kuen today!! sot d...

well, i am quite tired.. yesterday and today. i guess my dear ALO blog has been updated?? i hope so, cuz i hvn checked the blog. haha!!!

well, i was working today. everything's fine. just that i feel a little tired.
KM came and visit me in the pharmacy!!! haha!!! glad!!! and he gave me a p[air of pigie nite slipper!! it's meant to be wear at home la... haa!!!
cute!!

and thanks to him!!!

He is leaving to China followed by Hong Kong next Tuesday!!! :-)
erm.. he is going there for some projects and some seminar... well, he's a chem en student in NZ. so, cool!!
and i heard that he's also involved in the coming Olympic in Beijing.. but dunno why is he involved la... haha! cool!!

I think i'll be having mild flu.. why?
not enough sleep?

yeah...

sent the Stupiak Girl to UtaR last Sat... and i slept for.... quite long in the car.
and.......
i almost become babi panggang d.... well, it's bawang panggang..(sounds better) haha!

Anyway....
it was quite weird that day. dunno la... but everything looks fine. so... fine lo! hahaha!

I admit la, my emotion werent that stable that day... stupid.. (red eyes when i called my bro...)haha! but now, i'm ok la.
talked to bro just now, it seems that he is trying to get use of the Uni.. so... wish him luck la..

yep... i still miss him.. so much!

Today!!!

I did not eat ANYTHING since morning!@!!! so... i went to conduct the grading test EMpTY STOMACH!!!
and u know what.... it's raining heavily at KAPAR.. so.. i was COLD and HUNGRY!
i hate the feeling...
that's why, i went back straight after the test...

oh ya, i think my mild flu is because of the rain just now...

Oh ya.. my hungry soul...
thanks to StuPiak Girl's mum for asking me for dinner at her house just now!!!
It's been a while i ate home cook dishes... why?
normally i work at night, so.. i dont hv dinner when i work at nite.. and at nite is the time my mum cooks. so......
'it's been a while.

and... her mummy's food very very nice!! i was really enjoying the taste of the food.. i was not just eating to fill up my hungry soul.. haha!!!
'
it reminds me of grandma's cooking... honestly.. hehe...

mummy and daddy..still hvn reach le... 12 am d.... haiz... i guess i'll sleep first la...

well...i'm going to hv mild flu... Stupiak Girl is having sore throat????
hope she stops singing and tk care of her voice.. haha!! i dont really admire her sexy voice..ha! it's worst than a toad!!! :-)

I've see more things today...
After the grading test i conducted.

Me? my thinking and attitude really different. Why am i so..... matured?
I cant really "brush myself down" with them. why>?
their childishness...
my gosh....

my goodness...

I understand why am i always the Tai KAh Chea among them.
Seniority?
I'm after my Tai Ko, Tiong Leong...
yup, my sir always consider me as one of the most senior student. and... i am proud,, yes! but sometime i doubt whether i've done a good job as a senior and instructor. I still feel that i can do better.

Sometimes the feeling of giving up is there. but... i just like the feeling of seeing my students get promoted to black belts and pooms.
it's really a great satisfaction to me..
Just like today..
those who went for black belt tests are my students... and they did a great job.. and thanks to the weather.. ha!

====================================================================


Let me tell about how i feel about..........these days.

I feel that i need more time to accept things...
but as from other ppl's view, they think it's ok for me to accept cuz it's not a big matter for them.

I mean... i really need time...
and i've asked myself to try it out.. try to accept... but... no improvement.. haha!
that's me..

like i said before..
please keep ur sweet world out of my sight?
dont make me jealous...
just like my bro...and the Stupid RAJ!
Raj: " Pharmacy very easy one!!! very very easy to pass!!! i only study 2 hours per day!!!!"
Fuck la...

just because he was my classmate, that's why... i tahan my feeling to strangle him up. haha!'

ya right... he is taking USM programme.. in ICT (What's that? nvr even heard of??!) it's located in Penang.
and... his class are Malays (majority), Indians(minority), Chinese (e-lek!)...
haha!!

bloat la! bloat la!!
i dont care what programme you are studying, stay out of my life!
hahahaha!!

I sounded cruel, but.... no choice. cuz me and Cheryl really wanna strangle him that time... ha!

ok... he's trying to ask me to accept the things from his world... sorry. i dont want to.

Bro? he wont force me to accept, but he wants me to listen. he'll get pissed off if i dont listen to stories he's telling. that's why.......
haiz...

Things that dont really matters for others matters to me. i mean, most of it matters to me.
i am particular. I am a rubbish bin in all sense, but... can you guys treat me as a recycle tong ar? haha!! there are some things that cannot be recycled le... and make sure you guys throw the rubbisg at the right place, at the right time.

DumbOnion is stupid... but she's not stupid FULLY after all.

DumbOnion accepts everything...calmly... (physical), but emotionally, she erupts faster than you thought. haha!! haha!! haha!! (laugh like a witch, just like little Rachel does) hehe...

but now, DumbOnion still ok.. nothing serious has happened. still ok, everything is still fine.

Another thing, I hate impostors.
I cant seem to ignore them even my mouth says so.
anyway, i'm still trying to train the Dumb brain not to care about it.
hehe....

I dont really like everything and anything! i got preference... not in food, but in other things.
so.....
I guess.... that's what makes Dumb Onion special?? yup, special from others who are same-aged.
me and my same aged... we're totally from a different world....
so sad...

ALO start complaining that i dont really tell anyone my probs. knw wht i answered? "me? no hay problemma!" so... no problem how to tell?

haha...

It

is

a

good

technique

to

hide

everything...



i am choosy le... remember?

As usual, as for my friends, their thought about me... (there's laughter everywhere i go)

well, is it true?

true for those who dont know me la. :-)

yup, it's right.


Future...
sometimes, i long to preserve everything i hv now... my friendship, my relationship, my stupiak-ship, my G-string-ship (ignore me...i'm Dumb today).

yup, i wish i could keep all the ships as long as possible. Sinking is not the issue when i hold strong to these ships.
as usual la...

woo-hoo...

i'm crapping...
i'm shiting...
i'm sleepy...
but i still wanna....
ok..
i'll go off now....

got to do some reading...
I'm a little retarded...after the Chemistry session with Stupiak Girl..
anyhow, she's more retarded than me!! "WInk" glad!

k la, chiao!!

...........

Adieu, la hermana..


bro has left...

I felt bad...
bro wants to see me but i disappear myself the whole morning. Yes, i know, if i see him leave like that, i cannot act normal..

I miss him la...

sob sob....
stupid tears..

I cannot deal with "goodbyes'... really. i am very different from others. I am too soft>?? maybe?

really....

I"m really useless in this sense... and i just do nothing but shut myself up. Even my oen bro wants to see me for the last time, cuz he'll only see me for the next few months or end of this year.. and me? as a useless person, i really hide myself out.. I know i cannot deal with it. so i chose to avoid.

Well, I dont feel regret la... just that... I feel so bad for my bro. I asked him to online 2mr... so that we can talk lo....

Know what? i really hate this feeling.... like i said before, it's like losing someone i really really love.
heartache....

Feel like cutting out the tear glands so that it stops functioning.

i dunno why, it just cant stop.

I really hope the best for my bro. When it's time to let go, it has to go.....eventhough it refuse to go.. but still, no choice.

I couldnt imagine my days without the stupid fella..

haha... means my movies sessions has to be ALONE (though these few days oso alone),
TKD will also be alone...

haiz... dun wanna think la.!!

so... 3rd dan.... can he sit the grading test together with me? i doubt so... cuz it will be a 2 vs 1 grading test.. scary... 2 person will attack me and i hv to fight 2 person.. and yet, the 2 person are you seniors!! means they are at least 3rd dan!!
Me??
i'm only 2nd dan......

haiz....

Aku rindu kat dia la....

nyaris-nyaris nangis dalam kereta tadi bila masa balik....
haiz...

nothing can be done...

so...i'll watch movie now.... to forget about everything.

This is really a Fucker's attitude!

Four individuals have lodged complaints of police abuses, including being forced to perform oral sex, during their remand to the Human Rights Commission (Suhakam).

Originally, five individuals were arrested in Cheras on May 29 and held at the Kajang police station on a seven-day remand. During which two of them - one of them a juvenile - were forced to perform oral sex on each other.Four of them were also beaten up before getting their remands extended for another three days where the abuses continued.

“The sergeant who made them perform oral sex on each other was angry that they informed the magistrate about it (abuses) and asked them why they made the complaint.

“He then made them lick his boots, sprayed Ridsect (insect repellent) on their faces and were then beaten up with pipes by three or four police officers.

What the fuck!

Is that supposed to be a Malaysian's Attitude??!!? still the dorkball is a cop! FUCK!

Useless animal!!

How are we going to be proud to be a Malaysian??!!

