P.S I love you.

I just cant concentrate. After this post, I’m gg to just off everything and MUG!

I was in a not that good condition this morning. I practically ZONE OUT!! My mind was wandering. haha!!!

So, Yesterday was a turning point in my life. Today, i woke up, a voice in me asking me not to give up. =)

Things change, people change. however, for better of course. I have confidence that i am going to convince and prove to them. I am not afraid. You might think that this is just another friend’s influence, but let me make this clear. This is HIS influence this time. I knw, i knw. Deep in the heart of you still hope that i’ll turn back, or be who i used to be.

Since we were young, we weren’t being brought up in a strong faith family, so now, for once, let me pursue what i want. =) For my sake, I knw that you will be understanding enough to see and feel how i feel. I knw how you feel,You might feel disappointed and keep asking questions like WHY? HOW? WHEN?  but.. my feeling is so strong that i couldnt stop myself from denying this feeling anymore.

Do you not think that i tried to move back? That period of time, I really feel miserable cuz i don’t knw what am i, where am i.. where do i belong…

I really hope you will read this, which i think it’s impossible. If and only if you’re more sensitive about us.

Dun worry, this path is not a bad way.. Its just me, whom have found a way which i belong. I still love you like how i used to be, and now… I love you even more.

Where does my life leads to? I always believe that it is arranged. This week is another challenge to me.

I wanna hold on to this love. It is so true, amazing. Like i said, i love you very very much, so.. let me hold on for once, okay?

Without you realizing it, i am at the stage of adulthood and it’s time to decide where should i go, and where should i head to. If you are worried about me, don’t be. This is not a ROTTEN route. 

Never in my life, my feeling is so strong. All i ask, is the permission for you to let me pursue what i want in life. =)

       

 

On the other hand, I’m starting another new journey. I am thrilled, as i am moving towards a way that my heart was lead to.

Okay, this is the last post that i express how i feel. I will purely update on myself on my next post. =)

 

                                       

Picture says a thousand words huh?? =) I agree. =)

 

 

 

P.S I Love you.

WORMS. Worth to read.

I wanna thank Chean for being so supportive on sharing her testimony with me. Love her lots as my blurrest ALO! =)

Honest speaking, i feel different today. --->ALIVE.

For me, things are changing bits by bits now. My faith, my journey, my future. but still, i will walk by faith.

It is really blessed to be loved. I need more time to prove to them and to share. Well, one thing’s for sure, my life will never be the same again.I am learning, still learning. This is just a test on how much i could hold on to my faith. I will not give up.

Okay, I want to write about the WORMs, Let me share something with you all.

We, humans are worms. WORMS are actually species which  consumes everything around them when they’re in the soil, they take everything, use everything, and they don’t really contribute. Just like us. Cows contributes cheese, milk, meat, gee, fats.. Trees contribute fruits, bark, stem, leaves, oxygen, but us? we do not contribute anything at all. WE eat the cow, eat the fruits, drink their milk… okay, if Human were to contribute their milk to the cow, when the cow drinks it, it will die. So, what are human contributions??? We’re worms. Even worms feed on us. When there’s a body, the worms will change the body into fluid, worms will grow, until the body left skeleton. When the worms have nothing to feed, the worms consume each other. Big worm eats the small worm,and eats smaller worm.. at the end, one big fat worm left. The only worm then will perish and tht’s the end of metamorphosis. Can you relate it to us?humans? We consume things, consume anything around us.. until we have nothing left, we grab people, corrupt them, and “eat” them up,control them.. End up? we will still die with nothing carried with us. Just like a worm. That’s so much for the Human and worm.

however, We should learn from worms too, why? have you ever wonder why worms doesnt have names? Think of it, even dogs, cats, horses, cows.. have names, Worms?? Nothing!!! but… Worms are the benefiting species. When there’re worms, there’s life. Eventhough they dun have any names or status in the chain of nature, but they have the largest contribution. They fertililize the soil, they can turn rock into soil, they turn anything into soil. Worms are humble, arent they? they live deep down inside the soil, helping mother nature quietly without anyone noticing it…

When HE dies, He died as a scarlet worm. Scarlet worm is a worm which will pledge themselves on a bark, lay eggs, cover the eggs and die. When it dies, it became purple colour. So, the baby worms will feed on the scarlet worms body and grow as worms. (it means, Christ died for our sin so tht we’ll live) =)

Shouldnt we live like a worm? eventhough we dun have the status, names, Datuk, tAn sri, or whatever whatever, we still work and benefit the nation. Eventhough you have names, you will still die like a worm. Worms.. will still consume your body and what are you? You cant take your money, your fame, everything that you build with you into the soil.

So, Humans = worms'; Worms are creature that consumes everything around it, grab whatever that is beside it… tk and tk and tk, and consume. In return, worms actually benefit the nature by working the soil, turn everything hard eg. rocks into fertile land. As human, we shouldnt just take. We have to give as well. The more you consume, the more you have to give. The more you give, the better it is because the bigger the reward you’ll get.

Unfailing love of scarlet worm, so unreserved. died and feed the baby worms.

As a part of the nation, we have the responsibility to love others and contribute. =)

So, that’s much for my worm story. It actually acts as an eye opener to me and it makes me realize a lot of things. Scarlet worm’s love is just so true… =)

Blessed resurrection day everyone!

adapted from Ps.Henry. =) great one. =)

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For once, let me decide the path of my life. If i was given a choice, I will still walk the path that i’m walking now. =)

 

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Owh…. Clash of the Titans, why do you suck? haha!!!!

