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Monday, February 28, 2011

may the peace be with you

Today, its just one of those days… where time passed by, day passes by.

Sometimes, i think i’ve lost the reason to hang on, but sometimes, i would love to stay as long as possible.

Ironic huh? this is my life.

 

Although decisions has been made, guiltiness still emerges.

All these days, I’ve learnt how to really hold on and hang on without giving up. Probably i’ve done it in my studies before but working is a different feeling. Responsibilities are heavier. I need to perform in order to stay.

Like i said, the stress and demand are different. Well, i’m more thorough now.

I’m facing a beast everyday. Everyday is a big obstacle and challenge for me, i need to overcome everyday’s challenge. The “best” part is, everyday’s challenge will be different.

The only constant is… my super “XXXX” boss. that’s all. hahaha!!!

 

I start to see things from a different point of view. Sometimes, it comes to my senses where i’m not a kid anymore, I’m already 23, almost 24. I need to start planning and working my career.

I tell you, it feels scary to have nothing at this age.

especially Money, Properties, and… relationship. Well, i’m not that thirst for relationship, but i’m thirst for my career. The only relationship i’m thirst for is the relationship with God. that’s all.

The fear is scary. 24 with nothing.

 

With God’s grace, i will walk the path that i wanna walk. I do have a vision of what i want to do and achieve. Still, everything needs to be at the right moment, the right time for it to happen. HE plans, and guides.  =)

 

I’m like a spoiled brat who is isolated away from the world of the ppl i love. The only thing i can do is phone calls, updates. Most of the time, it gives me warmth to hear familiar voices, sometimes, it hits me down because it is such a pathetic way to knw details about a person. I knw, all these are temporary.

The good thing is, i dont feel lonely over here, because of my accompany and my family here. (though its my uncle and aunt, they are both loving and kind to me).

you knw, How damn guilty i feel for not being able to be with my mum when my dad was admitted? my mum can’t drive at night, yet she drove to hospital everyday after work just to be with my dad. That time, i really wish that i can send her instead of her driving.

but Thank God, my parents are understanding of this situation. Thank God my dad has no serious complications.

Every morning, when i sit in the bus, thoughts of these will come to my head.. “the routine starts… how long can i hold on to it? how does people stand travelling 1.5hours to 2 .5 hours to work and spend another 2hours to go back from work?”

“is this what i want? what’s the point for doing all these when i have to sacrifice so much just for the temporary luxury?”

nah, these are just some silly thoughts of mine. Well, I sometimes do feel demotivated. Believe it or not, God will motivate me in HIS wonderful way everyday. He never fails to do so every single day.

 

I am now working towards my dream which is to work and travel in these months. =) see? If its God’s will, miracles will happen.

Don’t put a question mark when God puts a period. =)

What is life?

Life has a much bigger definition than what’s in your mind now. We are too small and tiny to view the meaning of life. We won’t knw what is life until we die. At least, after we die, we knw that we’ve lived our life. =)

 

I’m living my life, contentedly, meaningfully. Though its tiring, I’m still holding on.

I’ve learnt to open up myself, see things differently. I’ve made lots of friends with different knowledge and experiences which are worth for me to learn.

 

What i can say in a nutshell, the life i am living now will be a legend in my LIFE BOOK. =) That’s the story i’ll tell my offsprings. =)

 

 

Appreciate everything that you have now. don’t leave regrets in your life.

 

me? i have no regrets in doing what i’m doing now.

 

:)

 

May the peace be with you.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

very quick and short time on my girlfriend.

i have 10 mins before i am off to work.

 

Well, My oh my…. its been 11weeks. i have 11 more to go. I cant wait for everything to come, May!!! MAY!!! I cant wait for MAY! hahaha!!!!

What probed me to decide? I dunno, its just a thought. All of a sudden, i thought of the dates. Mmm….

So far, my job is good.I dunno, sometimes still fear, and stress, but i’m still overcoming it.