Sucker....!!!

I've fucked things up... hon-to Gomenasai..

It's almost 11pm now...
i've been lying on my bed...closing my eyes..thinking... and i cant help it by tearing...
heartache.....


i feel bad for fucking everything up...
my normal life,
my bro...

and i cant even be with him when he leaves. nope, it's my choice to not be at home.

i'm very moody today, really. i am.

Slept quite late yesterday, around 3am.. cuz i was planning and discussing about my bro's To-DO list. Gosh.. he hvn done most of the things.. so, i was sorting the list yesterday night and checked the things he needs to prepare after i came back from butterfly park, it was before 12am.

so...

this morning.. i was awaken by my mum, cuz i need to fetch her to work. Feel very sleepy.. summore loaded with my bro's thing.. cuz WE know! he cannot do anything on his own.. i was very bengang d... even in the morning, i was chatting with my mum, i felt angry with my bro, and disappointed with his attitude.... haiz... worried about my bro...
dunno whether he can handle things on his own onot.

that's why, i woke up early in the morning to buy stem, go to the bank, post office, buy PTPTN pin Number... and... he sleeps till 9 something!!!! my gosh!
of cousre la i bengang!!
still, the photo hvn developed yet! shit!

i was very agitated. i called him and spoke to him with a high tone.. asked him to wake up and get everything done!

so....

i came home after i did all the things and try to log in the PTPTN website.
Fuck! cannot daftar!!!

then mana tahu... it's already closed and need to wait till July.

shit.. wasting my time.
again... mismanagement by my bro.

Thank god we've checked through the things yesterday midnight! if not....
DARN man! most of the things he hvn done!

haiz.... what will he be without me and my mum?
Stupid....

I was very very very agitated.. that's why, i postpone my date with Yolk to JJ to buy Cheang's bday gift. haiz....

After settling all his things, and he'd certified all the documents, then i can sleep(nap)peacefully at last.

I really thought a lot of things....
and...i became more moody.

I feel guilty, i would say.
i felt guilty for treating my bro that way, since he is leaving 2mr.

and i've done things that i shouldnt be doing.
I'm really sorry.

that's why, i really have no mood....and nap. Dunno why, sadness just conquer me... and.. yup, i cried.alone.. to sleep.

watever msg tat comes in... i wish i could just throw my phone off... but i didnt. cuz it was something important, i couldnt afford to ignore it.

Stupid.. i'm really really stupid.

I feel like i'm alone fucking up my stupid wonderful life.... talking some shit which i'm not supposed to talk..

Yup, i'm damn guilty now.
I dunno how to face my world anymore.
i dun wanna feel it again la. It's hard for me to recover with a smile.

and.... there are some things which i still cant accept...
like... my bro's attitude for these few days....

It's my fault. I'm the one who caused these shit to happen.

Honestly, know how i feel now?

I feel FUCKING TERRIBLE! MISERABLE!

yet... i still hv to smile and face everything peacefully.

sorry ar.. this blog a little rude. cuz i really cant stand the feelings in me. I hv to write it out.

I've fucked everything up, seriously....

and i wont force myself to accept things that i wont accept. I wont force, but i'll learn to try.


I've remembered wat WennIyng said. :" I dont like to travel with 3 ppl, i like to travel with only 2 person..including myself!" Fiona:" har...so lonely...? the more the merrier ma....but hv to find a group which is NGAM la.."

Me? i'm in silence.. I nodded when wenn iyng said the sentence above. cuz.. i agree with her.

that's why... i rather go alone if i were to go with another 2 person. Unless it's with my family..then it's different.

I'm weird.. The way i think is totally different.
I prefer to be independent.... rather than dependent.

that's why....
i cannot stand my bro.

but... what can i get from feeling this way?
he is leaving soon.

I hope he'll be ok there...alone la.

and 2mr....

DArn...
another day which i think i've Messed up.

I still need time to accept... but not in this way.
really... not in this way.

too bad la...
My feelings sucks today...
so, everything is moody to me...

and i did not eat a single thing from morning, till now..
cuz why?
no appetite,
and as a punish for what i've fucked up.

Please Forgive me.....

Once and for all.....

I'm really sorry...

TO where you are...

Listening to Josh Groban now...
well, He is one of the soul-ful singer. i love his songs, so much. Cuz when you're down, you;ll find the strength to carry on, when you just listen to his voice, he'll make u shiver...

TO where You Are.

It's one of the earliest songs of his. It's hard to wait for his album, cuz he only produce one album every a few years.

He touches every cell in you when you just close ur eyes and listen.
DOn't Give Up, You are loved.. it's one of his songs, it's quite a different genre compared to his other songs. This song.... i'll listen to it when i am stressed and feel like giving up... or when i feel like there's no one else in this world who understands what i'm going through.
This song... it really touches the most sensitive part in my heart...

My confession...
the feeling of this song is totally different than the others.


I like his songs cuz...even though u dont understand the language he sang (he is capable of a lot of language), but he can deliver the exact feeling of the songs...
u don't need to understand the words to understand the songs.

I share these songs... from Josh Groban,the Voice of Wonder....he touched my heart,deeply...... :-)

Love today.

things really happen unpredictedly..
Like my bro...
then Fiona...

haha!!

erm, i know who;s reading and who's not reading.

had fun just now!!! cuz i get to meet Fiona & Kenji!!(the beautiful couple) and WEnn Iyng!@!!!!! haha! happy to meet her!!
cuz she just came back from Taiwan!!! haha!! she...... seems happy.. about the trip...ONLY, but not the SLUT! yup.. the total SLUT..and i can imagine how she is by just listening to Wenn Iyng... and now? i'm more worried about Wenn Iyng d... i always tell her that i'm very scared that she'll get bully and taken advantage by others, just like how the SLUT treated her. DaRN!!

Read Rose-ie's blog... ha! as usual, the girl is always into Japanese hot guys!!! yeah! Shun Ogouri Rocks!!! i love him baby!
that's why, from Rose's blog, i read the SLUT's blog.... Darn.. so fake. but she made it so nice so that others feel that their relationship is quite close. Fuck la.
There are lots of dissatisfaction behind all the smiles in the photo the SLUT posted. and believe me, all the things she wrote in the blog, is totally FAKE! and the other way round happened actually!
Shit man.. cant believe she's a pharmacist, a total SLUT!

eeww.......

I'm happy to see Kenji!! yeah, he's grown taller, and... he understands most of the thing we talked! Gosh.... he's so sweet and cute!!!

and he's playful too..

oh ya, He really grows healthily.. thanks to FIona actually. oh ya, and thanks to her tht she uses the cloth which is used to wipe table to wipe Kenji's face. haha!! and I hope Kenji wont hv any pimples tonite la.. cuz.. he's full of sugar today, and the cloth... eeww... Fiona.... and the cloth.... haha! She's so funny today.. ha!


what is he doing??? gosh.... DIGGING!!!!!!

eeei!! it's a bit blur.... haha! but he's cute!!! feel like kissing him all over his face!!! ha!


he's cute!! muacks!! muacks!!!
isnt he handsome????? gosh... Kenji.........wish i could keep him as my pet... haha!!!
muacks!!!


yup, i've watched movies alone these 2 days. Last Tuesday, me and bro went to watch Get Smart, it was a good movie!! cuz it's very funny!!!! haha!!
Yesterday, i went to watch Prom Night... thank god i did not pour the pop corn on other's face.. ha! anyway, i'm alone though.... i mean the whole row.

so, just now, again, i went to watch movie again... yes, alone. I've watched WANTED. haha! the new movie which is acted by Angelina Jolie. Darn! she's so DAMN SEXY!! sometimes i wish i am Brad Pitt. cuz... when u see her, you'll have fantasies about her.. Gosh, i love her sexy lips, sexy figure, and... he kissed the main actor! (forgot his name d..) haha!!! so envy le...got kissed by ANgelina Jolie!! my gosh!!!
and i tell you, her body is....fyuh! cuz...i've seen her naked before. in the movie...called CARS, if i'm not mistaken. i forgot d.. but she was young that time... and she still hvn have Maddox Yet.. oh ya, she was a crazy girl... and addresses herself as wild, young...bi. haha! yup... she was caught by paparazzi in a club "flirting" with a women, and she admitted that she loves wild sex.(prefer les)

well....

at least, she, as a mother..is different now. haha!! and she's going to adopt another African Boy after Zahara! haha!

Cute!

WANTED has a good story line. yes... i love the story line.
and it's brutal enough for me. haha!!!! of course, we wont expect anymore sex scene from Angelina Jolie d... haha!!
In short, it's a Must Watch movie!!!! haha!!

oh ya, i sit alone in the whole row too... i was 10 mins late for the movie and it's leceh to go to the centre seat... so.. i just seat one row in front which is still consider as a good place, it's direct centre, in front of the screen!!! haha!

