okay, I’m seriously busy this week.. so, this is a short update from me. By the way, I had a great weekend, minus off the silence part lar.. k? So, I spent my days studying, non stop, marathon. I can only fork out some time to blog.
so, i went to Sher’s hse yesterday, as usual la, morning and night become very important to us.. we have to complete and sit on the chair from morning till night.. in exact, midnight.
This is what they do when the Cha bor is bored. She “kills cockroaches”. oooh… JT’s phone has a few games, one of them is a game where cockroaches came out and we have to kill it as fast and as many as possible. NICe GAME!!! I still hold the high score. haha!!
Killing cockroaches… happily!!!
Coackroached come out and we have to press to kill it. so, it’s fingers dancing on the screen. LOL! =)
Whole process was funny, cuz she “wo, woo wah wah.. woooi!!! “ aiyo, playing with sound effects!!! haha!!
soon after that, she is addicted to SPORE. sigh… this girl, never ending. =)
Well, today is another battle. I’m starting my battle in short.
I am tired, but i am not defeated. I knw i can conquer it.
Okay, off i go!!!!
Thanks to my stupid PIPE BOCOR that i have to skip morning class and the precious HOSPIS TALK today! ARggh..
Owh, i woke up early in the morning, around 4am.. cuz my room was flooded! I did not expect it to flood tht serious as i had already cleaned up the mess yesterday night when i came home after class. Yeah, that time, it has already flooded, and i’ve cleaned twice.
First time, i thought it was the rain, so i mopped the floor. Few hours later, it flooded again!! i find the source, it was from a stupid tiny hole from the edge of the wall on the floor. So, i suspected it was from the bathroom… i turn off the main bathroom water supply..
Due to tiredness, i slept.
Woke up at 4am, shocked!! cuz like i said, muh small room was flooded!.. AGAIN!!!! i woke up, and.. my hsemate said… “ Kuen ar!! HSe flooded!!!”
I was shocked to SOBER. I went out to the living room, true enuf, FLOODED with WATER!! worse still, the kitchen as 1 inch of water!!WAter leaked in from no where!!! gosh…. and the wall in my washing machine space was wet. So,.. yeah, the pipe burst! Luckily hsemate is smart enuf to off the main water supply.. if not, my room will continue to flood. So, it’s because of the pipe, and the water diffuse through the cavity wall, and into my room.
Called the management and my hse owner at 730am. Sorry to wake her up… haha!! anyway, the management ppl agreed to fix it, but at the price of Rm130. After dozens of phone calls, agreement has been achieved and yeah, Management guy fixed it.
They break the wall, and test the leakage. True enuf, the PVC pipe bursts. Serious leakage….
He continue breaking the wall and check for other leakage. Apparently, tht’s the only one. He replaced the pipe and glue it to dry.
That time, it was already 315 pm….
Gah….
I was so tired.
The management guy will cement the wall back 2mr morning. So…. Mmm…
I believe that everything happens for a reason, i’ll let the reason be loved. I believe that i might be saved from some other things by going through the havoc today. So… strengthens my faith actually. =)
So, My hse water pressure has been reduced.. (yeah, i guess they reduced it.. at last.cacat brats who denied they increased the pressure last WEdnesday) good though. Pipes wil last longer. =)
I still went for the last class, at 6pm. In fact, i went to Uni earlier. =) Just to shit and pee…. hahaha!! yeah, imagine, no water supply for the whole day….
--------------------------------------=============-------------------------------------
After class, a bunch of buddies went to have dinner. We chatted for 2 hrs. haha!! it was a big laughing session! =) cuz all of us laughed like crazy. =)
I had a great time…. gossiping! muahahaha!! even guys gossip… believe it?
Itulah kehidupan… sobagai seorang individu yang alami stress setiap hari! =)
Every single day, i pray and thank God for blessing me with such great and supportive friends. =) I thank God for my faith. =) I don’t regret for choosing. =)
My Pamelo is coming back!! i cant wait for my iPOD~!! haha.. nah, i cant wait for the McD breakfast this SUnday 6am!!! hahahah!!! I’m bad huh? I don’t care.. hmmph…
okay, time to sleep!! gotto wake up earlier to kiss my notes. =)
Today is a blessed day. Tiring, but i feel blessed.
Class non stop from 8am to 730pm. 2mr is the same routine, class till 730pm.. haha!! What kind of study break is this??? sigh….
However, 3 girls made me smile today.
First girl, Aeris.
She sent me a very beautiful message. I appreciate it very much. One thing’s for sure, I’m surrounded by a bunch of great friends. Aeris, you are one of them. Although we always fight with our mouth, haha… but most of the time we don’t mean that, we just find it fun to be that way.
It reminds me of someone who told me : “wah, ur friends no bau perempuan punya?”
I din reply cuz i dun wanna hurt the person, deep in me, i told myself, “the most important is the heart.. the rest, gah.. screw it”
Sei Yea!! Narcolepsy girl! muahaha’!!
Second girl, DAtin REd
Third Girl, Eliz.
What have they done????
can u locate the similarities between the 2 pics??? Look at the black mold!!! hahaha!! on the left side of the forehead!!!
yeah, tht’s her MARK. =)
Eliz drew the first pic, i took the second pic. muahaha!!
see the similarity?? Now, dun look at the mold, look at the teeth!!!
