarantee will happen. it'll make u suffer more. so, just leave it!

Got many phone calls today.. dunno why.. out of the sudden.. so many ppl called me. haiz... haha! weird day though!

I'm really stupid in managing... maybe like i said, i am making things complicated.. and ppl are trying to make it simple for me.
well, things arent as simple as what u think. I wish it is as simple as 1+1.

"sad,sad go away, dont come again another day, little kuen really wants to play..."
what will happen after 2 months....? changes? statics?

whatever it is.. i am still me. I'll still as what i am now. i guess... that's the thing i can guarantee... at least.
dont worry bout the change in me.. as i'll still be me. For sure.
muacks!

nite? hate it...love it too..

this was written yesterday nite... or today morning... to be exact, it's 3.30 morning..

went supper with bro last nite.. before that, i went to julene’s house with Rae..this

Haiz.. we had a good time actually.. haha.. but.. something happened? Yep.. when i look back my ‘forever unsent msg..” it sort of like.. ok.. it came true..

Well, it’s all expected and i wouldn’t believe that it came true. haha@@! Intuition? No.. as i said, weekdays is not a good day for me.

What kind of face i gave? I wish i had mirror THAT Time,, cuz i dunno what kind of face is that. But it’s a face of mine.. nothing bad la, just that.. i hate myself for not following it.. i mean the unsent msg. Haha.. anyway, i’m ok with it, cuz it’s expected.

Am i mad? To be honest.. nothing. No, no mad, no hate, no nothing. And what julene said is definitely not true... straight after Rae left. Maybe i should change my facial expression a bit.. from something become nothing.. ehhe.. but impossible la.. even plastic surgery oso cant help! Haha!

I really hate this.. everytime when i wait for my bro, i sure get to listen to David Tao’s song. Haiz... his songs are brilliant.. just that a stupid listener like me shouldn’t be listening to his great songs. I hv his whole album...but none of them are in my pc or phone. So when i listened to the songs while i was waiting, haiz.. really wanna shut myself down. It really reminds me of the feeling again.. especially the song..’blACK tangerin’. I love that song.. hate it at the same time. Cuz when violent occurs, what u can get from the lyrics is exactly how i feel. EXaACTLY>>>!!!

Weird ar? I am that weird. That songs really reminds me of a lot of unwanted memories.. which i wish i could erase it forever.

Anyway, i’ve watched Ah Long Pte.Ltd yesterday.. had a great laugh with my family!!! J I don’t really mind watching the movie again le.. haha!!! Laughter is the best medicine mar...

I’m very impressed yesterday nite that the tings that i wrote actually occurs.. i think that’s the expression i hv last nite. Julene was totally wrong and i proved her that. Hehe.. sorry....

Stupid me...

Bro actually pointed out one thing for me. I’ve told him about my fear and a lot of what ifs’ .. i asked him.. what if i graduate after 5 years instead of 4 years? He said... “is there any difference? When u’re 56 yrs old and ppl asked u when did u graduate.. either answer 22 or 24 would not make any difference. So, it’s no difference for me.. either u graduate 24 yrs old or 25 yrs old.” See? My bro... he’s far more mature than i thought.

I asked him :” hv u seen any brothers and sisters whose their relationship is like us ar?” he think very long and said :” yah or... no wor... very very less..” basically, i made him laugh all nite by creating jokes... haha!! he’s a good listener.

I asked him a stupid question... “ do u think we’ll still be like this when we really grow up? When u hv ur own career and ur own family? Can we go out again? Or maybe u’ve married and u wanna migrate, will we go out for mamak and yum cha like this? If u start studying, we hardly have time.. if u migrate, we only meet once a year or even none a year.” He said: “ don’t worry la, if i start studying, i’ll still come back.. if i migrate, well.. at least we still meet once a year.. haha!! “ we went home at 3.15 am, after watching a free movie.. nice movie!! It feels like cinema.. cuz all of us scream and laugh together.. haha! ‘

Bro told me many things that he hvn told or he had not been given a chance to talk.. i really enjoy talking to him. Cuz his sudden change... really made me realize that he has grown...

I told him that sometimes i couldn’t believe that i hv a bro who is 20 years old and is entering Uni soon... see? Even Rae oso going to start coll d... really fast. Then he said :” ya lo...(smile).. though grandma cant really see us entering uni.. but at least she knows we are entering uni when she left for good.. rite? We were prre-U student le!!!” haha...

Overall.. it’s not a bad night though... haha!!!

And Rae... she said about the influencing the great talk thingy... which i don’t think it’s true lo.. i’m really ok with it.. sorry if my face is ugly la.. haha!! but, i really hv nothing ler... just realized something... which is how mummy feels.. like i mentioned before in previous blog. Like i’ve told her, i wont disown her la.. unless she disown me la... wahahahahaha!!!! Which i don’t think it’s possible now.. i don’t think she needs to feel sorry also le.. she’d done nothing wrong, why feel sorry le? Is it because she dump me alone there? I don’t really mind la... as long as she’s happy, then ok d..Haiz.... even though she throw me into the dead sea or sink me in the mediteranean sea, i’ll still be there when she needs my help. See la.. who ask me to sayang her so much again???? Huh????

I dun wan a barrier to exist.... maybe i’m the one creating it, but i’m breaking it now. For sure, i don’t want a barrier...

I think i’ve learnt this from MuN.. he’s a great guy... the only guy who can tolerate everything.. EVERYTHING!!! U cant believe it... even me!! I’m really surprised by the way he thinks... as he always called me and sms me from NZ. Wow... i’m influenced by him... thoroughly. I guess ppl like us who get and learn things by hard wouldn’t mind about those small small things around us. Cuz we appreciate on what ppl give... we love other ppl and family more than ourselves. Not that we don’t love ourselves, just that.. comparatively.. we hope we could bring happiness to ppl surrounding us.. cuz if they’re happy, we’ll be happy.

That’s why... our conversation on the phone always last for at least 1 hour... if he calls me. Too bad, he’s unavailable now.. haha!

That’s why, i don’t really mind about things that are done to me.. and i don’t really think that Rae should feel anything cuz for me, nothing de la.. haha!dont worry... i’ll still be sticking around her.. like her nanny... (yucks.. i don’t want...)ha!

Basically, i’m ok... and will be going to subang area later. So.... hope everything goes fine la.

ok,that was yesterday nite.....

kuen's another day.

I slept quite late yesterday.. i fetched my bro to work..
He finished work at 1am.. but i've already went out at 12am.. why? just wanna free my mind for a while...
haha.. but the ugly photo of Rae made me laugh till siao.. hehe..