Well, hv to think what movie should i watch 2mr morning.......... ha!

Saturday, bro's departing. Me? I'm not sending...
I'm phobia to "leaving", especially my loved ones leave me. though they are leaving for something good, i'm still phobia,
my big heart is too fragile.
i know i cant take it.
even it's my own bro...

imagine, when BS left, i took a long time to recover even though i did not go to the airport..
well, my bro, we can still talk through the phone... but... it's still sad....
so.. i've decided not to send him... but to go somewhere else...and wish him good luck. that's why, i ain't staying at home...
haha!
Anyway, i've promised to fetch the Stupiak Girl to UtAR. I've took off... and i've lied. haiz... but in life, you hv to tell lies for something good. i'm not doing any bad things.... so... nothing to be afraid. haha!! LIES FOR GOOD!!!


watever la....
cuz... i wanna enjoy myself... i wanna live as if i'll die 2mr. haha!!! that's what life is for? right?

just like Wenn Iyng asked me whether i'm still working in Life care after i start study. i said:" of course!" as for me, it's a different experience to work and study at the same time. why? i get to elarn more and get updates on new medications and new customer's behaviours! haha!
I told her it's for my future own good la.... it may not be useful to me now, but in the future, it is useful to me. cuz i've more retail experience and it's one of the way to ensure me a smooth journey in retail line. :-)
Fiona said:" life ma.. once in a life time.. so, enjoy la.. Kuen is enjoying her life. haha!!"
yes, i would say... hehe...

2mr... haha!
tell you what. i'm going to be as busy as ever too! why? i need to settle my bro's things. he still have lots of things hvn do, so... i hv to settle for him.
i've bought hima 4GB pendrive just now....
cuz i dunno what else i can get him....
wanted to get him the same pendrive as mine... but.. i've changed my mind. bought him another brand but same price.
Just wanna give him something before he leaves la... :-) cuz pendrive is the most useful thing for him now. haha!!
i'll wait till i he the cash to buy a web cam la.... ha! cuz i dun hv crystal eye web cam as in ACER's Lappy... hehe... so, i need web cam.

erm..... later la... cuz there's something more important than web cam.... or... do anyone has 2nd web cam? or anyone wanna recycle?
i really need a web cam.... :-)
wait la.... till i sew my pocket. haha!

k la, i wanna rest earlier, as 2mr will be another busy day...
means... possibility for movies is low.

sob.... by the way, ok la... cuz... i have to get use to doing things alone starting next week. even TKD...


Chiao la...
i dont think i want tears to flow down to flood. haha!

1 more day to go... to be with him.

I have something to say..

Listen listen!! I v something to say...
my feelings... it's mixed today.. and it kinda becoming a rojak now...

why?

I'm accompanying my bro to KL 2mr. well, it was an important thing to go there, but not anymore. why?

I guess...
there are pros and cons..

ok, first of all, my bro gave surprise again, not him.. he is not the one who gave us surprise..
i guess my parents, and apart from this, it's my bro's attitude.

He cant really decide eventhough he had made his decision to study med, anyhow, he doubted his decision these few days...

and at last, he is going to UMT, in Terengganu this Saturday afternoon. Means... i cant go with him, cuz i need to be in klang for everything, my TKD, my work...

bad hor? this sister?
anyway, i've made my decision to stay in Klang. Cuz i know, Bro is my responsibility(no doubt), but my students.. they are my responsibility too. cuz i hv students going for black belt test this Sunday, so i need to be there to guide and teach them for the very last day.

I do not see my bro as "not so important", but, i hv to see and judge things rationally. though bro will only be back a few months later.

Anyway, pros and cons...

Pros.

• No one argue with me, fight with me.
• I get to use the bathroom longer.
• My lava wont erupt often.
• i dont need to spend my energy and saliva to wake him up.

Cons

• No one argue with me, fight with me.
• lonely.
• I'll miss him.
• scared tht we'll be like strangers when we meet after a few months.
• I'll worry about him.
• no one will watch movies with me anymore.
• no one chats with me during weekends.
• No one will be here to tolerate my attitude.
• No laugh
• No jokes

see? for me, cons are more than pros.
ok, i'm not regret for scolding him, cuz he deserves it that time, cuz he is really stupid and he really made me mad.

why he made such decision? cuz my mom says... Bro is different than me. They love my bro, of course they'll support whatever decision my bro made. According to my father's friend, who is a boss of a company, he said :"Food technolocy is good! U graduate as a food technologist! and you can go into many lines, QC,production, R&D, Sales..."

yup.. the boss is true. i told my bro the same thing.

My bro is the kind of timid guy. so, he needs time to accept things that he dont know. yup, he do not know about Food tech.. that's why he cant accept it at first.

Since he cant make decision, my parents made it for him. They encourage him to go, and say.. "u go try out one year, or even few months, if you really think that the course is not suitable for u, then you call us, after that, u go for medic.. it's still not late what? cuz local uni right, you wont hv anymore chance if you miss this, as for private, u still hv chance to enroll next year."

yup, my parents were right. Cuz my bro, he is really different. His attitude is totally different than me.
He wont tell anyone even if he feels pressured, stress.. or his unhappiness.so, i'm scared that he'll go CRACKO if he studies med.

My bro? he'll be a good doctor if he graduates as a doctor, just that, we are worrying about him going through the process of studying. cuz.... he may give up without telling us... and he is the type that cannot tk more pressure, cuz he is used to comfortable life. (like what he is living now)

another thing, my bro, he does not have any initiative to do something, it is very hard for him to make the first step. i dunno why the hell is so hard for him to take the first step... but he just cant. (that's why, when he found his true life partner, he will stick to her forever. if the girl who likes him is not his type, he wont terlekat to her too...)

so, Stupiak Girl.... dont worry about ur marriage ya!!haha!

In short, my parents dont want my bro to struggle so much... cuz they say, when we reach their age, all we want is a simple life...

yup... it make me think for a while.

me? I dont want to be ORdinaRY.

know what my daddy described me and my bro?
Bro-- a bird who is suppose to fly but he dont wanna fly.
Me-- A bird who is eager to fly when it doesnt even knows how to flip the wings.

haha!

yup, it's true.

that's why... my parents know my bro's character. They said, since my bro cant make any decision, they hv to make the decision for him..(just like the big boss said)
and my bro, he's ok with anything.
he doesnt hv a stand... till now.
THey scared, their love to him(supporting him doing medic) will jeopardize him. That's why, they hv to make decision for him this time.

but i hv intuition that he'll enjoy himself very much in University. My parents dont want him to study like me.

haha!

they said i'm different. cuz they are comparing my bro now with Me when i was his age, I hv the initiative to look for a job, i hv the initiative to read and learn about medications, i hv the initiative to find alternatives to study pharmacy.

My bro, he doesnt even care to find a job. He prefers staying at home sleeping. He dont really showed my parents his passion in studying med. and he dont even hv the initiative to do anything. including finding himself a job. (so, it's not my fault that he dont wanna work in pharmacy)

In short, my bro is very comfortable with his life, well, too comfortable i would say. yup, mum says, he's too scared to leave home, cuz he never leave home before. and he scares that if he goes UMT, he'll hv no companies...
See?

these are not a problem AT ALL to me. cuz i can easily make friends, it depends on me who i want to befriend with.

I told my mum that. and she says...:" yup, i know it's not a prob to you, but as for ur bro, he is not like you, i understand him cuz i am like him. I dont dare to tk the first step to talk to ppl too. dunno why but we're just like that..."

I just kept quiet....

and think from my bro's perspective. yup, he is like that. Remember i said that he is "glued" to me since small? and he wants to be "glued" to me forever.
but now, my parents are now creating a chance to let him soar, up to the sky.
and gladly, my bro accepted it. and i am happy for him. Not because he wont be with me, it's because i know that he'll grow and become more mature after this.

I know, he'll enjoy the programme in the Uni.

I am envious about him going to Uni. I got a chance to go, but i rejected it. It's simply because i know what i want. so, I wont get to experience the Local Uni activities forever in my life. and it's kinda sad.....
cuz...Uni life is supposed to be interesting....and you get to learn a lot from it.
but nothing can be done.
haha!

based on my studying situation now, i dont think i hv the time to join the activities too. My bro? his course is kinda simple? than Pharm definitely. i hope he'll enjoy himself there.

I'll miss him so damn much....
like i miss my BF...

I started to Miss him now... even though he is by my side.
I dunno... this kind of feeling.. it's like losing someone important in ur life. though he is not gone forever.It's totally different than missing DearDear... and HIM.
so...
i dunno...

I cant believe, my bro will be going off this saturday afternoon... sob sob, believe it or not, tears filled my eyes now when i think of it.

