finally.

i finally understand wht is the feeling of having suicidal thought..

I’ve finally understand how does it feel like to cry whole day long, and havent even stop for a minute.

I’ve finally understand how does it feels like to have no chance to strive for what they want..

I’ve finally understand what is the feeling of being scolded and asked to get lost by the one you love.

I’ve finally understand the toughness of being loved.

I’ve finally understand how does a broken heart feels like..

I’ve finally understand the feeling to be told who i am and what i ought to be.

I’ve finally understand the feeling of numbness emotionally…

I’ve finally understand how does it feels to be so un-belonged.

I’ve finally understand how does it feels to hurt the one you love and to be hurt by the one you love…

 

Perhaps, i shall be a deaf,dumb, blind puppet who do whatever i am asked to do.

 

I’ve finally understand the feeling of non stop tears flowing through the cheeks without any reasons…

I hate myself. If and only if death is the solution……

drinking night with..

okay, yesterday was a blast.. cuz…. we had this drinking session where Eliz bought a bottle of wine instead. hahah!!!! =)

So, the night started off at 12am. =)

 

so yeah.. these are the partners and victims of DRINKING NIGHT! haha!

 

We played blackJack,we took turns to be banker, and whoever lose, will take shots of wine!! =) hahaha!! this is fun!!!

DAtin Red turned REALLY RED after a few shots.. (yeah, she kept losing and having TOAST to herself most of the time). LOL! Pity Eliz, there’s none of the rounds that she doesn’t need to drink!! (bad Feng Shui!! damn proven!), Bain,cool guy, get lightheaded after a few shots. =) waliao!!! Kuen? aiya…. Wine is nothing to HER. LOL!

                   

Merlot wine. NICE! =) haha!!! the glasses are the SHOT GLASSES. =)

 

                            

the whole freaking night, she was trying to get the best shot of the WINE BOTTLE ANGLE.. k la, forgive her, she was drunk. LOLs!

 

                                         

                              

I dunno how i get this shot… haha!!! Fugly… hahah!

 

keep drinking, keep drinking…… LOLs!!

 

I guess i was kinda lucky yesterday. =) cuz… i did not drink that much shot… haha!! FEng  SHui huh? Eliz???

 

                                     

BAin showing some magic skillz…. HE is a big time gentlemen. =) and a nice guy to hang out with. =)

 

                          

Eventually, HER Face, HEr chest, is the same colour as her SHIRT and her mini Dolly Perkin’s bag at the back. hahaha!! She was SO DAMn RED!! Feeling FIre Burning HOT on her face!!! =)

 

                                          

can’t really see how red she is in the pic, but.. seriously she was very very RED! =)

 

and the funny thing is, she talks non sense and laughed non stop. LOL!!!=)

 

                                    

Pouring SHOTS. =) hahaha!!!!

 

So.. that was our wonderful night. =)

 

I think eventhough its only 4 of us, we had fun!! we shall have the HARD LIQOUR GAME after finals!!!! =) hahahahaha!!!!

My reaction towards wine.. nah, I’m a cool girl who doesnt knw the feeling of getting drunk and hangover. Cuz i’ll never have one. LOLs!!!!!

I think 3 of them had fun!!! =) and i had fun too!!!! =)

Wonderful night, WOnderful wine, WOnderful nonsense laugh, wonderful ppl EQUALS TO WONDERFUL LIFE.

 

Going back in the afternoon!! YAY!!!! =)

Study break and study marathon starts. BUCKLE UP! GET SET!!!  ZZZZZZzzzzzzzZZZZZZZzzz Snore first…. hahahahhaha!!!

A message.

shootted my mugging technique on some notes!! “poof poof”!!

“DAmn, she is bulletproof….” In love with iyaz and Jason Derulo, their songs are just brilliant!!

I knw that it’s FIFA season.. okay, i didnt really knw it till Sher told me a few weeks ago that FIFA has started!!! so, she sent me the FIFA theme song immediately!! hey, i love this song!!!

The version i had in muh phone is just K’naan version only. The video above is K’naan with DAvid Bisbal! anyway, it’s nice too!! =)

 

So, FIFA started. I’ve heard all the comments from the media, from my friends.. from everyone!! how good is this team, how bad is that team… LOL! Ah Kuen is literally not interested in balls but she supports Arsenal? hahaha!!

I am much an ignorant girl? hehe… nah, I read on Footballs news too… Mmm… if and only if the picture on the newspaper attracts me!! haha!!!

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can i repost this again??? from SHer..

“I am being a goodie girl.. staying at home tonight!”

hahaha!! =)

 

I miss Black Magic roti canai now… =) knw that i have no chance to eat it this weekend. =) Mmm…. I have more important task to complete this weekend. =) haha!!! It’s again a lot of emotions to deal with. Sooner or later, i have to face this. *biting lips* – I’m scared.