LOL!!!!
Datin RED added the PETALING STREET CIPLAK EAR RING,purple colour summore… super DATIN!! then the non-spherical PEARL NECKLACE plus a big, HEAvy, high CARAT CROSS!!! hahaha!!
So good huh? she imagined herself this way….. summore purposely BOLD the GOLD CROSS!!!!
Picture says it all!!! tht’s why, this pic turns into…………
God loves us no matter how we look like..
BROWN COLOURED DATIN RED, yeah, she is DARk.. with a *KEEP-DREAMING* half blond hair!! (hope she’s not a dumb blond la, though she looks like one..)
LOL!!! Eliz drew the MOLDED DATIN, Sher DREW the side characters and labeled one of them as CHICKEN. Well, according to her, the chicken suppose to be me…. cuz i call her chicken, and she called me chicken BACK! sigh… Damn cute la!! DAtin RED!
both of them Happily design the MASTERPIECE! =)
I had a great time laughing and singing like mad in the computer lab. Thanks to both of these JAKUNs la! =) hahaha!!!
Sei yea (si pat por), that was sweet of you. =)
Silence can be valuable; dont break it unless you can improve on it.
reading OUR DAILY BREAD and the Holy book has calmed me down more than ever. Yeah, the power of God and prayers. =)
For now, all i can do is keep silence. I’m going to improve on it, tht’s why i am not breaking the silence. To listen and learn are the most important criteria to improve myself, emotionally and spiritually.
My first step was brought out by the almighty, and my follow up steps .. I will be walking with a lot of people. I am blessed.
I’ve come to a point to realize that all these will be over soon. I’ll leave all my tears behind, cuz i knw everything which will be coming up will be amazing, than ever before.
In this matter, silence is still the most valuable thing. Until the day i’ve proved that i am not what i was, I will not break it.
Sin against the one i love will be washed away. Like i said, I have the victory, I’ve won. i’m taking my baby steps, believe it or not, i feel safe now.
I hope today is the last day i drop my tears. my heart is healing. Thank God, he made me strong.
I don’t regret. I am more thrilled because my eyes are open now. Amazing things can happen and it is happening on me.
The coming tears i’ll shed is the tears of joy.
This Jeremy Camp song—WALK BY FAITH played while i am typing the last sentence… Power of coincidence. =) haha!
“well i will walk by faith
even when i cannot see
because this broken road
prepares your will for me”
Silence has been the only words i speak since Sunday. Yesterday was worse, it’s a total silence language.
I feel heavy to say a word, Maybe deep in me, i knw that whatever i say, it doesnt make a stand anymore. So, i decided to keep silence. i dunno how long i will be in this state, but i think it’s going to be long.
My teeth is extremely pain now. I was awaken by the pain, and the heat of the weather, plus a call from Pamelo. owh, he still wakes me up.
Again, i seriously couldnt recognize my voice.
Sher offered her ears, i feel blessed. cuz i am surrounded by a bunch of besties. I think she is the irst and only one who noticed me. =) Sher, thanks for the offer. You’ve been a wonderful friend, joker + listener to me… I’m still fragile, tht’s why i am still a keeper. =) Loves… =)
I’m mending things. Need time.
okay, 4 in the morning, time to bath and study.
my eyes that bad??? ya, i knw, it was bad.. besides overslept, i think I’ve “overused” it yesterday. =) Sorry friends, I prefer not to talk about it. A part of me still very very fragile when i think about it. Even tears filled my eyes during class… but, thank God, no SOBbing. =)
Things are going to be better. I always believe that.
Like what i’ve been told, I’ve won, and i dont need to fight back.
“Age to age”.. I’ll take that as a promise of you for me and a promise of me to you.
In me you’ll be… as long as my soul is alive.
Tears has been the only water that washed my face yesterday. I don’t wanna talk about what had happened, but there are things that are definitely harder than than anything else in this world. Thank God, her prayers healed me.=)
Chean called from Singapore just to hear me cry for one hour. I couldnt stop myself from crying and i let go myself when she called. She asked me not to hold back any tears, let it go. I did. I burst like no body else… She just listened…. and be there for me.
How on earth can anyone else get a best friend like her?? I am blessed to have her listen to me and have her get my heads clear of what’s happening. She showed me a lot of things…
I stop sobbing after a while.. nah, not a while, the whole conversation was around 1.5hours. My crying part already lasts for almost an hour.
She talked to me, and showed me what’s happening. Automatically, I stopped sobbing and listen to her. Besides, my tears were dried eventhough i am still sobbing.
the details of the conversation,I’ll keep it to myself. =) so wonderful that I was healed right after the conversation. I woke up with a strong heart this morning, the wounds are sealed. Her words and prayers were so strong.. and i calmed down.
I’m going to mend things, make things right, and tone down.In this Kingdom of love, I will walk out of this dark tunnel and find light. =)
Chean, if u’re reading this, Thank you so much. My journey will be tougher than before, I still need you to walk with me…. =) I really appreciate what u’ve done for me.
I will not lose hope, i will not lose faith. For all that had happened, I will be strong.
i finally understand wht is the feeling of having suicidal thought..