I need time to get used to his non-existence. Maybe I'm worry about him being there alone. cuz he is a careless guy. I think most guys with my bro's character are careless. but they are very caring....

Darn....it's flowing down.
tears i mean.

My little bro is learning how to fly. I would call my tears, The Tears OF Joy.
i know, my life will be different without his existence..

oh ya, i still dont feel regret for scolding him these few days.
that's why i love about him. He'll forget in a few hours and be normal again..... He knows my character and tolerate with me lor...

ANyway, they are leaving this Saturday and i wont be going. so, i'll only keep in touch with him through phone. so.....
i'll just treat it as if i'm in my Uni lo....haha! Cuz i dont really see my family except weekends.

haha....
When you're angry, you'll hope that he'll disappear forever...
but when it's time for him to go away, you'll hope that he'll stay. Human? haha...

Hey, we cant even hv mamak session together anymore during weekends....

it's ironic.


ok la...
wanna rest earlier, it's 2am now. hv to wake up early and go KL with bro. so.....

nitez..


el hermano, mi el-amor..
buenos noche...

Retarded!

everything seems retarded to me today. why?

my bro... " JIE, can you help me to call Aimst??!! i got lots of things to do le!!!"

eh, can you plz be a little polite ar?

why the hell i'm responsible for you ar?

retarded joss steak....

freak!

haiz....

i hope Stupiak Girl do well in her Test, it's maths today, i think it's not a problem to her la... i think only physics scares her..for now... haha!!

just try ur best in everything la. :-)
your journey hasnt begun yet. haha!

Went for lunch with mummy.. again, we planned out everything for my bro.. the things that he should do.. for this week, cuz it's a hectic week for all of us.
Stupid bro... do everything last minute.. "Eh! you think everytime when you wanna shit, sure got JAmban de ar?"

SHI*t.

making me busy/... haiz..

but i still help him out la..

hv to go KL again 2mr.... darn, hv to wake up early in the morning again. i think by 7am i hv to wake up d..

haiz.....

bear it la...

I swear, Next year sem break! i will lift up my ass and bring it to overseas !!! i'll leave aLL the shit behind and chao!! Eventhough i have to go alone, i'll still go.. so, no one can interrupt my sem break! buat susah saja....
The only thing i'm going to inform is,i'll go alone. when i'll go, when i'll be back.. and who am i going with? (but mostly, i think alone or with travelling group).
i wont bring my damn phone too. i'll only bring my phone for the sake of taking pics and listening to songs.
DARN.....

I had high bp yesterday, i had a shock when i saw my bp level... gosh. and today, my pulse in high, and i know, my bp will be high too.
DARN....

If this keeps going, u'll see me burst like a Darn balloon!

my "fire level" increasing... having eruption soon!!! i dunno how long can i "press" my lava from flowing out...

but fine la... just dont talk to me.

I'll go movie tonite.
yes, i'll go.
alone.... :-)
will watch the evening movie, about 5 something or 6 something pm...
ALONE...

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Bodoh betul.

A dumb sister got roasted because of her stupid brother.. haiz....


no mood liao.
chiao.

un-dis-non-un-satisfaction in the morning! slap...

hi..... nope, should be haiz......

plan to sleep till late late... but.. thanks to MUMMY@@!!! who called me and wake me up from my super sweet dreams!!! my gosh.... cuz i know, once i wake up, i hv to start worrying for my bro.

see!! it's 10 14 am now.. and u know how many things i've done to find out about the medic course in UCSI!!!! and see? my stupid bro still sleeping....ARGH!!!!

I've called a lot of places, LAN, UCSI, my uncle, my aunties, Mum,.........darn.....

and i'm still waiting for the reply from my uncle... yup, he's a doctor..

sometimes, i'm wondering, a person like my bro, this kind of attitude, how to study medic ar>?? it's like, he doesnt even bother to find everything out by himself!!! me??? hello.... i'm in my sem break la, can at least let me sleep ar??

die la..... my bro... i'm now imagining when he graduates, will he diagnose a patient wrongly ar? just like the Klinik Salina who gave the wrong med dosage to a baby... my gosh!!

haiz.. i'm sleepy now, but i cant sleep!!! cuz i need to wait for the calls and.....wake my stupid brother up.....

tak boleh harap langsung....

i dont think i dare to let him do a single injection oso.... haha!!!


i'm just spurring everything out here.. cuz me? i'm now lack of sleep, my eyes almost closed, hvn brush my teeth, and yet, i need to find out so many things!!! oh ya, the most important, i am hungry....

hungry man is an angry man... haha! me? i'm not that angry la... just tht... i dunno why i hv to do this?? it's not me who wants to study medic!!!! why must i put efforts on the things that i am not studying????
easy.....
because... he's my stupid brother.

wanna let go everything, but... tak sampai hati.

even my parents oso one more thing, the wont ask my bro to find out himself.. why? cuz they know... if he asks, it's = zero.
so......

"I'm sorry i'm bad, i'm sorry i'm blue....."
when my ringing tone rings... i know....gosh..... my sleep.. sob sob...

yup. it's true, i've answered that phone... see la, my job starts....
if i did not answer, there are more calls to come.....see? my father calls again...


haiz....


sick!! sick!!! i wish i was the sister(younger) in this family!!! haha.....

but... cant blame oso.. cuz my attitude memang bossy and degil a bit, that makes me a leader for my siblings.

like i told Stupiak Girl yesterday... cuz she seems like facing the same situation... haha!!
i told her, can a person like me really find guys that will make decision for me, protects me, and really care everything about me?

know what? i doubt le.... maybe i'll take forever to find a guy like that... haha!!! Why? cuz my attitude.. i'm very protective, (like a man? yah...), I'm stubborn and soft hearted.. things that i said i dont care, i will still care. I wont show it, but i will do it quietly..

pathetic.. pathetic..

yesterday, i thought everything will be fine this morning... mana tahu, there are more things coming to me this morning!!! hello..... me le? i know as a big sis i need to be responsible to my bro, but.... if i keep on backing him up, when is he going to be independent??? haiz......

fine la, i dunno what more to say about this.
Even my parents oso approach me and ask me everything......
well, in a way... they respect my opinion?? haha... cuz i know more than them.

but thank god, my bro still respect me la... though he knows i'm doing everything...
but... hello.. i wont be here everytime when he needs me.. i want him to learn to handle things on his own, especially his own FUTURE!!!

:-(

It's hard to be the BIG "GUY" in the family....

ok, my bro wakes up d...
at last, he wakes up at the time when it almost rain.

sweat......

know what, i wish my bro will be the ONE AND ONLY GUY IN MY LIFE with THIS KIND OF ATTITUDE .... no, i dont want more..
it feels.... pressuring, suffocating...and... worrying.

I'm always the one worrying for him le....
can someone worry for me ar?

ya la, everything... thanks to the way i'm being brought up la...
DUmbOnion really DUMB in this case...

haha......

everytime i wanna let him stumble and fall, so that he'll learn.. but i guess, his journey is smooth sailing all the while...
cuz his thinking...."nvm, anything, i can refer to jie jie.."
eh? I'm wat? walking dictionary ar?

fyuhh......

it's cool and not cool to have a bro who is going into Uni....

especially the SAME UNI!!!!!

haiz.... Since small le!!! he's "glued" to me!!! my gosh!!!

haiz... biarlah... i wanna go hang myself to death d.. wish i am Snow White, got poisoned, waiting for the REal PRINCe to kiss me and wake me up!!! then live happily ever after
but.....
in reality....
I think i'll be the one to KISS my poisoned PRince and ask him to wake up!!! the first thing i'll do? SLAP him, TURN him a few rounds!!! and yell...."eh! why must i kiss you ar? why u so stupid go n eat the poison apple??!!? u duuno how to see ar? u buta kah?"
(i sometimes treat my bro like that oso... cuz he really dunno how to judge, everyone is considered a good person to him! he do not know about imposters, bad company, and useless heart breaking friends... his view of life is so... clear and pure, no contaminants, no dirts... )

whereas mine??? i've seen through a lot of things... that's why.. i "label" my bro as.... NAIVE!! though he is a very lucky guy for being a stupid person....and happy-go-lucky. My gosh!


haha...
anyway, i hope my fairy tale will not turn up this way, if it does..then i am really pathetic...


k la... it's enough of anger and spurring, cuz... no point! i still hv to do everything for him..... haiz...

haha...


"I'm sorry i'm bad, i'm sorry i'm blue....."

my phone rang again........

about it......