I’m getting tired physically when days passed. yeah, not easy, but yet, I’m going through this period, full of happiness. (trying to)

I have feeling to this song because Tenth North Avenue is just so professional that they actually sang out how i felt when i first being touched by Him. Without supports and approval, I was in fear, and sadness. In a nutshell, this song is sort of like a comfort to me, and a sum of my feelings.

enjoy, Tenth North Avenue-You Are More.

 

I’ve always loved their songs. Their worship songs are always sang from a different point of view.

 

Mmm, its been so long since i share songs in my post. haha… well, forgive me for my tired body. I can afford to surf the net but not blog every night when i reach home. =)

This is my life.. I gotto enjoy it before everything ends.

Gotto work hard for next sem, Beijing, Siam Reap! here i come!

 

I can’t wait for early May, i am getting a new baby!!! I still dunno which baby to adopt, and i dunno what name should i give yet.. pity me. hahahaha!!!!! Anyway, there will be a new family “member” coming soon!!!

curious??? wait till i get it ya! hehe….

 

ALright, 10mins has passed. Time to go, breakfast, then work!

 

Dad’s doing fine. It has been an emotional days. Thank GOD that my dad is healing and he is recovering.

 

Tk care everyone!!!

Saturday, February 19, 2011

updates.

DAys are passing by.. very very fast.

I’ve decided a path for myself, I’m walking it.

 

Everyday has been the same routine, just that everyday is a new challenge for me. Somehow, i wonder, how can a person be so inconsiderate and don’t treat their family, daughter, son, and wife the way it’s supposed to be?

Life is so unpredictable, why not appreciate their presence?

I am just so upset on how things supposed to be are not in a position where it supposed to be.

I need a doctor to bring him back to life.

 

I’ve learnt a lot of things, got through a lot of things, which i dont think i would share with anyone again. BAsically, its not good to keep reminding myself of the pain i’ve been through.

right?

now,i’m doing my best, i’m doing my part. I’m growing each day. The only thing i fear is the unwillingness to leave the place when the time comes. Funny eh, how painful it is, yet how unwillingly for me to leave.

 

owh, I’m getting more tired each day. Seriously, working life is so much different. I think those who are my age who are still studying won’t understand much. However, i still say, “appreciate study life, its the best moment in one’s life”

My dark eyebag is getting worse each day. I don’t knw why, i have more sleeps compared to what i had during exams. yet…. my eye bag just grew darker.

=)

 

Kuen is never the same. Dellynn is never the same. I mean, i’m mentally more mature. I realize that i’ve learnt and grow, and i’ve proved to myself that i can still survive without my anchor. Well, just place the anchor to another shore, tht’s all!

Somesay i’m far sighted, yes, I am. BEcause I’m sick of doing the same thing all these while. Since i’m still young, i opt to step out of my comfort zone just to train myself up to be a tougher, and better person.

To earn money is never easy, it takes a lot to sacrifice.

But what i’ve learnt so far,  “put your whole heart in when you are doing a task, if you’ve started it, finish it beautifully.”

leave no regrets.

 

of course, one has to be responsible to his/her job.

 

God has been with me for the past month. So many miracles that i couldnt type it in words. Seriously, so many miracles has happened on me. From the first day till today…. I’ve never been abandoned. When i feel like giving up, HE gave me a direct msg not to give up. HE sent me my manager, who is like my elder brother, to guide me through all these, and to teach me what is it like to take responsibilities.

Well, I’m not a very responsible person, I’m scared of responsibilities. But now, I start to learn and take responsibilities of bigger things. Staffs, stuffs, sales… haha… a lot more.

Like i said, life is never the same.

all these that has happened will be a precious lesson and a precious memory to me.

trust me, I treasure each day more, as each day has a different challenge, a different story.

My prayers everyday is to have a satisfied, fruitful, and peaceful day. I’m doing my very best each day to improve myself. A lot of unexplained things happened, I would describe it as God’s grace, and mercy. I was and am never alone.