Free my mind>? i was quite down yesterday. so, decided to go out at 12 am. but thank god, i heal myself by talking to my parents about their china trip.. haha.. cool!! That was before 12 am.

I went out after that..

went to 'ya tao yuan".. wanted to go down to yum cha.. but i was alone. so decided to just sit in the car, wind down the window, and listen to the songs..
emo songs le... haiz.. worse.
I cant really sing yet, so just closed my eyes and enjoy the lyrics of the songs they sang.. they sang lots of emo songs. dead la.. i lagi down.. hehe..

I enjoy listening to it.. especially 'only friends' by David Tao. It makes me flashed back the things that happened to me before. My tears filled my eyes.. yup, everytime i listen to the song alone, this will happen. dunno why.. hehe..

Then, i left at 12.40am.. to wait for my bro. i've waited quite long, till 1.10am.. luckily i was there, if not.. bro has to work OT. Then i requested bro to belanja me tang yuan, craving for it, he said GREAT!!! haha.. but... the stall closed d.. so we decided to go to Pelita. Gosh.. i really had a great time chatting with him.. I tolf him about my results and everything, and the things i go through. i cant help myself to tear again. He saw it.. and he told me:' call me la, when u're free, i'll layan u.... if i'm free."

haha... we ate and chatted till 2 something.. watched the Darts tournament there.. gosh!! i love darts tournament!! haha.. we talked about the darts all nite long..
then we came back., and he stayed at my room till 3 something. we chat and chat and chat.. Another bro was sleeping.. we talked about phones, futures, past, presents, mum and dad... haha! I love it. though i'm sleepy.. but i just love to chat.

wanted to write about the story of the cheese cake.. well, leave it la.. i'll just leave it in my 'forever unsent msg.." hehe...

Finally, i've had an outing with my whole family!! today@@!! hehe.. though it's short, but satisfying.. it's been a long time we've not been going out together d. well, i really enjoyed the laughter we had. :-)

I'm glad.. i'm really glad.. that somehow things that are changing and situation are maintained by hard. how long? how long will it be? or should i say.. how long does the cheese cake enjoying melting in different mouth? which temperature is optimum for melting?haha.. cheese cake, is always cheese cake. sometimes, i really feel like baking another cheese cake so that no give and tk or give and give situation occured between them...

weekdays are not mine.. weekdays arent my lucky day though!! haha. sometimes i think, ok, if at this moment, i'm very happy, well.. i'm sure there are ppl who are being sad at the moment when i'm being happy... well, if i'm sad, i'm sure there are ppl who are happy at the same time too.. rite? that's why.. we cant really care about the feelings of all ppl in the world. if u're happy, just be happy. If u're sad, just remember that the sadness u hv is only a small thing compared to other ppl's sadness. cuz other ppl, their sadness may be worse.

"It" affects me, it really do. I'm sensitive in feelings. Sometimes, when i say i dont care, deep in me, i really care.
how to change my character ar? haha.. haiz... fine. i am who i am. i believe, the character of mine... is special. cuz i treat all the ones around me.. quite good la.. They are special.
but please, dont hurt yourself just to make others happy..

wednesday morning...

got a comment from Wenn Iyng...

well, how do i know her? long story actually.. we've known each other through Julene. haha.. again from Julene. She's a connector of so many ppl in my life, Wenn Iyng, Fiona... without Julene, i wont know both of them. Without knowing them, i wont know Rose,Cyndi,and SF staff.. of course, I know SF staff first because of Julene and Jerry... which is Mei Ling And Shirley.. and the chain and relationship goes on.

I think i'll miss Wenn Iyng's and Rose's laughter.. well, my new housemate is a hong kong girl. Din really talked to her yet.. hehe.. so, hope we communicate well!

Wenn Iyng. She's a tough girl, really tough. Somehow she admire the toughness in me. I dunno why. She always said that i'm very mature and know how to think well. haha!!! and she likes bringing us(me and Rose) out makan as I'll finish anything,and i'll eat anything. hehe...

Rose, a Sarawakian who is not proud at all to be a Sarawakian. why? She'd moved to many places. She studied 2dary school in Brunei... (that's where she knows the famous actor from Korea who acted inSam Soon.. Henry Daniel. The 2nd main actor.) I was shocked to see her photo with him during 2ndary school in Brunei.. and they are the bestest friend ever.. ha! Henry always send her the personal pictures of The actors she likes... wow, a lot!!! She showed me... i was really impressed!

After that, she continued her 2ndary life in Seremban. Due to father's working environment.. so, she's now staying in Seremban, permanently..

She hated Sarawakian, and I've learnt many things from her. Sarawakians are ego.. and outdated. she said.. and they look down on ppl easily.. well, it's true actually... I'm from Klang. I've been looked down by ppl from Sarawak and Puchong. haiz... of course, When JJBT opens, they only realized that Klang is a class city. haha!!

Rose, I dunno her full name.. i've forgotten. just know that her name is Rose Ling. I'm glad that i've known her... she shared her experience with me when she was studying in Brunei, and Sarawak.. and she shared everything with me also, including her previous relationship with the Useless China Guy named Eric. From that case, I've learnt a lot. She really gave Eric a full blast!! haha! Silent Fire Clast.. i guess.. hehe..

then i share my experience with her.. in the pharmacy. cuz she's the type of person who is interested in money... and the oath.. haha!! she really laughed the whole process of oath taking!! cuz she knows, no one can fulfill it!!
She's really amazed that i came across of many customers, patients... yeah, it's great to talk to her.

See? I'm not that unfriendly though! haha...

I'm forced to go back to klang tonite... haiz... why? my dad said he's fetching me tonite, after my class.. thought of sleeping till dead after class... mana tahu... haiz... haha!!
maybe they wanna see me la... as they cant call me cuz i cant speak. and their sms skill is very..... NOOB! haha! They are consider very high tech cuz they already know how to sms! haha!

Sob.....

I'm feeling ok today. well, having my last quiz later, 12 to 1 pm. basically, i've studied.. just that i hope i can do it.

Another amazing thing i've found out.. i dunno how true is it, maybe it's the 2nd sem, so things are easier..
My stress level... ok, it's lower compared to last sem. well, i dunno why? first, it may be i've adapted to it, 2nd, it may be the ppl around me... 3rd: it may be the way i react to problems.
I dont think much nowadays.. cuz it's not worth to think about things that dont guarantee will happen.
I just live my life to the fullest.
do the normal routine everyday, study, class, blogs, eat, study, sleep. dull? i dont think so.. cuz i watched dramas when i'm eating. that's all. I hour or 40 mins drama time.. hehe.. just to relax la. I've learnt this from Wenn Iyng and Rose. They taught me this.. cuz they said :" everyday study study study, end up in Tg. Rambutan oso dunno what happen.."

well, to do this, u must hv full discipline. yep. u hv to hv strict discipline. haha!