It's GLBT month... and i think most of the community in GLBT are celebrating the end of the festival. haha!!

yup, the most important is you must be proud of what you are, that's the most important. i have a few friends celebrating this GLBT month, but, too bad la, it's not legal in Malaysia. haha!! some they told me that during this month, there'll be parties and ppl parading around the town.

ok, u may wonder, what the heck is GLBT? well, it stands for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgendered community.(dont feel shock)... cuz you might be one of the community.. haha!! Me? yup, i a. so guess which of the GLBT i fall in??? hehe....

wow, i felt so impressed to hear from my friends how they actually celebrated it in overseas. my gosh...
They said, by doing this, they are showing gay pride. i was like, "huh???!!?? gay pride??" yup, shocked... cuz this is not a culture in Malaysia. U cant kiss a person in the public here.. so... not to think about kissing a same-gendered person in the public. Gosh....

On the celebration day, all the GLBT community will dress up and parade along the street. They will hv cars, flower cars, banners, and the most important, the people... to make this event successful. Yup, their logo is the rainbow colours, anything that is in Rainbow colours represents the LGBT community. I would not say society cuz they are still the minority..

and... scarily, without my knowledge of it... the GLBT community has been increasing in Malaysia each year.... and .... a lot...
gosh...
My friends asked me to search the lesbian or gay or bi profile on either friendster, hi-5... and they said.. go see and you'll know that most ppl.... they fall in this community.. just that they are still in the closet. They dont hv the courage to come out and be what they are actually.

ok....

i followed what my friends said... and ... besides the quantity, my gosh, the things they wrote in the blog... haha.. i need time to accept it. that's all.. haha!!! and the pictures... my gosh....

that's why, they had my total respect. cuz they have the courage to come out from the closet.. adn this is not easy, especially in Malaysia where This kind of relationship, whether physical, or emotional, or sexual is illegal.

It's not that i like to be them... but i think i fall in one of the GLBT initials. haha.... guess la?!!? u'll hv clues if you know me well enough.. haha!!!

oh ya, before i know about the details of the GLBT, i already know that the Rainbow colours represent gay pride. and.... i am crazy about rainbow coloured stuff because you cant get any in Malaysia... unless you draw urself. haha!!!

My friends.. they hv wristbands, flags, necklace....etc... envious le!!! nice stuff k!!! There's another reason why i like Rainbows, cuz the promise between me and D.D is carved on the rainbow colours... haha!! (this was before i know about the meaning of rainbow colours) At that moment, my concept about Rainbow is... something beautiful, sensual, meaningful...and... sweet smile. I will smile myself whenever i saw rainbow, cuz it reminds me of D.D :-)


I still like the rainbow wristband..... nice le!!!! but cant get it here.. haiz....


ok, enough about GLBT la..

hehe...

went for the last dose of Gardasil injection. haha!!! i feel sleepy everytime i had those injection.. i dunno why.. it makes me ... tired. I went to inject it at Omega Klinik. well.... as usual, no pain triggers me... except heartache. haha!

still ok la...

bout the Stupiak Girl's blog... i wanna confirm whether the thing that i am thinking is the same as hers onot.... haha! i guess i know why...... but..... just wanna re-confirm again.

and i would oso like to know what happened................
i knw there's reason why DumbOnion was not approached.. i understand...
that's why i dont dare to ask in front of the Stupiak FAce cuz i got warned from her on her blog. haha!! sweat... she really knows that i will ask if she did not stop me from asking... haha!

so....since you "sense" that i will ask... and you asked me not to ask... well, how can you expect me not to know everything? maybe not everything, but roughly la... haha!!! scary hor? i think she will hate me more!!! and that's good!!! :-) wahahahahaha!!!

anyway, what passed is past. You can look back and look what you've done... but you cannot turn back time and repair everything.

of course, if you hv prob with ur dearest ones, takkan you wanna tell the problem to another friend, which is a guy, and the guys admires you very much de... right?

haiz.... this one ar... i use my butt to think oso can get la......


Well, i still believe that nothing cannot be unsolved. There are solutions anywhere..


like me lo... thick skinned ma.... if got problem, or when my skin cacat, or someone cut or scratch me into an unconscious state, what to do? change my skin layer lo.....
cuz i know, if i dont change, new cells wont grow, i'm not going to heal... and i will not grow thicker. cuz everytime i peeled my outer layer, another inner layer will grow... and the newly exposed layer will be more resistant to cuts and scratches.
that's why onions are dumb. :-)
get cuts but still can tahan... haha!!! whatever way you do to the onion, the outcome is still the good one. if you cut the onion and fried it... you get delicious fried onion lo... but just beware that you get sore throat after eating it la... ha!

deep hor? dont understand ar? ok la... ignore all the non-sense and crap.

:-0

so.... no one can sing with me next week.....
alone again ar??????

......

Singing cheaper than movies le...haha!

so, i guess..... i'll KIV lo.


I guess mummy really feels lonely without dad by her side... but ..see? human is really an antagonistic animal.
When dad's around, we cant stand his babblings sometimes..
when he's not around, quiet pula... and... i think we all feel safer with dad around. haha!!
i sense her loneliness when she suddenly told me...."if 2mr(sunday) got nothing to do, then we go watch movie la.."
i was like...:" mummy, u got something wrong boh? or what shock have u got? u NEVER ASK US TO MOVIES de le!!!"
yup, she's boring..... haha!!



Called dad just now, he said his team is the only team winning and the only sport that won a gold medal... from his company. haha!!
My dad... he's a good DARTER!! (it's a wrong word... ha! it means he's good in darts!)


Bro (cousin) bought "Xiao Jing Teng's" cd. he's the one who won Aska Yang in the PK competition, and sang a duo with Ah-Mei, Yi Yan Shun Jian. wel.... he doesnt leave any impression on me... so i've decided to buy Yise's and Kenji's cd on that day...but not his..

GEt lost... if an artist dunno how to compose... haha!!


Sometimes, my friends... i think they are the one who changed my perspective about LOVE. They always tell me... "Love is a fluid that does not have a fixed level or set point, so...we'll just go with the flow..regardless who is the person (sex/gender)"

it somehow changed my mindset a little.. ..

I dont discriminate, so... i hope there's no discrimination on me too.

:-)


K la, i wanna watch cartoon d.... hehe.. still working hard on the "Zhong1 Hua2 Yi4 Fan1"... nice anime!!!!!!!


Dont abandone me if you have any problems....cuz...i am willing to share...and...face the problem together with you. and if possible, i am willing to give some guideline to solve it together too.

That's what ME is for...? besides $$?? hahaha!!! dont mind that.. i was just joking... haha!



Adios.....


:-)

blur.......saint.

how do i live without you? i want to know.....

haha... ignore me la. i am referring to.......

i woke up at 12 something today? thanks to....


CaPpucino!!!













yup, i slept at almost 5 am in the morning... and woke up at 12pm... gosh...
die la..
haha!! anyway, the cappucino is very nice!!! Stupiak Girl said it is bitter... but to me, it's ok.. cuz expresso is worse!!! haha!!

well... no regret after drinking it!

haha!!!


ok, today is Kavitha's Bday!!!
and the reason i woke up so early is because..... Sue sms-ed me early in the morning... and ask me to go LC before 1pm...to cut the cake together. I told her that Julene will not be able to make it cuz she went to the Bureau to tk the Hologram decoder. haha!! (useless decoder???@!!?)

so...

Sue asked me to buy a card....
well, i was half awake when i saw the msg. then i sleep again. when i woke up, i re-checked my inbox... then i realized that i hv to buy card??!! my gosh!! i malas to go out le....
so....

i've decided to do it myself... yup, DumbOnion is going to create a bday card with the dead artistic brain cells!
haha...
i did it at last.

i think it was childish...

well, dont laugh ya.. ha!

this is the back part... it's not very clear... but, haha... my masterpiece! this is the condition when the envelope is closed...


this is when the envelope is opened. there's a section there to place ur finger and pull the lock down.


this is the front part.


oh ya, this is the card, where everything comes from my retarded artistic brain cells!!! and i finally believe that my sense of arts is totally retarded. aha!! anyway, i'm satisfied with my "product"! ha!
i did the white envelope myself.. gosh, it took me a lot of time le... it is made from A4 paper lo.. even the card also made from A4 paper,

The pages of the card will be shown later.... This is the home-made card le!!! haha!!!!
I hv to break this Publisher Files into few pieces cuz my PDF creator's key expired d...



From left : Front page, Middle Page, Back PAge.










it took me the whole afternoon for all process... creating, printing( most diffcult part, need to turn the paper and rotate the pictures..), doing envelope, glue-ing, decorating..


that's why... it makes me kelam kabut just now...
haiz.... at 2 something, sue kept asking me to go LC fast!!!! and said "NOW or NEVER!" my gosh... that time, i was downloading another PDF creator... when i finish download, cannot be used pula, due to the STRONG spyware i've downloaded!!! my goodness!!!

so, i gave up and go to LC to cut cake.. haha!!

Brenda came too,(kavitha's cousin).. and ... there were 2 cakes today!!! haha!!
I've missed the Brenda's part.... so... left these..


