this was written yesterday nite... or today morning... to be exact, it's 3.30 morning..
went supper with bro last nite.. before that, i went to julene’s house with Rae..this
Haiz.. we had a good time actually.. haha.. but.. something happened? Yep.. when i look back my ‘forever unsent msg..” it sort of like.. ok.. it came true..
Well, it’s all expected and i wouldn’t believe that it came true. haha@@! Intuition? No.. as i said, weekdays is not a good day for me.
What kind of face i gave? I wish i had mirror THAT Time,, cuz i dunno what kind of face is that. But it’s a face of mine.. nothing bad la, just that.. i hate myself for not following it.. i mean the unsent msg. Haha.. anyway, i’m ok with it, cuz it’s expected.
Am i mad? To be honest.. nothing. No, no mad, no hate, no nothing. And what julene said is definitely not true... straight after Rae left. Maybe i should change my facial expression a bit.. from something become nothing.. ehhe.. but impossible la.. even plastic surgery oso cant help! Haha!
I really hate this.. everytime when i wait for my bro, i sure get to listen to David Tao’s song. Haiz... his songs are brilliant.. just that a stupid listener like me shouldn’t be listening to his great songs. I hv his whole album...but none of them are in my pc or phone. So when i listened to the songs while i was waiting, haiz.. really wanna shut myself down. It really reminds me of the feeling again.. especially the song..’blACK tangerin’. I love that song.. hate it at the same time. Cuz when violent occurs, what u can get from the lyrics is exactly how i feel. EXaACTLY>>>!!!
Weird ar? I am that weird. That songs really reminds me of a lot of unwanted memories.. which i wish i could erase it forever.
Anyway, i’ve watched Ah Long Pte.Ltd yesterday.. had a great laugh with my family!!! J I don’t really mind watching the movie again le.. haha!!! Laughter is the best medicine mar...
I’m very impressed yesterday nite that the tings that i wrote actually occurs.. i think that’s the expression i hv last nite. Julene was totally wrong and i proved her that. Hehe.. sorry....
Stupid me...
Bro actually pointed out one thing for me. I’ve told him about my fear and a lot of what ifs’ .. i asked him.. what if i graduate after 5 years instead of 4 years? He said... “is there any difference? When u’re 56 yrs old and ppl asked u when did u graduate.. either answer 22 or 24 would not make any difference. So, it’s no difference for me.. either u graduate 24 yrs old or 25 yrs old.” See? My bro... he’s far more mature than i thought.
I asked him :” hv u seen any brothers and sisters whose their relationship is like us ar?” he think very long and said :” yah or... no wor... very very less..” basically, i made him laugh all nite by creating jokes... haha!! he’s a good listener.
I asked him a stupid question... “ do u think we’ll still be like this when we really grow up? When u hv ur own career and ur own family? Can we go out again? Or maybe u’ve married and u wanna migrate, will we go out for mamak and yum cha like this? If u start studying, we hardly have time.. if u migrate, we only meet once a year or even none a year.” He said: “ don’t worry la, if i start studying, i’ll still come back.. if i migrate, well.. at least we still meet once a year.. haha!! “ we went home at 3.15 am, after watching a free movie.. nice movie!! It feels like cinema.. cuz all of us scream and laugh together.. haha! ‘
Bro told me many things that he hvn told or he had not been given a chance to talk.. i really enjoy talking to him. Cuz his sudden change... really made me realize that he has grown...
I told him that sometimes i couldn’t believe that i hv a bro who is 20 years old and is entering Uni soon... see? Even Rae oso going to start coll d... really fast. Then he said :” ya lo...(smile).. though grandma cant really see us entering uni.. but at least she knows we are entering uni when she left for good.. rite? We were prre-U student le!!!” haha...
Overall.. it’s not a bad night though... haha!!!
And Rae... she said about the influencing the great talk thingy... which i don’t think it’s true lo.. i’m really ok with it.. sorry if my face is ugly la.. haha!! but, i really hv nothing ler... just realized something... which is how mummy feels.. like i mentioned before in previous blog. Like i’ve told her, i wont disown her la.. unless she disown me la... wahahahahaha!!!! Which i don’t think it’s possible now.. i don’t think she needs to feel sorry also le.. she’d done nothing wrong, why feel sorry le? Is it because she dump me alone there? I don’t really mind la... as long as she’s happy, then ok d..Haiz.... even though she throw me into the dead sea or sink me in the mediteranean sea, i’ll still be there when she needs my help. See la.. who ask me to sayang her so much again???? Huh????
I dun wan a barrier to exist.... maybe i’m the one creating it, but i’m breaking it now. For sure, i don’t want a barrier...
I think i’ve learnt this from MuN.. he’s a great guy... the only guy who can tolerate everything.. EVERYTHING!!! U cant believe it... even me!! I’m really surprised by the way he thinks... as he always called me and sms me from NZ. Wow... i’m influenced by him... thoroughly. I guess ppl like us who get and learn things by hard wouldn’t mind about those small small things around us. Cuz we appreciate on what ppl give... we love other ppl and family more than ourselves. Not that we don’t love ourselves, just that.. comparatively.. we hope we could bring happiness to ppl surrounding us.. cuz if they’re happy, we’ll be happy.
That’s why... our conversation on the phone always last for at least 1 hour... if he calls me. Too bad, he’s unavailable now.. haha!
That’s why, i don’t really mind about things that are done to me.. and i don’t really think that Rae should feel anything cuz for me, nothing de la.. haha!dont worry... i’ll still be sticking around her.. like her nanny... (yucks.. i don’t want...)ha!
Basically, i’m ok... and will be going to subang area later. So.... hope everything goes fine la.
ok,that was yesterday nite.....
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