I’ve finally understand how does it feel like to cry whole day long, and havent even stop for a minute.
I’ve finally understand how does it feels like to have no chance to strive for what they want..
I’ve finally understand what is the feeling of being scolded and asked to get lost by the one you love.
I’ve finally understand the toughness of being loved.
I’ve finally understand how does a broken heart feels like..
I’ve finally understand the feeling to be told who i am and what i ought to be.
I’ve finally understand the feeling of numbness emotionally…
I’ve finally understand how does it feels to be so un-belonged.
I’ve finally understand how does it feels to hurt the one you love and to be hurt by the one you love…
Perhaps, i shall be a deaf,dumb, blind puppet who do whatever i am asked to do.
I’ve finally understand the feeling of non stop tears flowing through the cheeks without any reasons…
I hate myself. If and only if death is the solution……
okay, yesterday was a blast.. cuz…. we had this drinking session where Eliz bought a bottle of wine instead. hahah!!!! =)
So, the night started off at 12am. =)
so yeah.. these are the partners and victims of DRINKING NIGHT! haha!
We played blackJack,we took turns to be banker, and whoever lose, will take shots of wine!! =) hahaha!! this is fun!!!
DAtin Red turned REALLY RED after a few shots.. (yeah, she kept losing and having TOAST to herself most of the time). LOL! Pity Eliz, there’s none of the rounds that she doesn’t need to drink!! (bad Feng Shui!! damn proven!), Bain,cool guy, get lightheaded after a few shots. =) waliao!!! Kuen? aiya…. Wine is nothing to HER. LOL!
Merlot wine. NICE! =) haha!!! the glasses are the SHOT GLASSES. =)
the whole freaking night, she was trying to get the best shot of the WINE BOTTLE ANGLE.. k la, forgive her, she was drunk. LOLs!
I dunno how i get this shot… haha!!! Fugly… hahah!
keep drinking, keep drinking…… LOLs!!
I guess i was kinda lucky yesterday. =) cuz… i did not drink that much shot… haha!! FEng SHui huh? Eliz???
BAin showing some magic skillz…. HE is a big time gentlemen. =) and a nice guy to hang out with. =)
Eventually, HER Face, HEr chest, is the same colour as her SHIRT and her mini Dolly Perkin’s bag at the back. hahaha!! She was SO DAMn RED!! Feeling FIre Burning HOT on her face!!! =)
can’t really see how red she is in the pic, but.. seriously she was very very RED! =)
and the funny thing is, she talks non sense and laughed non stop. LOL!!!=)
Pouring SHOTS. =) hahaha!!!!
So.. that was our wonderful night. =)
I think eventhough its only 4 of us, we had fun!! we shall have the HARD LIQOUR GAME after finals!!!! =) hahahahaha!!!!
My reaction towards wine.. nah, I’m a cool girl who doesnt knw the feeling of getting drunk and hangover. Cuz i’ll never have one. LOLs!!!!!
I think 3 of them had fun!!! =) and i had fun too!!!! =)
Wonderful night, WOnderful wine, WOnderful nonsense laugh, wonderful ppl EQUALS TO WONDERFUL LIFE.
Going back in the afternoon!! YAY!!!! =)
Study break and study marathon starts. BUCKLE UP! GET SET!!! ZZZZZZzzzzzzzZZZZZZZzzz Snore first…. hahahahhaha!!!
shootted my mugging technique on some notes!! “poof poof”!!
“DAmn, she is bulletproof….” In love with iyaz and Jason Derulo, their songs are just brilliant!!
I knw that it’s FIFA season.. okay, i didnt really knw it till Sher told me a few weeks ago that FIFA has started!!! so, she sent me the FIFA theme song immediately!! hey, i love this song!!!
The version i had in muh phone is just K’naan version only. The video above is K’naan with DAvid Bisbal! anyway, it’s nice too!! =)
So, FIFA started. I’ve heard all the comments from the media, from my friends.. from everyone!! how good is this team, how bad is that team… LOL! Ah Kuen is literally not interested in balls but she supports Arsenal? hahaha!!
I am much an ignorant girl? hehe… nah, I read on Footballs news too… Mmm… if and only if the picture on the newspaper attracts me!! haha!!!
-----------------------=====================----------------------------------
can i repost this again??? from SHer..
“I am being a goodie girl.. staying at home tonight!”
hahaha!! =)
I miss Black Magic roti canai now… =) knw that i have no chance to eat it this weekend. =) Mmm…. I have more important task to complete this weekend. =) haha!!! It’s again a lot of emotions to deal with. Sooner or later, i have to face this. *biting lips* – I’m scared.
The fear is there, yet the courage is there too. Contradicting…~~
It’s true that at the turning point of life, there are so many things to deal with. First is Emotion, second is family, third is your own determination, what comes fourth? yeah.. it’s how you present yourself in the future after the decision been made at the turning point. =)
Well, i still believe that i will get through this. =)
My dear houssie was being sad and disappointed. Mmm… will pray for him as well, i hope he has get over the sadness and move on. =) He is such an intelligent guy. =) I’m sure that he can do it. =)
As i said in earlier post, today is a peaceful day to me, despite of the disasters… gah, i’m facing it now. =) hehe… nah, I’m fearless. I knw i can do it. =)
So, i hope that your day is as good as mine.