I've had my voice... maybe a little. u know how it sounds? haiz... i rather dont talk. It sounds like Oboe... haha!! ya, OBOE!!! low and loud!! that's why i rather dont talk!! I've not been talking to my classmates since Monday! A new record for me! ppl though that i hv difficulty in talking... some of them wonder if I'm deaf. gosh.....

I cant wait for this Friday actually.. hehe... well, honestly, i dont quite know the way there..hope Rae will at least hv a rough idea on how to go there. Screw me..

At least now i know, by Friday, i hv my voice back to talk d... hehe.. just that i doubt whether can i sing ar>>??? haha!! i hate losing my voice, my voicebox is very very sensitive.. really. I lost my voice at least once a year. that's true. sometimes even twice.
damn, hv to build my singing technique again.... sob sob... everything starts from zero again!!! haiz.... sob sob....

Life is precious.. as what i wrote in my friendster blog. and this morning, i came across this sentence again from the presentation from other groups regarding Medical Negligence. At least, it gives me the meaning to live my life.... I think i'm old enough to do what i want. I'm not a small girl anymore..

Not a girl, not yet a woman. :-)

updated conversation..with wenn iyng..

ok.. my voice hvn recovered yet...

and know what? i cant even present my presentations... haiz...

that's when i found out another colour of ppl... calculative.

I dunno why on earth are there ppl who are so damn calculative!!! ok, damn! when i get my voice back! u'll just sit back anf listen! shit!

Wenn iyng taught me lots of things yesterday... haha!! she's graduating soon.. we talked about everything!!! and the start of this conversation was so.... special..

It starts from ....:

it was 6pm yesterday. I was in the library.. planned to search the cost of the foundation programme online... but too bad.. all the ground floor's computers are occupied. so, i decided to sit there and study, and wait for someone to leave the computer.

then sms came, from WY, asking what time i'm going home... (Rose went back to Seremban d...). well, i told her i'll be back before 7pm.
then she replied... She said later got girls wanna see the middle room... and she said that she's stupid enough not to detect their slang and told them where we stayed. she was scared that the girls brought guys to our house.. and she's alone...

so.. i faster reply her.."i'l be back before 6.30. wait for me." so, i quickly pack everything and walk back.. i guess i can win any marathon yesterday!!@ ha! i walked very fast!! it's not my normal speed!!

managed to reached by 6.30, sharp. when i was opening the lock, 2 black girls came.. and i suspect it was them.. so, yeah, they saw me.. and greet.. (damn, i said 'hi' by whispering..)haha!! so, i lead them in. asked WY to come out.. i was beside her.

Both of them are A levels student. and only one of them wanna rent the room.. and the Girl, named Jamilah, was excited to know tht WY is graduating from Pharm course.. hehe.. and she said she wanna study pharm after A-levels.

so, they were just there about 5 mins..

so bye..

then i was still holding my bag, taking my umbrella..(cuz drizzling when i walked home).. then we started to chat.

haha!!

We talked about hospitals, love...marriage... and the most interesting is.. WY taught me one thing.

if u dont like a thing, or a person, just reject it. dont waste ppl's time and money, and dont give false hope to ppl...
She was court by 7 ppl at one year.. she told me. All of them are from a good background. and she said... she was very cruel and rejected all of them. haha...
and she told me, her current boyfriend, haha!! suffered when he was courting her. why? WY is a very cruel person.. at that time. but eventually, she was touched by her current boyfriend.. he's done many things for her.. really sweet! hehe...

basically, i cant write what we chat.. but we laughed all nite!! we talked about 1 hour plus!! yeah, standing, with my bags on my shoulder..and umbrella in my pocket!

TIll i received the sms from julene asking me how many blogs i hv...(sad).. yeah, we were still talking.

Though i cant really produce any 'distinct' sound, i can still talk to her... and she keep asking me.. "which voice u use to talk to me ar? i've never experienced this before ler..."
sweat.. how am i going to answer her??? haha!!

ok la... fine.. till i grab my shirt and wanna take my bath, we were still talking!! she is so so so talkative!hehe...

I miss the talks.. ha! now... yeah, cuz i'm staying alone now. without them. Anyway, i'll be back on thursday.. OH ya!! I forgot... i hv training on Thursday evening... hehe.. glad that i can make it. ha!

k la. just wanna write something here...

hope i wont get any nitemares again....

...........

Woke up early? i dunno... i was havin nitemare yesterday nite. forgot what i dreamt of... but i think i cried.. haha!! see? i cry but i dunno why i cried in that dream. ehe... anyway, it's over.

woke up and sms Rae bout the Friday thingy..well, going to bring her to Sunway College. to clarify everything.

Julene fed up of blogs? know what? i oso got fed up with ppl reading blogs. not u definitely. so, i'm sorry i did not tell abot the switch.. guess the less u know, the better u'll be. tht's what i think. I hope julene understands why i did not announce it on friendster... cuz i hope that she wont fed up with everything.. cuz blogs... it reflects the real feeling of everyone. (that's part of the reason why i don wanna announce also.._)

it really feels heartbroken when u read and u feel heartbroken.. and get fed up of everything.. so, better keep quiet about my blog.

I'm thinking of changing though. I'm serious.. well, as usual.. if i want a person to know, i'll do something.. haha!!!!

I hope to explain everything to Julene, but i dont think i need that.. cuz it worsen everything. better leave it? forget it? haiz... headache....
Blogs.... a place to express everything... and it's a place where all the problems come.. rite? Kinda disappointed with blogs now though....

will be back on thursday, finally made up my mind. the first thing i wanna do is... haha... do everything before i jump into my study break!!! cuz i may collapse during the whole month. so... good for me! friday trip to SUC definitely on! Thursday nite's yum cha... i doubt.

Wenn Iyng... she talked like crazy with me yesterday!! we talked for almost one hour!!! gosh... update te story later!! hehe... it's a long story and she taught me many things through the conversation.. haha!!! will update later too! hehe...