Mr Viagra, leads us for the Bday song! haha!! he is a funny guy!!! see? all of us laughed because of him!!!! haha!!


Make a wish, make a wish...(Mr viagra sang this song when Kavitha was making wishes)... haha!!!


1,2,3...blow!!! sorry ar.. a bit blur..... haha!! but Kavitha is blowing the candles!!!! ha!!!






ok, basically, i went home after that, to finish up the undone card lo.... again Sue said:" u better finish it ar... or else NOW or NEVER!" what the??? NOW or NEVER again???@@!!
ha!


Luckily, Sue likes the card very much, cuz it's cute!!! haha!!! (if she dont like, i'll strangle her..ha!)
(thank god, still got ppl like my "product") haha!!!

I drank half cup of coffee which Julene Ta pao.... from Cheong Hoe.... haha!! ok ok la... the coffee.. it doesnt affect me, i am sleepy now... ha!
Good!!!

I'm still trying my best to "import" books from my friends... haha!! anyway, thank god i got most of them.. hehe... one more left... Randy Randy... haiz... :-)


Thinking..... when can i go sing again ar???

haha!!!
well, after that 6 hours singing alone session, i know that i can sing alone for 6 hours.. i dunno whether that's the maximum ar? haha...
but.... i still prefer to have another Stupiak Fellow to shout together... haha!
(actually, i dont really mind singing alone also... cuz i hv the experience d. haha!!!)

so do movies... all the while, i dont mind watching it alone, cuz i've used to it since Lower 6. i often watch movie alone. name one movie that was published at that time, yup, i watched most of them, alone.
cuz kebetulan Wednesday got no tuition ma... so..chao to movie la!! ha!

LONER..... haha. dont mind being called that way also... cuz it's normal to me. USED TO IT liao!!! :-)

'时间, 比我想象中无情, 也比我想象中, 更有意义

身边有认识的朋友,

也有从未谋面的陌生人,

我突然发现,

原来..

时间..

在不知不觉间,

改变了过去.

曾经喜欢的, 变成无趣, 甚至, 找不到喜欢的理由.

曾经熟悉的, 变成陌生, 连记忆都是模糊的.

曾经怨恨的, 变成喜悦, 庆幸自己错过当时.

曾经执著的, 变成无关重要, 原来, 放不下才是最愚蠢的.

曾经的缺口, 找到了另外一种圆满!

朋友说得好:"人生, 很长! "

快不快乐?

幸不幸福?

都不需要太急著当下决定,

不走到尽头,

谁也无法预知未来的命运.

人与人之间的相遇, 需要缘分,

感情的酝酿, 更需要缘分,

有缘无份的朋友活情人,能够保持君子之交已经是极限.

找不到话题, 相对无两言也是道理.

有缘分的, 即使曾经错过,

若干年后, 还是会在生命的某个交集点,

重新遇见, 成全彼此的爱恋.

所以..

坚持自己的梦想,

对身边自己爱著和爱著自己的人,

存有感恩和善意的心,

快乐过自己的生活,

这样就够了.

不必为失去的感到难过,

也无须为离开的失落,

因为..

总有一天..

你会发现..

上天把不适合的带走,

只为了还给你更圆满的生命!!


when i read wat she wrote, i feel like i am watching my past. yes, the past kuen, when kuen was in form 4 and form 5..
haha... this was written by my "ai ya" sister. she is emo, all her blogs are emo. just like my past blogs in...
the way she thinks, the way she writes, are similar to my style. maybe i should say, it was similar. cuz i've changed. i am not that me during form 4 & 5. glad!

just wanna notice it out cuz.... she made me thought of my past....:-) suddenly..


anyway, based on the date she wrote this, i think, she wrote it after we chatted about her problems. i guess i made her wrote that.
she is trying to give up on her....

Mi estupido la chica...

To mi estupido (estupiado) nina :" Gracias el la comida, mi querer el la comida. erm...no, mi amour la comida de veras!! Mi feliz sentirse. contente para tu sabre. "



Receurdos :

Tonto la cebolla.

......;;--$^$^^i**

the topic....

erm....

dunno what to name...

so, decided to write alien language lo..:)

ok....

i just came back!!!! ha! bought Kenji's cd!!! yay!!!!! the next will be Yise's cd!!! ha!! maybe danny's?

ok... really thanks to Stupiak Girl for the Lavender's meal??? haha!! a satisfied meal i would say... haha!!!

well, maybe in another few years time, i'll belanja her Jogoya when i can afford??? haha... no la, that time, i'll bring her to better buffet d.. see first la, if everything is still the way it is.. i may have the chance to do so. :-) well, dont think about things that not necessary will happen. :-)

My voice, still in recovery. yup, what do u expect? i sang for 6 hours ALONE yesterday!!!! ny gosh!!! proud of my achievement!! and the movie yesterday morning... gosh!! i was the only one in the whole cinema!!! haha!! feels like a rich person who booked the whole cinema !!! ha!!

ok... i may go 2mr morning for early movie.. :-)

Kenji's songs.... gosh!! good!!! good!!!!
Ripped into my lappy d!!! ha!
Not to show off how loaded i am... though i am not.. really not. ha! this sem break, i've bought lots of cd@!!
1. BIBI {NOW} (she's a good singer!) (bought in China)
2. Eric Suen Yew Wai {Teach you how to break-up} (bought in China too)
3. Shin, ah shin . { it's me} (wow, his song, very powerful. his voice impresses me)
4. Will Ng, huang wei er {will be good} (gosh... brilliant album!!)
5. Cheng Lee, Lee Zhi Ching {wait for you at 135KM} (nice piece, he's so damn talented)
6. Vick Teo, Zhang Zhu Cheng {scorpion} (he is a great singer, you should listen to his songs, the way he writes, arranged and produced it.. a talented guy!my idol anyway!!)
7. Kenji Wu, Wu Ke Qun . {write a poem for you} (gosh... he is... i like the way he "plays" with music.. his music is very "alive".. and meaningful)

Besides the cds above... i've bought CONAN Comic movies... ha!! a lot!! and a set of animation, Zhong1 Hua2 Yi4 Fan1. It's about the adventure of cooking by a boy named Liu Mao Xin. another great anime!!!!

I am not rich...

just that i bought it at different times, when i hv enough money to eat, spend, watch movie and GREENBOX!!!!

Listening to Kenji's song... . i was attracted to this song when it was first being played in the radio, yup, that time was my Finals period. I listened to radio everyday! why am i attracted?
there's a reason, cuz i did the same thing as written in the lyrics. Yup... I compose songs too...
and guess what, my inspiration comes from a person... and i wrote the poem for the person.. ha! the poem is still fresh in me.. haha!!! cuz after i sent the person the poem, i pecked the person.. haha!!! not kiss la.. of course. just a peck on the chick. Very brave hor??? and in front of other people le.... haha!!!

I couldnt believe what i've done,haha!!! my gosh!! "dishhh....."
anyway, it was a good memory between us.. ha!! funny.... cuz it was other thing the person was expecting... haha!
well, i was still young that time... haha!

(i am not "hiao" la... till now, we're still good friends. that's all. nothing else. At least something good to remember after the last terrible broken heart few months earlier... ha!)

my lappy... i think it is seriously "intruded'.. anyway, fine la.. cuz i hv YOVA!! :-)

i think it gets better after i installed the spyware, the spyware quite obedient d.. it doesnt sense my blogger as a spyware anymore. i dunno why.. sot sot de...

talked about huey ling just now... the more i know about her, the more i feel scary. why? SHE KEPT C.C us!!! Copy Cat!!! my gosh.... spoiled my love towards googles only... my favourite jeans brand.. i dont wear other than googles... sob sob. why my life is always intruded by a person like.... her?? i dont mind any other else intrude my life but not her.. cuz she does not hv the same interest, same preferance, same thinking, same understanding, same sampat-ness, same phobia..... like me and the stupiak girl but she beria-ia wanna create everything.
She is very scary....and stupid.
the things that we said we like,(either one of us).. she remembers... and she tries to like it too!!!

hello, I'm super phobia to ORANGE le, so can you become phobia to orange too>???!!!!? WTH!

Too bad la...
her blending into us... will be a total FAILURE!!! wahahahahahahahaha!!! (devil-nya)
yup, it's true.
She tries to imitate, but i think none of it success. hehe...
so, i'll shut my mouth up about the things i like d....
luckily didnt tell her about the green bear and the porcupine.. my gosh.. if not, she'll own all of them!!! haha!!!

oh ya, luckily she did not copy the 70% thingy.... ha! well, maybe she got no kaki to do it together? haiz... haha! watever la..

stay off my life, as far as possible la...