“When you reach the end of the rope, tie a knot and hang on”
Typical quote from Chean. Love her lots!! i miss her too… U need to understand it well… =) it has different meaning to different individual. =)
Okay, the rumors of Ms Penny is leaving is getting more and more. Just like i predicted??? hahaha!! nah, I dun think she will read my blog. Anyway, just wanna dedicate this paragraph to her :
Ms PeiNee, You have been a wonderful lecturer. I dun really knw the reasons why you are leaving, but if it’s because of the Mother, i understand. Where ever you go, i wish you all the best. Good luck in your future undertakings. I’m sorry if I’m wrong about you leaving… however, quite sure that i’m right, cuz u’ve been acting kinda different this sem.(based on how u’ve performed last few sems) =) Needless to say, u are one lecturer who had fought for student’s right. Even though u’ve failed to succeed in debating with Mother, dun worry. We knw who cares and who doesnt care for us. WE, generation Y is always different from Generation X. haha!! i’m sure Dr Lim would bow his body down to this statement. Keep being active in FB ya!!! Best regards. =)
End-of-my-post.
nites peeps!
Can’t wait for 2mr night!!! will be having a superbly fun drinking session!!! haha!! time to GET DRUNK! =)
I feel like a potato! Gosh…. the potato name of mine came true today! sigh.
What happened huh??? I ate the best Dim Sum in Sri Petaling today!! especially the chicken nest pau! hahahah!!!
then.. i watched movie till NOW!!!! doing nothing!!!! I am really worry-free despite of what happened just now. Mmm…
time just fly, i had no regrets doing what i did. I just sit in front of the laptop, watch movies, FB… hahaha!! what a life. yeah, it would be my last day doing this. Tonight, I’m starting my battle. =) yeah!!! tonight is a long good night! =)
Watched INDECEDNT PROPOSAL, American Idol, and Shrek 3!! woohoo!! i love the idols this week!!!! they are awesome!!! =)
I’m gg back this Saturday!! yay!
So, This Sunday is a bless…
I’m having a great day!!!! I hope you too!
------------------------------------====================================------------
I’m rotting at home… rotting, as in ROTTING. haha!!!!
and i enjoy this kind of life….. and i knw it cannot last long. =)
Peepsie! have a nice day!!!
FEarless… in me.
There is why i undergo all these. I knw… I won’t give up easily. For sure. =)
I finally understand what does REDEEMED means. Seriously, i don’t quite understand it last year, but now… i knw it well. Yes, I am redeemed! =)
Thank God for a wonderful day. Okay, i literally screwed up my QA paper by crapping through the answers.. however, my confidence is not shaken. Actually, i have nothing to fear, I’m just going to do my best, that’s all. =)
My life as a student, Mmm…. quizzes just ended today. I am Quiz free but i have finals to prepare. =) haha!!!! I can’t believe that next week will be my last week in Klang! How do i feel? I do have a number of ppl whom i wanna meet these 2 weeks. =) I hope everything goes fine la.
I still cannot believe that my journey has been so far so wonderful. Nothing is impossible…
I do hope that my dear Aunty J will help me out on this… if she happens to see or read my previous posts.
I’m in an extremely lazy state today. Nah, i’ve decided to have a stress-free day.. Just for today. =) 2mr, My battle for my finals will start. No time to waste though. =)
The preach of the WORM story still ringing in my head. =0 owh, i dunno why. It kept reminding me that i have to be humble for everything and love everyone. =)
-0------------------====================--------------------------
LAck of sleep has been part of my life. It happens frequently this sem. Gah… how i wish i have 40 hours a day.haha!!!
Till today, i still feel that they are trying to avoid the conversation with me. Owh, i need to love them to understand me.. Not understand them to love me. Perhaps, this is a light path that i get?
Sometimes, i don’t really understand how does things work for me. Holy Spirit huh? yeah, probably! Anyway, i knw that there is a purpose why am i being called. owh, i’ve been loving myself and my father even more than ever. =)
---------------======================----------------------------------------------
I’ve watched a movie on pps, so far for my time out. I hardly have time for movie, alone. Perhaps, If no one wants to watch with me this weekend, I would like to experience it again… Movie alone..
Gosh, if Ms Red sees this, she will say “ YOu DON”t NEED TO DO EVERYTHING ALONE, OKAY!!!” haha!!! She is acting DAMN CUTE these few days. =) and she hates ppl calling her cute. LOLs!
It’s true, I’ve been doing things alone. okay, come on and stand on my shoes.. how can i not do things alone?? I dont wanna ring or text anyone just because i am lonely or just because i have nothing else to do. Perhaps, I am being too independent.. and it turns out to be not a good thing.
Anyway, i am not always lonely. Or should i say, i am not lonely. =) thanks to My beloved AL who texts me almost every single day, regardless saying good night, or good morning. (hey gal, love you lots). I think, emotional wise, me and her are the same type of person. woohoo…. knw me well to understand this la! =)
see? sometimes its because of the sense of being at home makes me laze. Home is always the best place to hide. haha!! nah, i don’t hide, i just like spending time at home.