Dunno why... i care about others' feeling more than mine. another DEADLIEST weakness of mine!!! haiz...why ar??
Sometimes i rather hurt myself than hurting other ppl.... haiz.... why ar?
Sweat..... maybe i want pl aroud me to be happy gua....
but now.. i dont really hurt myself to tk care of others feeling now.. why? cuz the days are still peaceful..
I just hope that no one will hurt him/herself just to make me happy....
that's all...

a day? yes, it is.

ok, damn, i've lost my voice.... COMPLETELY!!!!! happy? yeah, in a way that i will not spend my saliva talking... cuz it's better to be quiet.

well, came back from Klang yesterday nite right after i sent Rae back. Early huh? yeah.. cuz my aunty fetched me back. Another.. hectic life? i suppose? haha... last quiz is on WEdnesday. well... still thinking whether to go back on wednesday nite onot... haha!! but most probably, i dont think i'll go back.. not till Friday morning.

I'm currently 'disturbing' all my friends who tk engineering course in UTAR... why? just wanna ask them about the quality of the lecturers there... well, some replied... haha... actually i've met one of my friends in Utar taking E & E Engineering. His life is very hectic too.. well, like i said, nothing is easy.

I'll still get the SAM notes anyway.. who knows it may be useful in Foundation studies? haha.
My life?? haha... according to RAe.. it's pathetic.. why? cuz i eat alone, sleep alone, study alone... everything alone.. CAnt imagine what's my life will be when Wenn Iyng and Rose moved. but... it depends on me actually. I can choose to move out and stay with my coursemates... but i dont want. cuz me? I like privacy.. I can survive without anything being given,, haha.. but it's not good for health la.
It's like that, during first Sem, u're trying to find a gang which clicks. then u'll join them for the rest of the year. If u've find that u can click with them anymore, then u'll try to find others. haha..
know what i like about UTAR? it's because of their co-curricular activities... My friends in UTAR, they all hv another foster family which loves them so much in other states. haha!!! so, again, it depends on u whether u want to get involve onot.

me? I hv no time to pang sai d... so, what do u expect?haha!!! plus, i'm lack of sleep!!! ha!

The decision has to be made. No choice oso die, too many choices oso die... Rich ppl... some they dont study, not rich ppl, wanna study but dont hv money... haiz... That's the norm of the society.

i wish my father was here yesterday... i hv lots of things wanna ask him regarding engineering.. cuz he is always the pro and he knows more about it... as his company.. haiz, flooded with useless engineers. haha!@!

Why UTAR is so cheap? I believe, i hvn answer the question. It is because, it is governed by a body.. i forgot which body.. It is made for those top achievers, who are poor, and cannot get a place in the course they wanted in local U. it is affordable, and the quality of the student is good. UTAR is different than KTAR. KTAR is famous with it's architecute and building, so do quantity Survey. UTAR is famous for it's Science courses and Engineering course. My seniors are there mostly. some doing chem en, some doing bio tech. and know what? they actually enjoyed themselves there. Of course, there are stress moments too.

The certificate part, it's not a local Uni, it's half private. The certificate will be issued by UTAR. as it does not collabrate with any Uni overseas. can it be considered as local cerificate? well, It's something like UCSI's certificate. Just that most chinese went there because of chinese's character, cheap and quality. My dad's boss, he actually sent his son to UTAR for Chem Engineering. why? cheap, and quality also.

Dad told me before, UTAR has a good background in Engineering. really... all the big boss's son.. (those studious type la) went there. If u go to a Uni because of the name, well... it'll be expensive. Dad's right. His company hire ppl according to their capability, and Race. and they favour those from private U, not local. If u're from local, u'll be under probation.. UTAR, is DEFINITELY BETTER than LOCAL U!! For sure!

Chui Heng.. he's a smart guy!!! super smat! He gets CHem En in UPM, but he refused to go. Why? HE told me that quality wise, UTAR is far more better. so, he gave up the UPM seat and went to UTAR, of course, with PTPTN loan.

Andrew... he gets a seat in UKM, civil En, cut he gave up too.. firstly, he's interested in E & E En, second, UTAR's quality. That's the feedback i get from them.

I dunno how tru was that... but i definitely trust Chui Heng.. cuz he was a top scorer in STAR. and i've known him since Form 1.

For me, a UNI, there's definitely a blend of good and not very good lecturers. For sure.. Like me. I hv good and not good lecturer, i wont say bad, cuz they've tried their best to teach us... really. but comparatively, they are not so good compared to the good ones.

and most lecturers wont try to fail u in the exam. They'll give tips.. for sure. :-)

Again, the quality comes from urself. I've finally believe that. U can be very rich, and ur dad sents u to Monash, and u cannot study.. u come out with a Monash cert, but u cant perform ur work. so, what's the point of u having the cert? Through working only, ur capability will be shown. For me, where u get ur cert, it doesnt matter.. cuz u can always further ur studies in overseas and get a cert from the Uni u desire. That's my thinking.

I wanted to go USM... my plan is, i may study my master or PharmD in USM.. so, i am a grad from USM also.

If distance is a problem.... then it's not a problem. Daddy and mummy will not be fong sam at first.. that's for sure. UTAR is not far actually.. why? can travel by KTM... haha... any place which can be reached by just KTM.. is not far la.. as i've met my friends from UTAR setapak before.. they tk LRT from wangsa maju..so... basically.. ok, it's further than Monash..

well... nowadays.. If someone approached me and say they dont hv money.... I will answer them staright away... "Go for it! as u'll hv PTPTN loan for u!!" it's definitely full loan!!!!" hehe.. yeah... go for it. really...

I know my blog is now contradicting... as i'm busy sms-ing my friends in Setapak and Rae.. so.. kinda retard a bit in this blog...

Yeap, thanks to PTPTN acutally.. most Private Uni and College students can apply for it... but u must hv certain criteria la... ha! A person like me can get full loan too.. ha~! so do u !! most of my course mates get it la... i think all of them get it. hehe...

Now, PTPTN does not offers loan for Foundation... too bad... anyway, the entry to Monash Uni is based on the Foundation or A-level result. so, work har for it lo.

i dont think money will be a prob anymore... :0

ok, I'm now coughing like hell, still, i'm voiceless.... plus... haiz.. i wish i could sleep like a deadman... haha!! oh ya, maybe i should do that this WEdnesday after all my classes!!! haha!! I miss sleeps...

MonASh... a good place. If and only if PTPTN loan is provided.hah! no la, just that u get to know more about different culture... just like UCSI.. haha!! the culture which i dont wanna know actually!!! HELLO! NEGRO le~!!! u wanna know ar??? i give u lo... all black de.... haha!!!

k la. gtg... i'm still searching for pathsto get the info about the cost of Chem En in Monash. Worse to Worse, i'll get it a few days later... ha!