Life away from my family makes me realize that i can be independent on my own. Honest speaking, i don’t miss home that much, but i do miss my home’s food. =) probably, i feel like i’m home everyday. Thanks to my aunt and uncle.

 

Nothing ever changes. myself, my faith, me…  I might sound different, i am still me. Just that i’ve grown mentally.

Working life makes me realized that how overprotected my parents were. Yeah, they are very protective of me. However, this time, when i go back, it’ll never be the same again. =) They know that i can be on my own now. =) yeah, they realize it. haha.

 

Time flies, i dunno why it passes by so fast. It was so dreading slow last month. hahaha!!!!

 

by the way, i miss burgers. I dunno why. Have cravings for burgers…. especially the one in Penang, Post Burger! the best!

 

Pen off!

gonna sleep early today. Tired. yeah, my legs and eyes are tired.

 

Good night peeps!!!!!!!!!!

 

Bro, u made me jaw drop! you stupid! LOLs!!!

 

P.S: RAhell Ngiam, you are welcome again!! the prawns!!! i miss your noob expression!!!! hahaha!!

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Another off day of mine.

My neck is stiff and pain.

Went to a meditation session with my family just now, well, i think i totally went to another stage of meditation---> SLEEP. hahaha!

It was a great session, and out of the 3 sessions of meditation, i slept for 2 sessions, and i had deja-vu. I dreamed of what the speaker speak, and when i woke up, he spoke EXACTLY what he speaks in my dream! ITs true!!!!

 

So, let me update some pieces of me.

I thank God for IVan, my manager. His presence made me grow into another person. I think without him, i wouldnt have go through the difficulties i have.

Wilson, my lao3 da4, has taught me lots of technical stuff! and i’m so damn interested in technical stuff! Well, i tried to learn up as much as possible!!!

Thanks to my freaking boss who made me stronger and has made my wisdom grow. Because, i’ve learnt today that i have to be compassionate to everyone, eventhough control freaks. When they appear, it will give us the chance to test our limits and test how compassionate we are, and gives us the chance to see the difference between both of us.

Raine Ang, this siu mui mui…. haha!! i’ve learnt a lot from her, and she’s just 19. Without her, my day will be so damn boring!!!! GAmbate!

Janice, a young lady who is with me ever since the first day i’m here. We’ll work to a better future! (i mean at work)

John, a person where Ivan claims that my characters are similar to him! HE is a nice guy, someone which i have so much to learn from besides the rest i’ve mentioned above. =)

Benjamin, big boss’s son. Totally different from his father. He has a good character, except for a slightly bad temper. A STAR i would say! he is a smart kiddo!

DAphne, Secondary school kid. Still a kiddo, anyhow, great to knw one more person!

Candy, boss’s wife, the nicest ppl on earth! I respect her patience! respect her woek attitude, respect her role as a wife, as a boss’s helper!

 

 

just heard a biggest joke of the year, UCSI Pharmacy faculty cancelled all classes to launch post graduate programme!

damn.. dean still as “SAMPAT” as ever.

 

 

my stomach aching now.. thanks to the SANTAN kakak cooked. =_=”

 

My eye bag is getting worse each day.

 

PPL! I miss you guys!!!

 

Lastly, I thank GOD for everything! without HIM, i wouldnt have go through HELL! cuz basically, everyday is a HELL for me.

 

Time to go off, will update soon!!!!!! probably on my next off day, which will be next Wednesday. =)

 

Ciao ppl! tk care!

Thursday, February 03, 2011

CNY and Miracles. Thank you .

Its been such a long time since i've touched my blog. Yeah, those who knw me, they knw i'm busy. So, in short, I'm busy earning money.haha!!

Its the first day of CNY! Its my YEAR! Before i start packing my stuff, let me just blog a while.