I have this week to settle my unsettled problem. I hope everything goes fine. I will take it slow… it reminds me of some quote :" “ GOD did not do everything in one day, what makes you think you can?”
Yeah, slowly.. no rush Kuen! –=)
Its 9pm. nice hour to watch another movie and sleep. Spare me for a day! =) I need a recharge. =) If not, I’ll go cuckoo!
okay, its time for me to end this post.
P.S : I just love walking with him…. it makes me feel safe. I’m so in love!!! haha!!!!
P.S.S: iPod!!! iPOD!!!!!!!
Quick update, slept at 330am. GOSH! Phone batt died off and i literally studied at Ms. Red’s place till 3am… sobs…
She asks me to wake up at 5am and wake her up, haha!! i refuse to.. anyway, i cannot wake up also. Well, I’ve decided to wake up at 730am. Here i am, washed up, clean and fresh! =)
I am so damn lack of sleep! Class till 3.30pm today. Mmm…. I seriously wanna sleep through the whole day after quiz!!!
okay la, just a quick update, wanna brainstorm before i go to class later. =)
Peeps, happy day ya!!
God bless all of you!!
Mmm, downloaded some songs yesterday, from HILLSONG again!! gosh, the 2009 album is nice!!!! I still like this kind of worshiping songs rather than RAp, Rock, Pop.. ok la, although they are not bad, but… it’s too shallow to me. The things that they wanna portray in the song is too shallow. I still love HillSong and Chris Tomlin kind of songs~!! =)
Time to go off!! Mug again. =)
P.S : He shall reign…Yahweh. Cool one from HS! =)
Those who knw me well, I love Taekwondo very very much and it has been part of my life. Now, I am an assistant instructor and waiting for the right time to start my very own class.
how do i start this sport? I started since i was Standard 4. That time, Brochures were circulating around, so I took the brochure back and showed my parent. My parents thought that it will be good that if ME, a girl know how to defend myself, and for a better health. Of course, another alternative thought of them, so that i can lose weight. Owh yeah, i was very very plum, or should i say FAT? haha!
My association is World Taekwondo Association, the only association that Olympic approved. Yeah, Olympic practices WTF’s poomse (taegeuk) or patterns, and sparring according to WTF rules.
So, i started with white belt, passed all the way through.. Yellow belt (Taegeuk 1 and 2), Green Belt (Taegeuk 3 and 4), Blue belt (TAegeuk 5 and 6), and Red belt ( Taegeuk 7 and 8), Black belt (1st dan, Koryo, 2nd dan-Kyong-gang, and 3rd dan,Taebek).
I still rmbered the first day i signed up with my brother. Both of us were newbies.. we grow and pass together. =)
So, i am now in my 20s, TAekwondo has been with me for more than 10 years now. Along the way, I met a lot of people and they have became my fighting buddies now.
About the training, it has never been easy. All the stamina build up, running, practicing kicks, the poomse… the wins and loses…
anyway, Training sessions are the sessions i enjoyed the most. If not, why would i still continue it? eventhough I am here, pursuing my degree? =)
These are my pals that i’ve made, we’ve known each other since we’re young. =)
My partners. I like sparring with them.
Owh, I am the eldest (seniority wise) over there, before they joined, i always have guys as my sparring opponent. =)
After getting my black belt, i start pursuing my interest as a referee. I am a STATE REFEREE too. =) I am now attending competition as a judge, and am going to pursue for NAtional Referee soon. =)
this is the team of referees. =)
this is what we do…. =) a judge in a competition, and a person who make sure that the match is fair. =)
Taekwondo actually helps me to build my confidence, and my attitude. I never give up easily without trying. This attitude of mine, i build it true failures, pain, and injuries that i had during training. Besides, my stamina is never ordinary. My size is a bit plum than others, but i have a fit stamina. =)
TAekwondo builds me. This is definitely a truth. The toughness in me was built over time. =)
Well, you will always need this to prevent sweaty sweaty sensation. =)
Project Alpha Season 2 is presented by Adidas Action 3 and supported by P1 and MAS.
I just cant concentrate. After this post, I’m gg to just off everything and MUG!
I was in a not that good condition this morning. I practically ZONE OUT!! My mind was wandering. haha!!!
So, Yesterday was a turning point in my life. Today, i woke up, a voice in me asking me not to give up. =)
Things change, people change. however, for better of course. I have confidence that i am going to convince and prove to them. I am not afraid. You might think that this is just another friend’s influence, but let me make this clear. This is HIS influence this time. I knw, i knw. Deep in the heart of you still hope that i’ll turn back, or be who i used to be.
Since we were young, we weren’t being brought up in a strong faith family, so now, for once, let me pursue what i want. =) For my sake, I knw that you will be understanding enough to see and feel how i feel. I knw how you feel,You might feel disappointed and keep asking questions like WHY? HOW? WHEN? but.. my feeling is so strong that i couldnt stop myself from denying this feeling anymore.
Do you not think that i tried to move back? That period of time, I really feel miserable cuz i don’t knw what am i, where am i.. where do i belong…
I really hope you will read this, which i think it’s impossible. If and only if you’re more sensitive about us.