Oh ya.. some feedback to Rae's blog.

" u're not pathetic la... everyone will face the same prob when they come to this stage. hehe... For now, just decide where u wanna go, A-level? Foundation? study hard for it, then achieve ur dreams....
Money wise... PTPTN will do it for u.. all u need to do is dont be blur while doing online application, do it properly and carefully, that's all. and attach the right documents.. haha!!! when u come to that, consult me la. I'm an experienced applicant.haha!
u did not caused any troubles to me... i'm not disappointed anyway, as i'll respect ur decision. cuz i feel that either path is ok too.. just tht it's too much of choices and lots of thing needed to be considered.. In the future, if u do need any help in studies, feel free to ask, whoever.. my bro, me or anyone. but promise, do ur best in everything.
thanks for willing to accompany me... haha... appreciate it very very very much... "

Concentrate in one thing at one time...

That's what i wanna say.. as humans have scarce concentration. U can only own one thing.... only one... completely.

back from Jenjarom!!!!!

it's 2 AM now.. well, wonderi8ng what should i be doing..? know wat??? I'm drinking 'ku cha' at home now... and some Hor Yan Ho.. haiz. I've completely lose my voice!!! SOS!!! die la... how to talk 2mr during lunch ar?

Yep, just now actually dunno where to go for dinner.. well, at last, we've decided to go.... JENJAROM!!!!! we went for a nice, cheap dinner!!!! haha!!! satisfying!! really!!! that's where i've started to lose my voice la! cuz keep talking and laughing with my brothers!!!!

haha... we reached there around 9.40pm. planned to pay some respect to Buddha in Dong Chan Si... but... closed d... haiz.. so we went straight for dinner.. haha!!
long time d... i've never had this kind of chat and journey with my brothers.. so, kinda enjoy it!!! (though i'm the one who pays for everything,,...)haha!!!

Yeah, after dinner, it's about 11pm. so, since we all feel that it's a little early, so, we shoot back to JJBT for movies!! haha!! Finally! i get to watch what i want to watch!!! 10.000BC!! haha!!! gues where we seat? we're in cinema 8,seats A5, 6, 7. see? it's A!!!!!! First row!!! wow... first time experience... haha!! like my bro said, everyone has their first time rite? haha!!

Nice movie though!! at least i did not sleep during the movie!! haha!!!!

I've completely lose my voice... die la....

I met Kary and Dex.. haiz, should i be disappointed ar? i dunno.... know it's non of my business, but.... kinda hard to believe to see someone become like this... She saw me, but.. aku buat macam tak nampak saje... haiz... dunno how the hell she could kiss Dex's face!@!!!!! haha!!!

Then we drove back.. well, as usual, i was not on my seat belt and guess what???? there was i road block... haha!!! I was stopped by the 'uncle' and get my licence and ic checked. why? cuz i did not slow down when they wanna check what's inside my car, scared that i was drug trafficking.. haha!!! no la... they understand also, just ask me not to drive so fast when there's a road blog.. and i answered them 'Yes' without my voice... I cant really talk now,. damn, how am i going to work 2mr?

I hv 2 presentations to go!!! on Monday and Tuesday!!! HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!

i should be sleeping, rite?? i need rest..... i guess... haha!!!

Today.... i feel that my bro has become mature.... i dunno why. cuz he said something to another younger brother of mine and it really shocked me... well, i dont think i can create back the situation by just typing.. wow.. He is.. he has grown. I always treat him as a little kid, who i always bully... but when i step out, he is almost 20 now.. see? 20!!!! my bro is 20 yrs old!!! it's cool to hv a bro.. who grows up with u.. and he is 20! Gosh... he's entering Uni soon.. sob sob.. human has to grow, rite??

My house has become a mess when daddy and mummy not in.. why? my brothers dont even refill water..(wonder what they drink for the past few days..!), dont even do laundry... and my room.. i almost cannot recognise that it is my room... and now, i'm forced to sleep in my parents' room. haiz... that's my brothers! damn.......

I hv no voice and energy to ask Ray to tidy up my room now... he claims that he is tired. well, sleep lo! when my parents come back... haha!! the messy environment will become tidy again automatically. both my bro are scared of daddy.... hahahaha!! anyway, tantrums will be thrown, but i'm not at home!!! kakakakaka... bad kuen huh? yeah, i'm always bad......

hehe... cant wait for my souvenirs from China though!!! dunno what mummy will buy me.... ha! Do i miss them? well... not really.. cuz i miss other ppl more. haha!!!

k la, i should be resting now.. let me view a few websites and i'll snore to the break of the dawn!

Chaoz!

nitez...ZzzZzzz...

fast and ... not furious...

went to edu fair... hehe... with my bros and met Rae there. happy to meet her!! hehe...

I think i'm sick. start coughing like hell.. thanks to Rae la!!! haha!!!

I'm tired today.. really. leg pain, tired, no more energy liao.. still , just now in TKD, really release out everything.. wow, i like shouting everything out and kicking everything out. that's how i try to get rid the person... try to get him out of my mind. Sucker...

so, i'm now.. my voice, serak d.. haiz, this is normal, why? i always shout every saturday. yep, i hv to shout in order to teach. haha... I can shout very loud le... i think i found my 'dan tian' voice d.. the voice where ppl use to sing.. haha!!!

Feel good to be at home. Happy to be with my brothers again. I really miss our good time together.. well, we are going for dinner later.. haha!!! cant wait.

I'm very smelly now, as i just reached home from training. feel like writing, so write lo.
hehe...

working 2mr, think i'm working with Kavitha.. Julene asked me out for lunch... too bad, i cqant make it today cuz i'm still in cheras.. haha!!!!!

K la, my bro came out from bathroom d... gtg bath.. pom pom....

tata........

Glad today reach home early!!

Muacks!

moodless..

class is in afternoon today... haiz.. too bad, can only go bck tmr. Another quiz 2mr.. which i'm quite scared of.. haha!! Wish me luck though!!!

Not really in the mood to blog today, haiz... bro's having tough time with another bro. so... kinda like comfort one of them and scolded one of them. haiz... my image as a sister... ruin!!!! haha!!

Wenn Iyng and Rose having the OATH ceremony.. well, as a pharmacist, u need to tk oath before u graduate. I call it :' oath which cannot be fulfilled." yep, U can only be dedicate when 're studying, "ethiques" will not stay in u once u start working. that's true. :-)

I'm not in the mood la, haiz...

stop here.

Chiao.