The fear is there, yet the courage is there too. Contradicting…~~

It’s true that at the turning point of life, there are so many things to deal with. First is Emotion, second is family, third is your own determination, what comes fourth? yeah.. it’s how you present yourself in the future after the decision been made at the turning point. =)

Well, i still believe that i will get through this. =)

My dear houssie was being sad and disappointed. Mmm… will pray for him as well, i hope he has get over the sadness and move on. =) He is such an intelligent guy. =) I’m sure that he can do it. =)

As i said in earlier post, today is a peaceful day to me, despite of the disasters… gah, i’m facing it now. =) hehe… nah, I’m fearless. I knw i can do it. =)

 

So, i hope that your day is as good as mine.

“When you reach the end of the rope, tie a knot and hang on”

Typical quote from Chean. Love her lots!! i miss her too… U need to understand it well… =) it has different meaning to different individual. =)

 

Okay, the rumors of Ms Penny is leaving is getting more and more. Just like i predicted??? hahaha!! nah, I dun think she will read my blog. Anyway, just wanna dedicate this paragraph to her :

Ms PeiNee, You have been a wonderful lecturer. I dun really knw the reasons why you are leaving, but if it’s because of the Mother, i understand. Where ever you go, i wish you all the best. Good luck in your future undertakings. I’m sorry if I’m wrong about you leaving… however, quite sure that i’m right, cuz u’ve been acting kinda different this sem.(based on how u’ve performed last few sems) =) Needless to say, u are one lecturer who had fought for student’s right. Even though u’ve failed to succeed in debating with Mother, dun worry. We knw who cares and who doesnt care for us. WE, generation Y is always different from Generation X. haha!! i’m sure Dr Lim would bow his body down to this statement. Keep being active in FB ya!!! Best regards. =)

 

End-of-my-post.

nites peeps!

 

Can’t wait for 2mr night!!! will be having a superbly fun drinking session!!! haha!! time to GET DRUNK! =)

Couch potato.

I feel like a potato! Gosh…. the potato name of mine came true today! sigh.

What happened huh??? I ate the best Dim Sum in Sri Petaling today!! especially the chicken nest pau! hahahah!!!

then.. i watched movie till NOW!!!! doing nothing!!!! I am really worry-free despite of what happened just now. Mmm…

time just fly, i had no regrets doing what i did. I just sit in front of the laptop, watch movies, FB… hahaha!! what a life. yeah, it would be my last day doing this. Tonight, I’m starting my battle. =) yeah!!! tonight is a long good night! =)

Watched INDECEDNT PROPOSAL, American Idol, and Shrek 3!! woohoo!! i love the idols this week!!!! they are awesome!!! =)

 

I’m gg back this Saturday!! yay!

 

So, This Sunday is a bless…

 

I’m having a great day!!!! I hope you too!

 

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I’m rotting at home… rotting, as in ROTTING. haha!!!!

and i enjoy this kind of life….. and i knw it cannot last long. =)

 

Peepsie! have a nice day!!!

 

FEarless… in me.

There is why i undergo all these. I knw…  I won’t give up easily. For sure. =)

Wonderful day. =)

I finally understand what does REDEEMED means. Seriously, i don’t quite understand it last year, but now… i knw it well. Yes, I am redeemed! =)

 

Thank God for a wonderful day. Okay, i literally screwed up my QA paper by crapping through the answers.. however, my confidence is not shaken. Actually, i have nothing to fear, I’m just going to do my best, that’s all. =)

My life as a student, Mmm…. quizzes just ended today. I am Quiz free but i have finals to prepare. =) haha!!!! I can’t believe that next week will be my last week in Klang! How do i feel? I do have a number of ppl whom i wanna meet these 2 weeks. =) I hope everything goes fine la.

I still cannot believe that my journey has been so far so wonderful. Nothing is impossible…

I do hope that my dear Aunty J will help me out on this… if she happens to see or read my previous posts.

I’m in an extremely lazy state today. Nah, i’ve decided to have a stress-free day.. Just for today. =) 2mr, My battle for my finals will start. No time to waste though. =)

 

The preach of the WORM story still ringing in my head. =0 owh, i dunno why. It kept reminding me that i have to be humble for everything and love everyone. =)

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LAck of sleep has been part of my life. It happens frequently this sem. Gah… how i wish i have 40 hours a day.haha!!!

Till today, i still feel that they are trying to avoid the conversation with me. Owh, i need to love them to understand me.. Not understand them to love me. Perhaps, this is a light path that i get?

Sometimes, i don’t really understand how does things work for me. Holy Spirit huh? yeah, probably! Anyway, i knw that there is a purpose why am i being called. owh, i’ve been loving myself and my father even more than ever. =)

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I’ve watched a movie on pps, so far for my time out. I hardly have time for movie, alone. Perhaps, If no one wants to watch with me this weekend, I would like to experience it again… Movie alone..

Gosh, if Ms Red sees this, she will say “ YOu DON”t NEED TO DO EVERYTHING ALONE, OKAY!!!” haha!!! She is acting DAMN CUTE these few days. =) and she hates ppl calling her cute. LOLs!