I was back from SG (Sg=Singapore, not SUa GU, haha!) yesterday, Met my Sorpor! how i missed our outings though! Eventhough it was just both of us, i feel blessed to have her with me, spending the day with her. Erm, she is still as childish as ever. Good news! she is trying to stop and cease her "stomping" action!!! Well, Not sure whether she'll read this, but i am really happy to meet her and the rest of her family yesterday!!!!! SorPor!!! All the best in everything! i'll see u again real soon!!!
Thanks to her as she updated me with all the stuffs and all the happenings around those familiar faces! Another SorPor from Ayer TAwar, hahaha!!! Glad to hear about her though! =P
PS: i knw all about you eventhough i'm not there. HAHAHA!

So the next time i see them will probably be end of May. yeap! God knws!

This Chinese New year, It reminds me of Aunty Jane's words. Well, she is one of the influential person in my life. I feel blessed that i did not disobey or do whatsoever stuff that are against my parents. Erm, some ritual stuff, I have to follow, CNY, no one wants commotions and unhappiness.
Well, its hard to be the only one. yeah, THE ONLY ONE!
Datin asked me whether i have distant relatives who is of my footsteps, i had a deep thought of it, from my mum's side to my dad's side relative, they are NONE!

I'm happy for who i am.

Life in SG has opened my eyes to His glory. Every single sales that i've got, its His glory. U cant imagine how i struggled through. Not easy, its tough.

U wont understand how much i've suffered through and there are times that i wanna give up! but... Lord has never left me and yet he showed me that i shouldnt give up.

A few days ago, i was pissed by my boss,I was crying the whole night till i fell asleep, Yeah, was feeling stressed. i feel like giving up immediately. That night, tears are my accompany. Cried after work til i reach home, and slept with it. Msged AL, i broke down. The next morning, I had a simple prayer compared to other days. I wasnt fed up, just that i was jaded. So, i was on my earphone, not listening to worship songs but i was listening to ordinary pop (which i dont do it everyday cuz morning is HIS time. =) ). There's this guy who stood in front of me, i did not notice him. By the time i noticed him, i saw his printing on his shirt. The printing goes like this...

No matter what is going on,
Never Give up.
Develop the heart,
too much energy in your country is spent developing the mind instead of the heart.
Be compassionate,
not just to your friends,
but to everyone.
Be compassionate, 
Work for peace,
in your heart and in the world.
Work for peace,
and i say again,
never give up.
No matter what is happening,
No matter what is going on around you,
Never Give UP.

Believe it or not, i typed all the words in my phone's draft. By the time i finished copying the last word, The guy left to the SBS transit instead of CAuseway Link. Co-incidence? to some, maybe. but to me, its not.

I was amazed, from the moment i saw the printing.
I give thanks immediately.
By the way, my QT has changed from the toilet to my journey to work. I find it more comfortable with it, having QT while i am on my way to work. It somehow gives peace in me.

See, I was and am never alone. If it wasnt Him who carried me through, i wouldnt have lasted till now. That's why, a part of me wants to give up, but my inner voice asks me not to. Thanks to HIM.

I knw that this year is going to be a good one.

Just done with family prayers. I wasnt contributing to anything though. hahaha!!!

This Rabbit year, I wish all of you a prospoerous one.

My pumpkin, dun really knw since when u are a part of me, but i knw that my life has never been the same with you and your family around me.
You are one great sista of mine. I've always got you.
Thanks for being a part of me, and we both understand that we literally grew through a lot of things. =) Love you lots. I miss u every moment....

Thank God that He sent a bunch of great ppl in my life.  =)

I'll never give up... on anything. and YOU.


PErhaps, this is the first time i blogged about how tough life is in SG. =) trust me, this is not all... yet.

Anyhow, i'm gonna conquer it.

and... pray for me. =))


Have a blessed RAbbit year!!!!!!

Till then! will update soon!


# For YOU alone deserve all glory.#
Faithful..... you are, and i am.