Kuen's today.

did quite well in my pt counselling.. hehe. glad. hope i can pass!

what's my feeling now? no feeling.. cuz i dunno what i feel.. haiz...

wrote on my friendster blog. well, most of my friends read that blog actually.. to keep track on me... and the reason i'm having this blog is...hehe... write wat i want lo...

well, who know maybe i'll create another account... haha!!! well, this will only happen if i suddenly feel pek chek and when i feel it's time to change.. haha!!

for the time being, i wont change... as i'll still stick to this blog.

I'm worried... can someone get rid of this feeling out of me!!!??@! i hope everything's fine...

For me, i've received 2 good news yesterday. 1: Rae's good result. 2: qualified for SAM and Chem En. see? 2 good news rite? :-)

For me, it is.

as i said before, parents wont blaim us if we've done our best. that's for sure. they'll babble a lil, but they'll still give their full support. that's for sure!

I'm going to an adventure trip with Ray and Song this saturday... hehe.. going to grab this little chance to go far away from klang... ha! no la, i wanna bring them out... maybe for a seafood dinner. hehe... well, i'll plan and see la.. haha!!! see whether it jalan onot.. haha!!

dunno where to go yet... haiz.. but not away from selangor la.. just away from klang. well, i dont really know the roads... haiz... i've prepared to long pia d!!! ha! bear in mind, i can only do this when my parents are not in Malaysia!!!!! so, tk this precious chance la, of course! haha! this will be the secret between us.... hehehehe....

my stupid bro.. haiz, phone always got no credit... wanna ask him things oso cannot. He hvn replied me regarding the plan for this Saturday, our visit to KLCC. yeah, edu fair. wanted to go there to enquire some info. It's better i go along, as i know what criteria to look for. hehe... oh ya, Rae will be going too! but i dunno what time she'll be going la.. anyway, i think we'll meet anyway. unless she FFK la. haha!

I'm searching for books for SAM, and i've found some friends who are still having textbooks and notes. Glad tht the calculator thingy had solved, cuz Rae get it from her cousin. so, hehe.... I dont need to go for the calculator d.. I was shocked to know the price of the stupid graphical calculator!!! 300 plus!! gosh... just for 6 months... damn.

If nothing happens, i think i'll get the notes from my friend next week.

I've started to worry when my friend from SAM, she told me that the MArch intake is going to be very very very busy. their class will be separated with the January intake. the difference is... March-intensive. January- normal speed.

Gosh.. i cant imagine... u hv 6 months. and u hv assignments to do.. and it is 50% and 50%. 5 subjects together, if each subject has 1 assignment, u'l hv 5 assignments. it needs groupwork and individual contribution.. then if u drag the assignments, then, u'll be very bz. mk it this way, 50/50 rite? 3 months for assignments, 3 months for studies. haiz... still hv lab ler??? still got reports to write ler!! wow, damn busy man.. still, class ends at 4pm everyday. mandi, makan, then hv to study d.. no time to procrastinate also. wah piang eh!!!

Anyway, hv to go through also la... cuz i cant imagine the intensiveness of SAM... as i'm already very bz... no time to 'pang sai' also... haha!!

It really needs a lot of mental toughness.. but luckily, what SAM student study is not as much as A-level. so, It creates another prob when u're in degree... hv to work extra extra hard.

I know it cuz some of my coursemates are from SAM.. well, need to help them sometiomes in someof the chemistry thingy. anyway, the best way to win over this kind of tough life is to adapt to the changes.

Things are changing, environment is changing, ppl are changing. so, adapt to the change, in order to survive in this cruel society. Like i did. I am trying to adapt myself to the situation now... i took a lot of time, cuz i'm dumb. I dont really open my options to changes.. as i still believe ppl are all kind and helpful, they wont tk advantage on u... mana tahu, when i start studying.. i get to see 7 colours of the ppl... kinda scary sometimes.

cuz my attitude... i'm very cincai// so that's the prob!! always being taken advantage by other ppl!! haha!!

suddenly thought of what wenn iyng said when all of us, including Rose went out for dinner last 2 days. Yeah, I belanja them.,.. haha!! Wenn iyng was blaiming why i do that... haha! she said :" yorrrrr..... kuen hor, u always sit near the boss one lo... everytime also like that.. in klang oso liddat.. very bad de lo/..." then Wenn iyng told Rose i always pay when i go out yum cha with wenn iyng... so Rose said :" haha... nvm la, Kuen rich today, she belanja ma.... haha!!! (she's just joking..). Then wenn iyng said :" Kuen is not rich, is just that she cincai, she dont really count every cent or things with ppl.. that's why, this kind of friend has to be appreciated, not to tk advantage...." haha!! all of us laughing.. we laugh all the way back. :-) then u know what they did at last??? they dont want to accept the electrical bill and water bill for this month.... SWEATnya!!!!!! haha!!!

that's Wenn Iyng. She always said I am very mature at this age compared to her at the same age of mine. well, mature? haha.... why everyone saying that i'm mature ler? but think back... I dunno how to act childish le.... haha!!!!!

Both of my housemates are leaving soon... so, i appreciate more. Both Wenn iyng and Rose were running around the School of Pharmacy to tk picture, met them when i was on my way to toilet.. so they stop and say :" Kuen!!! come!! (Wenn Iyng posing beside me...) CHEESE!!!" SNAP! i CHEESE with them lo.... haha!!! they're real funny... then they runaway again to tk pics with their friends, with all the funny posts.. haha!!!

maybe that's the last year they can be so crazy.... haha!

CAnt wait to be my turn though!

I understand that... whatever happens, we'll still hv to face it no matter what. REspect others, respect urself. That's what i've learnt from Wenn Iyng and Rose. They are one of the wonderful things in my life.

i was calling, i was on the phone... snap!!! see!! haha....

GLAD!!!!! really GLAD!!!!

yes!! she answered my phone d!!!!

love her damn much!!! 4A's!! good result ler!!! haha!!! anyway, i know she feels that it is not good.... but.. haha! she'd tried her best. the all F thingy did not come true!!! haha!!

well, guess i'll belanja her a meal la... haha!! and wait till i can afford that thing la.. ha!

I'm very proud of her. really.

well, i cant help but to tell her this.

Rae:

hey, be happy, cuz u've done ur best. so what if it is not what u've expected? at least u get to enter SAM, right?
u know what? I'm willing to help u in ur SAM subjects when u hv difficulties. really. and i wanna tell u.. just incase u cant find me, u can find my bro. phone number: 0716809268. save it!! He's a pro in chemistry and biology, and of course, maths. haha!!!
Celebrate the moment.... it's once in a lifetime.