It’s true, I’ve been doing things alone. okay, come on and stand on my shoes.. how can i not do things alone?? I dont wanna ring or text anyone just because i am lonely or just because i have nothing else to do. Perhaps, I am being too independent.. and it turns out to be not a good thing.

Anyway, i am not always lonely. Or should i say, i am not lonely. =)  thanks to My beloved AL who texts me almost every single day, regardless saying good night, or good morning. (hey gal, love you lots). I think, emotional wise, me and her are the same type of person. woohoo…. knw me well to understand this la! =)

see? sometimes its because of the sense of being at home makes me laze. Home is always the best place to hide. haha!! nah, i don’t hide, i just like spending time at home.

I have this week to settle my unsettled problem. I hope everything goes fine. I will take it slow… it reminds me of some quote :" “ GOD did not do everything in one day, what makes you think you can?”

Yeah, slowly.. no rush Kuen! –=)

Its 9pm. nice hour to watch another movie and sleep. Spare me for a day! =) I need a recharge. =) If not, I’ll go cuckoo!

okay, its time for me to end this post.

 

P.S : I just love walking with him…. it makes me feel safe. I’m so in love!!! haha!!!!

 

P.S.S: iPod!!! iPOD!!!!!!!

Just a very quick update!

Quick update, slept at 330am. GOSH! Phone batt died off and i literally studied at Ms. Red’s place till 3am…  sobs…

She asks me to wake up at 5am and wake her up, haha!! i refuse to.. anyway, i cannot wake up also. Well, I’ve decided to wake up at 730am. Here i am, washed up, clean and fresh! =)

I am so damn lack of sleep! Class till 3.30pm today. Mmm…. I seriously wanna sleep through the whole day after quiz!!!

okay la, just a quick update, wanna brainstorm before i go to class later. =)

 

Peeps, happy day ya!!

God bless all of you!!

 

Mmm, downloaded some songs yesterday, from HILLSONG again!! gosh, the 2009 album is nice!!!!  I still like this kind of worshiping songs rather than RAp, Rock, Pop.. ok la, although they are not bad, but… it’s too shallow to me. The things that they wanna portray in the song is too shallow. I still love HillSong and Chris Tomlin kind of songs~!! =)

 

Time to go off!! Mug again. =)

 

P.S : He shall reign…Yahweh. Cool one from HS! =)

My favourite Sport- tAekwondo

Those who knw me well, I love Taekwondo very very much and it has been part of my life. Now, I am an assistant instructor and waiting for the right time to start my very own class.

how do i start this sport? I started since i was Standard 4. That time, Brochures were circulating around, so I took the brochure back and showed my parent. My parents thought that it will be good that if ME, a girl know how to defend myself, and for a better health. Of course, another alternative thought of them, so that i can lose weight. Owh yeah, i was very very plum, or should i say FAT? haha!

My association is World Taekwondo Association, the only association that Olympic approved. Yeah, Olympic practices WTF’s poomse (taegeuk) or patterns, and sparring according to WTF rules.

So, i started with white belt, passed all the way through.. Yellow belt (Taegeuk 1 and 2), Green Belt (Taegeuk 3 and 4), Blue belt (TAegeuk 5 and 6), and Red belt ( Taegeuk 7 and 8), Black belt (1st dan, Koryo,  2nd dan-Kyong-gang, and 3rd dan,Taebek).

I still rmbered the first day i signed up with my brother. Both of us were newbies.. we grow and pass together. =)

So, i am now in my 20s, TAekwondo has been with me for more than 10 years now.  Along the way, I met a lot of people and they have became my fighting buddies now.

About the training, it has never been easy. All the stamina build up, running, practicing kicks, the poomse… the wins and loses…

anyway, Training sessions are the sessions i enjoyed the most. If not, why would i still continue it? eventhough I am here, pursuing my degree? =)

               

These are my pals that i’ve made, we’ve known each other since we’re young. =)

 

           

My partners. I like sparring with them.

 

Owh, I am the eldest (seniority wise) over there, before they joined, i always have guys as my sparring opponent. =)

After getting my black belt, i start pursuing my interest as a referee. I am a STATE REFEREE too. =) I am now attending competition as a judge, and am going to pursue for NAtional Referee soon. =)

 

             

this is the team of referees. =)

 

                           

this is what we do…. =) a judge in a competition, and a person who make sure that the match is fair. =)

 

Taekwondo actually helps me to build my confidence, and my attitude. I never give up easily without trying. This attitude of mine, i build it true failures, pain, and injuries that i had during training. Besides, my stamina is never ordinary. My size is a bit plum than others, but i have a fit stamina. =)

TAekwondo builds me. This is definitely a truth. The toughness in me was built over time. =)

                              

 

 

Well, you will always need this to prevent sweaty sweaty sensation. =)

                                         

Project Alpha Season 2 is presented by Adidas Action 3 and supported by P1 and MAS.