Dun worry, this path is not a bad way.. Its just me, whom have found a way which i belong. I still love you like how i used to be, and now… I love you even more.
Where does my life leads to? I always believe that it is arranged. This week is another challenge to me.
I wanna hold on to this love. It is so true, amazing. Like i said, i love you very very much, so.. let me hold on for once, okay?
Without you realizing it, i am at the stage of adulthood and it’s time to decide where should i go, and where should i head to. If you are worried about me, don’t be. This is not a ROTTEN route.
Never in my life, my feeling is so strong. All i ask, is the permission for you to let me pursue what i want in life. =)
On the other hand, I’m starting another new journey. I am thrilled, as i am moving towards a way that my heart was lead to.
Okay, this is the last post that i express how i feel. I will purely update on myself on my next post. =)
](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhA7xas-cOGK8YeUCU_alUxxY55bsFOppehhGIgeXPMAW_2nMCNxgZFAWvb89P2SZLCvnSinqRJPEvg-7zDGLIdFUscvdQc1nX5pUV00JtHQKnlRyCr05qRXAlpz2mY8lfRnEsA6J-sF_2A/s1600-h/pure_heart_2_web%5B1%5D(3)%5B3%5D.jpg "pure_heart_2_web[1](3)")
Picture says a thousand words huh?? =) I agree. =)
P.S I Love you.
I wanna thank Chean for being so supportive on sharing her testimony with me. Love her lots as my blurrest ALO! =)
Honest speaking, i feel different today. --->ALIVE.
For me, things are changing bits by bits now. My faith, my journey, my future. but still, i will walk by faith.
It is really blessed to be loved. I need more time to prove to them and to share. Well, one thing’s for sure, my life will never be the same again.I am learning, still learning. This is just a test on how much i could hold on to my faith. I will not give up.
Okay, I want to write about the WORMs, Let me share something with you all.
We, humans are worms. WORMS are actually species which consumes everything around them when they’re in the soil, they take everything, use everything, and they don’t really contribute. Just like us. Cows contributes cheese, milk, meat, gee, fats.. Trees contribute fruits, bark, stem, leaves, oxygen, but us? we do not contribute anything at all. WE eat the cow, eat the fruits, drink their milk… okay, if Human were to contribute their milk to the cow, when the cow drinks it, it will die. So, what are human contributions??? We’re worms. Even worms feed on us. When there’s a body, the worms will change the body into fluid, worms will grow, until the body left skeleton. When the worms have nothing to feed, the worms consume each other. Big worm eats the small worm,and eats smaller worm.. at the end, one big fat worm left. The only worm then will perish and tht’s the end of metamorphosis. Can you relate it to us?humans? We consume things, consume anything around us.. until we have nothing left, we grab people, corrupt them, and “eat” them up,control them.. End up? we will still die with nothing carried with us. Just like a worm. That’s so much for the Human and worm.
however, We should learn from worms too, why? have you ever wonder why worms doesnt have names? Think of it, even dogs, cats, horses, cows.. have names, Worms?? Nothing!!! but… Worms are the benefiting species. When there’re worms, there’s life. Eventhough they dun have any names or status in the chain of nature, but they have the largest contribution. They fertililize the soil, they can turn rock into soil, they turn anything into soil. Worms are humble, arent they? they live deep down inside the soil, helping mother nature quietly without anyone noticing it…
When HE dies, He died as a scarlet worm. Scarlet worm is a worm which will pledge themselves on a bark, lay eggs, cover the eggs and die. When it dies, it became purple colour. So, the baby worms will feed on the scarlet worms body and grow as worms. (it means, Christ died for our sin so tht we’ll live) =)
Shouldnt we live like a worm? eventhough we dun have the status, names, Datuk, tAn sri, or whatever whatever, we still work and benefit the nation. Eventhough you have names, you will still die like a worm. Worms.. will still consume your body and what are you? You cant take your money, your fame, everything that you build with you into the soil.
So, Humans = worms'; Worms are creature that consumes everything around it, grab whatever that is beside it… tk and tk and tk, and consume. In return, worms actually benefit the nature by working the soil, turn everything hard eg. rocks into fertile land. As human, we shouldnt just take. We have to give as well. The more you consume, the more you have to give. The more you give, the better it is because the bigger the reward you’ll get.
Unfailing love of scarlet worm, so unreserved. died and feed the baby worms.
As a part of the nation, we have the responsibility to love others and contribute. =)
So, that’s much for my worm story. It actually acts as an eye opener to me and it makes me realize a lot of things. Scarlet worm’s love is just so true… =)
Blessed resurrection day everyone!
adapted from Ps.Henry. =) great one. =)
-----------------------===================-------------------------------------
For once, let me decide the path of my life. If i was given a choice, I will still walk the path that i’m walking now. =)
================--------------------------===========================
Owh…. Clash of the Titans, why do you suck? haha!!!!
P.S : AL, sorry for the FFK. I really couldnt meet you up. Movies next week perhaps? LOLs! (again, no promises). =)
P.S.S : I’m okay. =) no worries. Meals next week? =)
P.S.S : hey bro, have fun studying in Dungun! thanks for being so damn supportive!! You are one cute stupid fellow!!! who replied me “BRA” when i sent you “BRO…” sweat………….. haha!