Dont look back to what u've done. Look forward to things that u're about to do! that's the most important.
I will always be there for u. dont worry about that.. but u dont bully me, can d.. haha!!!

Now what u can do is, Study hard in SAM, as it is 50% / 50%. and i believe, u can do it if u really put ur effort in. though sometimes hardwork doesnt pay.. haha! but most of the time, it pays. hehe..

ok, I dunno what will happen to u and vy, i guess u've already hv ur decision in it. haha.... watever it may be, may god bless u.

I will not stop praying for u,
I will not stop supporting u,
I will not stop loving u as the most stupiak girl in kuen's WWW,

just ring me if u need anything,
i'll try my best to help.
cant promise that i'll solve ur prob, but at least i can share. :-)

I'm really proud of u, dont ever blaim urself for everything.. be proud that this is ur hardwork. keep improving urself. as a whole new challenge will be coming this end of month.
Hv faith in urself. u can do it.


regards: Kuen

Yok mar hor? i oso dunno why i can write these... haha!! anyway, it really comes from the bottom of my heart.

I'm really proud.... yesterday and today. Both of my loved ones done well... I'm really happy!! haha!!!

i can go for my patient counselling test happily later!!! haha@!!!

Muacks!!!

Shock!!

haiyo... the stupiak girl really shrink her picture... but haiz... no difference to me, cuz she enlarged the Jay's picture and... BOOM! shocked! haha!!!! haiz... no difference between today's pic and yesterday's pic... haha!!!!!!!!

I know she wont get F de la.. haha!! dunno what happened to her le... she dont want to answer my phone... haha!! maybe she's just stressed and dont want me to disturb and make her more scared gua... fine then. anyway, i hv strong faith in her.. really.!

watever happens, she'll still get what she wants. I know. It's just that... she dont want to disappoint everyone, especially her mum. I understand. Parents... haha! they hv high hope but they dont wanna show. same goes to me.

I'm happy! bro got his result d!! kinda good la... haha!!!!@ love him!
at last... I'm relief..

and today... another shocking moment.

haha!

Parents know... when we've tried our best. they wont blaim us... when we've tried our best.

I'm starting to feel stress now... i dunno why... I'm scared. but still, i will try my best.
even parents do not show their high hope on me... but i think i feel burdened. cuz.. i dun wanna disappoint them.

i guess... that's what my bro felt too. but at last, i manage to give some support to him. :-) he did his best! haha! i know that.

I'm... haiz... no point saying stress here. why? u hv to overcome the stress.... by doing ur best. I hope everything goes fine. really.

Went for dinner with Wenn iyng and Rose yesterday.. haha! had a great time with them actually. at least, i had some laughs. anywya, both of them are very very very talkative!!! haha!! Wenn iyng brought me to good and cheap food again... ha!!! really yummy! haha!

March almost comes to an end... yeah, indicates what? Finals coming.... Stupiak girl starts studying.... things will kinda be a little different. Note that? "a little'... i guess that's only to comfort myself la.
As i said... it's very scary to wake up alone and find that everything has changed. haha!!!!

I guess the day is coming closer... I can feel it's presence.

will i be scared? i dunno. haha!

I'm insane. in fact, i was very insane yesterday! Gosh.... I hope i wont be more insane today... haha!

I love the fact that everything is fine now... will i be loving the fact when things has gone? well, i dunno.

Few more hours to know the stupiak girl's result... what will it be? she didnt pick up my phone anyway... sob.. haha!!! but i wont blaim her la, cuz there's a lot of possibilities why she didnt pick up. haha!!

bless her@!! all the best!! (i'm very gan jiong now..... haha!)

Muacks!!!

shocked!!!

Shock man!!!

I really got the shock of my life yesterday and today!!!!

right, start with yesterday....

i was announce as the new class representative for next semester... what the!!! I was like :' huh??? what??"

Hello~@@@!!!! I'm very quiet in the class, i dont involve in any activities and the only thing i involve in is the orientation thingy!@ and u know what kevin said?(he's my class rep this sem), he said :" kuen, we found that u hv the capability to lead the class and u communicate well with others... so, me and Grace(asst class rep) decided to nominate u..."

CAn u believe it???? i try to be as passive as possible in the class... and still, someone saw my leading capability. how can it be!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i must hv done something wrong somewhere...
I'm not really ready for any responsibilities le...
I really got shocked yesterday... out of so many ppl in the class, why me????? did i do something wrong or did i show something that i shouldnt be showing??? Damn...

ok, that was yesterday.

and this morning... i got shocked because i've slept for 10 hours non stop from yesterday!!! I was really tired... and i slept at 8pm.. woke up at 7am!!! gosh...... actually i put my alarm at 3am, so that i hv time to study cuz today's morning class was cancelled... mana tahu.. aku tido sampai lewat.. haiz...

but i feel energetic now!! it's been a long time since i hv 10 hours sleep!!! haha!!!!

I was shocked.... haha...


Again, i was shocked just now... why? when i open the stupiak girl's blog, i nyaris nyaris kena heart attack!!!!!

the picture was....... so big... and so scary!!!

can u imagine, suddenly a BIG PICTURE appear in front of u!!! and u did not expect the picture to be so damn big!!!
My reaction :" (eyes big) tergamam..... mouth open wide...."

gosh..... she scared no one sees her beautiful face and beautiful size 16 dress.... haha!!!
I really got a shock!!!!

damn big picture!!!!

and now... i dunno how many time i went to the toilet just now... my BRO!!! he's getting his result today!!!!!!!!!!!gosh... i think i'm more nervous than him.. even my dad called back from China to ask about the result! see!!!

Gosh... and i'm still waiting....

and 2mr.. haha!! another shocking news!!! hehe... i'm really having heart attach these 2 days...

jor... i cant wait. and i think i'm irritating.. cuz i keep on calling and smsing my bro... haha!

oh ya.. Ms Tan really made me shosck again just now... She came in suddenly and open the class with the election topic. and she really opened up my mind again..... cuz she said, there's a lot of lessons to be learnt from this election.

It's true that the reason why the opposition won is because they are concern about Malaysian's issue, not race issue. For example like Inflation, crimes, economis...... these are the issue we are concern of, not about the special treats of the races, what the malays get, what the chinese get, or what malay dont get, what chinese dont get... It's not about that anymore. Cuz i think chinese are numb with it d.. we dont really care about the issue anymore, all we want is good life.. no inflation.

and as now, we can see, another reason why opposition won is... the change of mindset of the ppl in the city. Most of them are educated ppl, so, i guess they want a change too. cuz they are sick of the same way, and the country is going into regression rather than progression. dont u think so? I think we've wasted our past 3 years plus... for nothing..

so, i dont want another waste of time for the next 5 years. I cant wait to see the progress of our country in the next 5 years because this is a total new start for the country. Why? means ppl's mindset are changing. they want a change for the ppl and the country.

well, Abdullah has sworn in as PM.... well, i heard Toyo will be the Minister of Selangor again!! what the!! sweat... i cant wait and see what will happen to Selangor. ha!

shock of my life....