Conclusion : She is simple, Yet complicated.

scary, scary...

but... haha!!! if she wanna hv all the things we have, erm... i dont think she'll learn or get it for her whole life..
cuz... it's a lot.
well, the only thing she cannot intrude is..... "thinking.". yup! She cant imitate thinking!! She dunno what am i thinking all the time, not like (us), we know what are we are thinking all the time.

so, my life has another IMPOSTER!!!!
(fyuhh.... it's hard to get rid of imposters... cuz i've done it before, it takes years....)
see? diam-diam, datang seorang imposter lagi....
come on baby!!! see how deep you can penetrate!!! (eh, dont think too much, not that "penetrate" k??) ha!


ok... got to do my stuff now!! and 2mr wanna sleep till late late, then wake up for early movie!!!!!!

ENjoy while still can!!!

oh ya, i did something incredible!!! i've named my theme for Orientation in Spanish!! and it went through the committees.. haha!!
Tak sia-sia i learn spanish..

the Theme is called " Bienvenida Amigo!"
haha!!

guess what it means? (*.^)

muahaha!


adieu! Hasta Luego mi ninita! buenos noche!! hasta manana! Muacks!

WOW!!!

me on magazine cover!!!

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here i proudly present.....The Moron of the year!!!!!

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haha!!!! caught ya!

Referees photo session.

this is the stupid photo session which i attended last sunday... that's why i cant go JJBT to hv lunch!!!!! haiz....
Cat came all the way from K.U and the photo session is only 5 mins. Darn.. anyway, i look like wearing a sarung in the yellow banana shirt!! it's not so obvious in the photo but... i couldnt take it@@!! ha!!

it's long, my day.. long but meaningful?

haha.,...

incredible things happened to me. why?
it's really incredible.
i met my frens, who are really long lost and did not meet for a long long time d... frens during my secondary schools.. i mean form 1 and form 2...

well, i am glad to meet them. At first, i was scared, cuz i;m scared that we do not know what to talk about??!!!? but... things turn better.

Cass called me and wanted to show me her wedding photo at 3 something, i almost fell asleep.. cuz i'm watching cartoon...(as usual)
so, she came and no parking... then, we decided to go out lo. we went to JJBT. the vietnamese restaurant to hv our lunch-Tea? I consider that as Tea-Di actually.... ha! maybe my Lunch-Di? ha!
ate the vermicelli there.. i like it!!

guess what, my expenses today is paid by her too... by credit card. WOW!

ok, she insisted that she wants to pay... so... ok lo..

we chatted like the old days...

we went JJ poartly because of Karen. Cass has promised to meet her at JJ. so... we went there lo. Chatted a lot of things....
and i realized that.... everything changes. good or bad? maybe it's good?
yup, but me and cass.. we never had "no topic" to talk. never.
She told me everything lo...about her life, her carreer, her love life.... and... those intimate things between her and her husband..(not all la... just simple simple de..)

we chatted.

then we decided to go for movie while waiting for KAren's appearance. Yup, today is the first time i met her after form 5....
it's been a long time;
she's now working, and lately, Cass got her contact back and to inform her about her wedding... cuz they were really.... close frens last time.

We bought movie tickets... yup, she paid again. haiz.... pai se la..
On this incredible day, we watched incredible hulk!!
Gosh... nice movie!!! i love the animation and the action!!! i think it's better than the first one. haha!

After watching, then Winnie called Karen .. cuz Cass already asked her out and wanted to show her the photo also... but too bad, Cass passed her laptop and photos to her mom right after we bought the ticket.

WE chatted quited long infront of Winter times.. ah! at last, Winnie felt weird and say..:" how long are we going to stand here chatting ar??"

so, we've decided to go to Old Town lo...

Tell you wat... most of my friends gain weight, terribly..
i'm not proud of myself... haha!! Karen actually wanted to go to Fitness first after the movie, but she ended up exercising by sitting and chatting at Old Town... haha!

my old frens.. they've changed. they were very nasty and naughty last time, but now, some get married, some working, and... i think their attitude gets better....?!?
In contrast, those frens who are quite "guai" last time... has turned to be a "lala" now... sakit hati when i heard one of my frens actually changed.. she was a brilliant student... but now, involved in drugs and ecstasy.. so, life and ppl are un-predictable.

so....

what u see now may not be the future...

cuz... Winnie, she's one of the person that i dont really like during my secondary year. I dont really talk much with her.. cuz, i dont like her lo...

but now, she's funny, quite kind, hilarious. and she's married now. All of us talked very sampat... like old days.. the jokes, laughter... and we were the last to leave OLD town. Gosh.... Our drinks only Rm20 le.. haha!!

Those who are maried, they share their marriage, those who are working, they share their experience. I still remember Winnie's face when i told her that i am still studying. She said :" huh? i tot u're working?you're still studying ar? studying what ar??" haha... i answer her one by one la..


She told us..and make us laugh.. like crazy. i think the Old town... is noisy because of us.

well, they made me realize that i am lucky... cuz i get to study lo.. and i'm sure i dont want to lead their life. Anyway, they have their problems too. Imagine, winnie get married at the age of 18. now 3 years d. Cass, married d... she's the age of mine.
Karen, single but not available, she has a very loyal BF.
Me?

they ask me to find one.... cuz they say, it's about time to start, and when i graduate, it's just nice to get married. haha!!!

of course, as usual, i told them the "pang sai" thing lo.

Today, i really feel incredible and i just wanna write it out. cuz i dont think i'll tell this to other ppl who dont know me.
I dont really talked just now, but i laugh a lot.

it's like....you 're really stress-free in your working life. they are so free.. but.. they wish they could study more.
i wont force myself to blend into them. i wont.
definitely.

cuz i know, i am what i am now. but it's true that some of the things they talked, i really had no idea about it. but i just accept.
The good thing is, they made me see the contrast between them and those who were really "guai" last time,
They really know how to think now....

i cant deny that they are at different stage of life, though they are not really educated, i still respect them. somehow, they have some values that i can learn and it's worth to learn.
I'm glad, they are not that bad though... haha!!! not anymore!


Really sorry and pai se to Let MC keep waiting at my house.... she passed me the free tickets to the Amway Convention!!
yaya!!!!!! JJ!! I'll go!!!!

Cass, i think she really valued our friendship... though i dont really talk about myself with her. cuz she thought of me whatever things that happened.

anyway, we are old friends huh! haha....

REally glad to meet them back. i doubt that it will last....
but i am still happy to see them.
at least we are not "speechless" type.



-----------------------------------====================---------------------------------

ok, Julene told me today...
Baby Rachel very notty le...
she said, yesterday whe she sleeps, around 12 am... she felt her nose very pain... very very pain, near the sinus part. and she jumped up because of the pain...!! haha!
what happened???

Baby Rachel inserted her finger into Julene's nose!!!! my goodness!!! Julene said :" imagine her finger so tiny, and she inserted her finger deep into my nose!! it was very pain u know!! and i was very tired!!!! and you know what she did? she laughed like that day she laughed, ugly laugh.... laugh summore le!!!! i was so tired!!! then i scolded her and sleep again... then you know what she did next?? she keep pulling my hair, like pulling grass from the ground!! aiyo!! my head so painful! and she laughed everytime she pulled my hair...! I should've beat her hand yesterday.. but i was too tired.."

I was... laughing like hell!!!! i can really imagine the situation!!! ha!
yup, Rachel now likes to sleep in between Julene and Jerry...
that's why she get to poke Julene's nose... my gosh!!!

my little angel so naughty.... ha!!!


what happened.... haiz...

haha! anyway,ok lo..

oh ya, Kavitha is off 2mr... ok, it should be today.. it's 12am now.. and guess what!!! Kuhan is going to day care!!!!!! just along Kavitha's house, the corner house, from morning 7.30 to 12pm. haha!!! Kavitha cannot imagine what will happene but she said Kuhan will definitely cry., so she called up the day care and asked whether she needs to stay there till 12pm onot, and they teacher said :" no need, you just leave him here and come at 12 to pick him up"

Kavitha was worried cuz once he cried, habislah.... but the teacher said that she knows how to handle and asked Kavitha not to worry... Kavitha can imagine Kuhan yelling :" mummy, mummy ar, mummy!!" haha!!!!

so, let's just see what happened to Kuhan 2mr la... well, the news will only come to me on WEdnesday, that is only if i dropped by there. haha!

Oh ya, I've shopped something incredible with the 70% discount sticker... my gosh!!! i cant believe that i did that!! i went there alone!! i did everything alone last Sunday!!!!!! Gosh!! the things i bought, i think it's far far far far more below the cost price... my gosh!@!!! "dishhhh" punch me!!!

yup, i know it's sinful, and i knw if i save from there, i'll definitely lose on somewhere else.. haha!!! and it's happening to me now!!! ha!

anyway, Julene also bought Rachea a car seat at Rm 200... haha! she couldnt stick the 70%... haha!! and the car seat, it's on promoter basis... so, cant really cheat.