I dunno how to put my day into words. I am definitely having a scary weekend. How on earth people can make something so innocent into words? I am seriously nauseated.
Today is the day that i break myself out. Thanks Ms. Red for the advise. My heart felt just so warm. I’ll take my time. Owh, I’ve met Mrs Andrina today!! Gosh, such a long time since i’ve met her. =)
A new day, a new life. =) Have a blessed resurrection day.
I’ve caused a lot of hurtings today. Why is it so hard to pursue what i want?
I seriously dunno what drives me, but there’s a sense of power, strength in me pushing me there. i felt it. I really felt it.
It’s a lot of feelings to me, seriously a lot.
I dont wanna do or see anyone else till i settle my stuff. I have to cut it clear once and for all. I might be cruel, but… yeah la.
This afternoon was crazy. Scared the shit out of me. I am in deep shit. It seems like everyone is avoiding each other. I am thinking of a way to present myself.. too bad, i dun quite knw my stuff!!! Tht’s why!!!!!!
I’ve pull out from meetings, outings today. I am so sorry to my friends. I hope you all understand my situation.
-----------------=======================---------------------------------------
Met Ju today, well… she is waiting for delivery. I am glad. I’ve thought of what to give this little baby. =) haha!! but it costs me a lot. Mmm… for his sake, i will give.=)
My cousin’s sis’s baby due on JUNE!! yay!! I wanna buy a lot of things for the baby, i always ask her to give me a niece or nephew, now.. I’ve got one!!! hahah!!!!
-----------------=========================---------------------------------
It’s weird. I can’t wait to go back to birdnest……
sigh…………………………..
“do not tk this as a hindrance, dun worry. tk your time. =)” – Datin Red.
tht’s why friends are very important.
-------------------=====================---------------------------
will be having a busy week. One more quiz to go before finals. Wish me all the best.
------------------=======================-----------------------------
Worms. WE are worms.
hard to understand? I’ll blog about it in my next post.. (hopefully my mood is still there)haha!
----------------------===========================------------------------------------
This is the Dobok I need now..I like this very much!!! The one that i’m using, it’s already old. It costs RM 250, buy online, by pay pal. haha!!! maybe I should get this as my bday present??? or my next year new year’s present. =)
ok, my objective.. to get one new ADIDAS DOBOK by this year if possible! YAY! Too bad, I dunno what size I’m wearing… I think size 5.. Mmm…. =)
Nike is too expensive. PINE TREE is cheap but not comfortable. Adidas, nice, elegance, affordable.
No life is without death, no life is without birth of course.
I am truly thrilled that something which i have been hesitating to do, I’m going to do it soon.It’s such a blessing.
Clearly, things are tougher than i thought. Seriously, it looks easy but it’s really so hard just to speak everything out. I plan to change my strategy, I’ll talk through action.
I don’t wanna live by name. I wanna live like I’m one of them, and be one of them. True to myself, true to our creation.
=)
I thought of something that we used to play when we were young and naive.
It’s about ranking your priority of life.
The question goes : How do you rank this in you life??
How do you rank them???
okay, I let you think for a while….
….
……….
……….
……..
……………….
…………………….
……………………………………..
………………………………………………….
ok… make sure you really think of it. You can repost it in your blog though. Just for the sake of recalling your childhood period. hahaha!!!
Mmm, after all i knw i knw… my ranking right???
why?
No GOD, no human creation. No Family, then the rest.. you wont have it. Everyone needs a place to rely on. You might say, family, or lovers, or food, or even something else. But to me, the one who really can show you the right way. the right path, is religion. In short, HIM.
That’s what i’ve realized so far.
You might not agree with me, but… I have the right to spread HIS teachings and words. I am more contented now… mentally and emotionally.
Pamelo, love you. Pumpkin, Love you. Both of you do well in everything ya. Non stop prayers will come from me to both of you/ =)
---------------------==============-------------------------------------
phuket, melaka, marathon, NOGAPS (AIMST), HERE I COME!!!!!!!!!
muahahahahah!!!!
I have the duty as an alarm clock today. so… good night peeps!!!
Never thought that the feeling will be different after accepting HIM. This is true. Ms. REd is right.
I feel different.
In fact, I had a great time yesterday. I wasnt really bother to answer any calls or any messages because I was concentrating on the performance and service. I still believe that one can only concentrate in one thing at a time. =)
Anyway, i manage to reply messages and calls after that.
LOL, I think JOSIE(i miss this name) did not expect me to go?? cuz Sher ain’t going?? hahahha!!!
It was Good Friday. I wanna thank CHIA WEN for being such a nice HOST to me. Seriously, She is a loving, caring girl. Her family is great too. Consists of great ppl. I Feel very very comfortable with her and her family. =)
So, i went to CHIA WEN’s HOUSE at USJ 4. haha!!! Met a few new frens, and they are really cute and funny. =)
Reached church around 8pm after having dinner at the MEdan, gosh.. that place serves nice THAI FOOD!