I'm really having palpitation today....


and i'm really insane today!!!!

damn!

guess i'll update my bro's result 2mr..... up here... ha!

HEY YOU!

stupiak Girl:

dont use the new RM 50 note!!!!

if u've used it... hehe... get another one back before i go back

ok?

so, the best.....dont use it..!~!

hahah@


regards:

KuEN

Whole New monday.....(feel sad to come back..)ha!

haha! just finished my medicinal chemistry quiz. well.. everything goes fine. :-) I did not really study.. but still manage to do it. haha!



2mr... is the determination day of Ray. Ther day after 2mr is the determination day of Rae. so, well... ok, i know days go by even after the so called 'determination day". so?



nah.. i'm just being lame here. I wanted to be there for both of them so much. U cant imagine how craving i am to be in klang. but....... it just cant be done. I'm having a full day class 2mr, plus presentation, then on wednesday, i am having test for patient counselling... though i am free for the whole day... haiz.



DAMN it! DAMN it! i wanted to be there ler..... haiz... not shock at all to know the results through sms and through phone calls.. ha!



I still remember, my bro opened my stpm result... haha!!! of course, i love him more since that day!!!! haha!! cuz he was so.... unexpected. he gave me a lot of support le..



well, i've made a request to him.. i'll open his result when it's his turn to get it... but... i cant do it.. i really cant...



As for Rae.. haiz... me? another gone case. I wanted to be there.. why? hehe... just to be supportive la. After all.. she'll be giving me 2 good news on that day.. haha! I really want to be there for both of them so BADLY....... I truly, madly, deeply want to be there.... ARGH!!!!!!!!!!~!!!



Screw me! ok.. I'm lame.





A few 'short sentence' which i found it meaningful and it really suits me.. ok.. cant be copied and pasted.. so i'll just translate it..



" we live in this world, all we can do is APPRECIATE every moment. treat every moment truly, whole heartedly... do not ever waste ur time in commotions, cold wars... cuz we dont know, how long fate exists btween us, cuz we dont know, how long is our days in this world. Fate, it will fade a little by little, it cannot gain.love those around you, love them, forgive them, care for them.. cuz by doing this, u're loving yourself. By doing these, u'll hv no regrets in the future..."

ok.. the grammar sounds weird.. but i've tried my best to preserve the msg... ha! ok, my English real low... k????

I love the sentence...

that's why i want to be there so much.....

I understand that fate is always fading.. it depends on how long it takes to fade. that's why, when i know that fate has come to me, I'll try to treasure it and make every moment memorable... as i said, we dont know how long can fate between us will sustain, and how long it takes to fade..

i hope it takes forever to fade... really...

haha!!!

fate within families... it takes forever to fade. Love? couples? it depends... Mine has faded, haha!!! ok, i'm waiting for a new one... but it has to be after 23 yrs old.. kakakakaka....

sobbing..... I want to be there to see the results myself, with my own eyes.... be happy on the spot, be as crazy as i can be!! haha!!

haha..... i'm real low.. cuz i acnt find the phone my bro wanted.... sob... cuz it's not in the production anymore..... how ar? i dunno what to do... buy other phone? no... he is very particular... i want to give him what he wants....
anyway, i'll keep finding!@ till i've found it! :-)

Time really flies... i hvnm tell Julene that i want to off for the month of April....

haha...
the aunty.. we were talking about politics for the whole Sunday morning.. gosh... and of course, she told me her personal things too... well, what else? it's about in laws and Xin Yee. haiz... sakit hatinya.. to hear the things she told me... haiz..... poor Xin Yee..... my little girl.... haiz....
Anyway, i still fell that it depends on Julene whether she wants to settle it or not.... she seems to hv 'half' decision now... haiz.. hopefully she'll find her way out la. hehe...

Went to BBQ plaza with the Stupiak girl.. haiz.. before that, we went to the korean bbq and guess what? we left after sitting down... cuz !st, it's quite expensive. 2nd) no mutton, lamb. HELLO!!! both are in my consideration le!!! so.. we left. (surprisingly stupiak girl asked me out for lunch.... cuz i expect myself to meet her this weekend only...) haha..

Gosh... i ate till my stomach burst in bbq plaza... and it's quite reasonable.. haha!! ya, i was sleepy... and i get even sleepier when i was eating.. wish i could just lie my head on someone's shoulder, close my eyes, and chew... haha!!! see? lazy bump! haha!

maybe we should go sakae this weekend... haha!!! kinda free la, parents not at home... so... evil.. and devillish me... haha!! but i still need to at least study for quiz on monday.. haha!!! yeah, next week will be the last week for lectures, then it'll be my study break. sad....

I wont be going back to klang for 3 weeks starting april. so... i pray hard that i wont COLLAPSE.. i hope i wont collapse. cuz i'm really scared... it doesnt feel good to cry when u're depressed or stressed.. haiz... Anyway, i hv to go through these... yeah, i think my family will not come and visit me most probably. not because they're not supportive, i think they just want me to concentrate gua....... 3 weeks without anyone i know.. it's a tough time. really.. From my past experience, it is scary..........

I'll be going straight to KLCC this SAturday after my quiz. so, expected will reach there around 11 am. what will i do when i reach ar? dunno wor... I think it's time for lunch gua... haha! anyway, will meet my brothers in KL sentral first. yep. I want to ask about transferring rom UCSI to IMU. just asking only.... cuz i dont really feel happy studying here.. why? i dunno. haha.... not happy of the system la, not classmates. :-)

well, 2 places having edu fair this saturday. KLCC will hv the most booths. really a lot... wow.. they'll be talks, seminars... all! haha!! so.. i'll be going! for sure.. !! just that.... hehe.. i'll ask my brother to carry my laptop... hahahahahaha!! bad sister... bad kuen... ha!

FAte is fading? love is gaining? watever it may be... just treasure every moment u hv. cuz i already believe it when i was in Form 1... fate really goes. it'll fade but not gain. AS i've been through many things since form 1... which built my character now. believe it ot not, i've been through shits.. but thank god, i'm still me. and thanks to the past, i am who i am now.

ADieu.