I still couldnt believe that i bought the things at a low price@!!!!!!

and i'm quite disappointed on that day cuz i couldnt find the things that i wanted to buy.....
haiz... should've bought it earlier.. but... ha! nvm la, cuz... i've bought something else to replace the things that i wanted to buy! haha!

wanted to go KTV this Wednesday.... but it's pathetic to sing alone... Worse to worse, i'll go alone lo.... haha!!!
i feel like singing now le....ha!
k la, it's late d..( though it's not late for me)
wanna go wash up and continue my cartoon!!!!! ha!!

oh ya!! i love Vick's song!!! and he is so damn talented!!! though the Ep now has only a few songs, but i love his musics. He can write, mix, and sing. gosh.... !!!

told ya, i'll support Malaysian Artist from now on. And only for those who can write and sing. As i said before, if an artist dunno how to write but sing, so, it depends on how good the impression the singer leave on me lo.....

like Yoga lim... haiz.. i like him but i dont wanna like him now. cuz whatever i like, HL will like it too. I think i hv to start fancy indian songs d.... see whether she likes onot, If she likes it and knows how to sing along ar, die lar....
cuz she is...... really doing something to blend into me life.

so far, she had added new songs into the desktop and know what??!!!??? those songs... i had it long ago, liked it before, and now still hv some of it in my phone.... and i feel geram lo. why? she says :" yor, i like all these songs very much le!!!!" yuckss....
and she even typed in the lyrics into the Windows media player... darn.
feel like deleting all the songs in my phone that the desktop has..
eeeww,....

I may be a maniac and may sound like a maniac by doing that, but..... hello, who the hell are you to do something which is not you and attempt to interrupt me life and muah babe's (babi) life when you cant even spiak proper Ing-e-lis-ie???
Dont force me to communicate Ing-e-lish-ie with you le.. i'll talk to others using ing-e-lish-ie...and with talk hard hard words then you know!!! hmmph~!!

but accept it la, i dont think we hv common topics lo...
so, i'll still keep you at leg's length, not ARM's LENGTH!!!! hahahahahahahahahaha!!!! Dumb Onion so bad...


it's a long long blog and i may sound like bullshitting... but... haha! click "close" lo,if you are tired of reading... ha!

oh ya, see the new pig? i wanted to create a sheepig but.... too bad, there's no hybrid like the sheepig which is by my side now.
so, i found something similar... not really similat but colour wise, yes. ha!!
i've decided to name the pig "dumbo" as it sounds like Dumb.O. haha!!!
Tickle her and play with her la..

she'll get dirty. haha!!!


I may be nasty today... but i am normal though caffein is working in my brain now.

yup, my stomach is aching now... and i am SO DAMN AWAKE!!!!!

k la, go "put put" and watch football...plus cartoon.



Muahahahahahaha!!!!

i miss Stupiak Girl's farting sound... i mean her voice la.. ha! hope she enjoys her study and work hard for everything la... her journey has not begun yet... but, i hope she'll try her best in everything and dont be stubborn, and dont take things for granted. Any doubts, open the smelly mouth and ask the lecturer, or friends till they pengsan. haha!!! :-) and..... always remember, you'll never leave footprints if you're only walking with your tip toe. this is important.

k la.
my stomach is really aching now....


cant wait for this Sunday!!!!!!!

Adieu!!!
annyiong!!

DuM DUM DUM DUM DUMb!

ok.. i came home from movie and there is no one... it's midnite now!!!!!
i went movie with my friends, bro went out with bro for movies also but dunno dekat mana..
mum and dad sleep like as though nothing is happening.. they sleep SO PEACEFULLY!!

and me?? regretted...for coming back so early, and start blogging!!!! duh!!!

watched KungFu Panda at last... damn bro!! dun wanna accompany me... hmmph!
well, it's a nice movie and i think i should watch the cantoneese version too.haha!
PO was cute!!!
i like Thai Long, when he was a baby...

haha!!

and can u believe that?? it involves an amount of ppl which can form a WHOLE CITY to produce the movie. and it took 2 years!!!!! to finally come out with it!!!
AWESOME!!!!

the animation, damn!! it's brilliant!

i came back from training quite late today, cuz me, cat, and bros were chatting with Sir after class. Again, he thought us... perhaps, i've learnt a good lesson today. i am glad. and i am surprise with the way he handle things... and i am very proud to hv a master, a fatherly master... to be my life mentor.

No one really understands how respectful i am to him. Anyway, he seen me grow, from a kinakia to a tuah lang... haha!! and he opens up my mind and taught us the principle of life. I guess part of me came from him.

yes, he's a good mentor.



Today is a busy saturday. as usual, my Saturdays are always busy. except for public hols. hehe..
yup, Sue asked me once, "can you sacrifice ur TKD and work for me ar??"

erm.. i straight away tell her :" nope, for saturdays, i work accordning to ALL OR NONE Rule. If i work on saturdays, i'll make sure i'll go tkd too. No way anyone can ask me to skip something which is important to me??. that's why...the only day that i can skip tkd is during public hols. but too bad la, life care is closed during public hols too."

yup, i told her that lo.
not melampau rite?

You can ask me to do anything, or settle everything for you, ut when it comes to something that is important to me, i'll FRIMLY reject.
that's me.

Hui Ling....

haha! sorry to say, she failed to blend in and i am laughing at a corner now. ha! bad la, i'm bad.
but that day.... my gosh. i feel so weired with her existence. really weired.
but i just ignore it. :-)


Yolk asked me bout my friend's incident which i wrote on my frenster blog..she is curious. well, what can i say? i am sad to lose a journey mate like her.
everytime i looked at the chair in front of me, i feel sour...
like i said, everyone knows what's best for them... i believe, she knows what she did was what's best for her.
May God Bless Her.


Mummy's friend is coming 2mr, to visit us????????
i tak mau!!!!
cuz mum says she'd bought ME the stupid sticker to stick on the eye lid which can form double eyelid!!!!!
DARN!!! I dont want le!!!!
I know i am Dumb, but i am not DUMB to that extend till i need someone to CREATE a double eyelid on my eyes!!! eh, hello!~my eyes now are my mum's dream eyes le!! she DREAMT of it during her pregnancy!!!! that's why, i am the only one with this kind of eyes..(pointing at my own eyes) i'm proud k!!!!
GOSH....

felt intruded again....
so... i guess... i am going to avoid her 2mr...
haha!!!
i think i wanna go to Jusco, cuz SERENE will be there for some sort of charity!!!
hehe...
i'll ask my boss for lunch, find some reason to avoid her. and bye! see you in another year!!!!
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! devil-nya DumbOnion...ha!

what to do??

I can hear my eyes singing : " When you look me with your eyes, tell me that you love me...."
sob sob!!!!
haha!

eh, i really feel an unusual silence without my brothers stupid voice...
but thank god i did not went out with them... why>>>??? cuz i dont need to pay for everything!!!! my brothers are crocodiles!!! they cant seem to get FULL easily!! and i'll be pok kai by buying them popcorns ONLY!!!!
ha!
(I'm actually trying to make myself better for not joining them for movies.... ha!)


oh ya, some shocking news which didnt come to my mind before I really thought of it...CLOSELY.
PFion still comes to LC and buy Organon M'cilon.
i was like.. ok, PFion.. as usual la...

but when i think closely.... isnt she??? divorce???? why need M'cilon????

gosh...
please tell me it is not true.....

I am still avoiding the truth.. which is now still unveiled.
maybe Stupiak Girl was right...
She told me to accept the truth which is in front of the tip of my nose. Even if you avoided it.. the truth is still the truth...

just that i chose not to believe it.... sob!

ok... maybe she tk M;cilon for her skin prob?lol!!!

I know.. Yes, i am doing it again!
cant help it...ha!

anyway.......
haiz.. just leave it la.
no. i am not disappointed...
just that.... this incident has draw me back a few steps to think....is she's still the one i know? or i am the one changing?
confused.... i rather that i am the one who changed..


Love is all around... and i feel that love is all around and it had caused lot's of disaster by existing everywhere.
Love makes impossible possible... see what it means??
yes, it is so powerful... and no one could stop it.. unless u shave urself up to be a monk or nun??!!?

i'm tired of this. hate to think and imagine all the possibilities that could be happening.


ok.. one last paragraph...
something which i found it's meaningful.

" the past is history, future is a mystery, and today is a gift! that's why it is called PRESENT!"
this is quoted by MAster Ooogway (wu gui, tortoise in chinese) to Master Shifu when Shifu refuse to accept the Fat PO as student and the Dragon Warrior.

and ... it strikes me.. and it made me thought of a lot of things. :-)

Adieu!
bienvenida et la vida...
buenos noche!! tata!