You coulnt believe it that the QUEUE in City Harvest Church (CHC) was so long!! So many ppl!!! haha!!! I went there for a few times d, but.. i think Yesterday was the longest queue. Well, Thank God that This year is the last EASTER in CHC old building. They are shifting soon to another building which is bigger and can fit 2k of ppl. =)
So, our night started with getting into the CHC hall. IT WAs so packed.. but we manage to squeeze in..THe best is.. we get to be at the very first row, infront of the band! =)
this is how near i am to them. haha!! I like it!
My beloved friends!~ =) Kah Kit and Chia Wen.
You knw who’s that in GREY? He is Anthony Zheng Wei Kang!! He sat in front of us after worshipping session. He is a faithful person. Every time i am there, he is always there. I think he is one of the leaders now. =)
Believe it or not, 颜婉蒨was there also. I didnt knw that she is one of the members there till yesterday. So, yeah la, so far for both of these Astro Star Quest winner. =)
see the crowd? Aeris and Sing Siang were at the very far end on top left. I’m kinda surprised that they came. =)
Start of the performance. =)
It’s a drama, big production on the meaning of EASTER.
This is only part of the scene. The whole drama was around 1 hour plus. It was great. Better than last year’s EASTER performance. =)
HE is in me…. always, for eternity. =)
I feel different, seriously different than what i was last year. AT least, I feel that HE has landed fully in me, I’ve opened the door for possibilities. =)
Easter is the resurrection and rebirth of Jesus Christ. HE has been sent by GOD and died for us, washed away all the SINS, show us that WE DESERVE GOD because HE sent Jesus down, the son of GOD, to show us that GOD=Salvation=eternity=no time constraint.
I’ve definitely benefited a lot from the service yesterday. Several times, HE touched my heart.
Thank You GOD for showing me the way and delivered the message to me.
I will learn.
--------------------------==================-------------------------------
once again, it is proven that the first decision is always the best.
(it still depends on situation ya!) hahaha!!!
Glad that mummy wants to come and see me, tht’s why I’ll be home a bit later. She wants to have lunch together with me in Cheras. =)
I think that this is a good opportunity. =) haha!!
Father and Mother, I Love You! =) that’s F.A.M.I.L.Y. I knw you guys are going to be with me regardless who am i and who i’ve become.
P.S : I had overdose on eggs yesterday… AGAIN! No more proteins!!! haha!
looking at my blogger draft, this is my 656th post since 2008. Mmm…. what a progress.
Today is GOOD FRIDAY, let me send a warm regard and wish to all the Christians out there…
Easter is a time of reflection and joy.
When we emerge from our cocoon
of doubt to fly freely
on the wings of faith.
May you be renewed and strengthened...
...in the promise of our Lord.
HAppy EAster day!! =)
-------------------------===================------------------------------------
Why am i not looking forward to everything? Gosh, i am psyched!!!!
This month is the month where everything starts. Again, i wonder, why am i on the list? I thought i was forgotten, till the extend that i lost my meaning on existing. Owh yeah, it was that bad. I almost made myself disappear. Believe it or not, I think i’m getting further away.. sort of like leaving on a jet plane. How can i chase myself back?
Is that everything that has been done made me feel this way? HOnestly, one more week.. just one more week… i will definitely walk away.. Walking away from something that i am familiar with, walking towards to something new for me.
I have no fate for the “one more week” instead.
I’m still glad that i actually “postpone” my plan to walk away. Anyhow, WHAT BECOMES OF A BROKEN HEART? haha!! mind me, i am not sad, just that there are certain things that had happened and i have to move on. =)
-------------------------------------=================-----------------------------
Owh, it’s GOOD FRIDAY! I hope i get to go to the EAsTer Celebration tonight!!!!! =) Well, let’s see then!!! =)
Beautiful Saviour, deliver us.
Good day ya’ll.
I’m abusing myself with Drug Abuse now. Mmm… the night is seriously cold and I’ve been FFK-ed by Ms Red since afternoon.
I think I’m going to sleep early today.. =)
Today, I’ve been wondering why our beloved Ms Wong has been so kind to us. YEs, in fact, she is the only lecturer that does THIS to us. Of course, i am thankful. I don’t know what others think or how they feel, but i think they are thankful to her too.
Seeing her doing all this makes me think of lots of possibilities. First, it might be that she is leaving soon. Tht’s why she wants to leave us with good grades.
Second, she is sick of the MOTHER! i wont say my MOTHER, but THE MOTHER! Sick of doing what she asked but end up sendiri yang kena.
Thirdly, she really want us to score. Since if she is not doing THIS, she is going to be screwed by THE MOTHER too, so why not help us and get screwed?
okay, maybe i think too much larrr…… or maybe what she wants is just to help us, purely US but nothing else.
Well, Ms Penny has been acting kinda weird. I dunno whether its because she is busy or it’s because she kena screwed, she no longer active on FB. haha!! see? I think too much right?
Whatever it is, She is just doing her job. Regardless following or disobeying the rules, she is is doing her job, which is to educate us and help us pass. =)
Thank You Ms Pei Nee!! =)
Time to go off, I’m going to sleep early today. hehe…. very early. Cuz i’m kinda tired.. (eventhough after nap)
What a day…. gah. Spent my whole day in the living hall, studying with my beloved housemate, WK. =) haha!! Cute guy!!
ok, i need to brush up things before i sleep. still a bit more to go.
All the best in Drug Abuse!