 

P.S : AL, sorry for the FFK. I really couldnt meet you up. Movies next week perhaps? LOLs! (again, no promises). =)

P.S.S : I’m okay. =) no worries. Meals next week? =)

P.S.S : hey bro, have fun studying in Dungun! thanks for being so damn supportive!! You are one cute stupid fellow!!! who replied me “BRA” when i sent you “BRO…” sweat………….. haha!

waves of emotions.

I dunno how to put my day into words. I am definitely having a scary weekend. How on earth people can make something so innocent into words? I am seriously nauseated.

Today is the day that i break myself out. Thanks Ms. Red for the advise. My heart felt just so warm. I’ll take my time. Owh, I’ve met Mrs Andrina today!! Gosh, such a long time since i’ve met her. =)

A new day, a new life. =) Have a blessed resurrection day.

 

I’ve caused a lot of hurtings today. Why is it so hard to pursue what i want?

I seriously dunno what drives me, but there’s a sense of power, strength in me pushing me there. i felt it. I really felt it.

It’s a lot of feelings to me, seriously a lot.

I dont wanna do or see anyone else till i settle my stuff. I have to cut it clear once and for all. I might be cruel, but… yeah la.

This afternoon was crazy. Scared the shit out of me. I am in deep shit. It seems like everyone is avoiding each other. I am thinking of a way to present myself.. too bad, i dun quite knw my stuff!!! Tht’s why!!!!!!

I’ve pull out from meetings, outings today. I am so sorry to my friends. I hope you all understand my situation.

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Met Ju today, well… she is waiting for delivery. I am glad. I’ve thought of what to give this little baby. =) haha!! but it costs me a lot. Mmm… for his sake, i will give.=)

My cousin’s sis’s baby due on JUNE!! yay!! I wanna buy a  lot of things for the baby, i always ask her to give me a niece or nephew, now.. I’ve got one!!! hahah!!!!

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It’s weird. I can’t wait to go back to birdnest……

 

sigh…………………………..

 

“do not tk this as a hindrance, dun worry. tk your time.  =)” – Datin Red.

tht’s why friends are very important.

 

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will be having a busy week. One more quiz to go before finals. Wish me all the best.

 

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Worms. WE are worms.

hard to understand? I’ll blog about it in my next post..  (hopefully my mood is still there)haha!

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This is the Dobok I need now..I like this very much!!! The one that i’m using, it’s already old. It costs RM 250, buy online, by pay pal. haha!!! maybe I should get this as my bday present??? or my next year new year’s present. =)

ok, my objective.. to get one new ADIDAS DOBOK by this year if possible! YAY! Too bad, I dunno what size I’m wearing… I think size 5.. Mmm…. =)

 

Nike is too expensive. PINE TREE is cheap but not comfortable. Adidas, nice, elegance, affordable.

think…

No life is without death, no life is without birth of course.

I am truly thrilled that something which i have been hesitating to do, I’m going to do it soon.It’s such a blessing.

Clearly, things are tougher than i thought. Seriously, it looks easy but it’s really so hard just to speak everything out. I plan to change my strategy, I’ll talk through action.

I don’t wanna live by name. I wanna live like I’m one of them, and be one of them. True to myself, true to our creation.

=)

I thought of something that we used to play when we were young and naive.

It’s about ranking your priority of life.

The question goes : How do you rank this in you life??

• money
• sex
• family
• lover
• religion
• cars
• house

How do you rank them???

okay, I let you think for a while….

….

……….

……….

……..

……………….

…………………….

……………………………………..

………………………………………………….

ok… make sure you really think of it. You can repost it in your blog though. Just for the sake of recalling your childhood period. hahaha!!!

 

Mmm, after all i knw i knw… my ranking right???

• religion
• family
• money
• lover
• then the rest of the list goes on without orders.

 

why?

No GOD, no human creation. No Family, then the rest.. you wont have it. Everyone needs a place to rely on. You might say, family, or lovers, or food, or even something else. But to me, the one who really can show you the right way. the right path, is religion. In short, HIM.

That’s what i’ve realized so far.

 

You might not agree with me, but… I have the right to spread HIS teachings and words. I am more contented now… mentally and emotionally.

 

Pamelo, love you. Pumpkin, Love you. Both of you do well in everything ya. Non stop prayers will come from me to both of you/ =)

 

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phuket, melaka, marathon, NOGAPS (AIMST), HERE I COME!!!!!!!!!

muahahahahah!!!!

I have the duty as an alarm clock today. so… good night peeps!!!

EAster in CHC.

Never thought that the feeling will be different after accepting HIM. This is true. Ms. REd is right.

I feel different.

In fact, I had a great time yesterday. I wasnt really bother to answer any calls or any messages because I was concentrating on the performance and service. I still believe that one can only concentrate in one thing at a time. =)

Anyway, i manage to reply messages and calls after that.

LOL, I think JOSIE(i miss this name) did not expect me to go?? cuz Sher ain’t going?? hahahha!!!

It was Good Friday. I wanna thank CHIA WEN for being such a nice HOST to me. Seriously, She is a loving, caring girl. Her family is great too. Consists of great ppl. I Feel very very comfortable with her and her family. =)

So, i went to CHIA WEN’s HOUSE at USJ 4. haha!!! Met a few new frens, and they are really cute and funny. =)

Reached church around 8pm after having dinner at the MEdan, gosh.. that place serves nice THAI FOOD!

You coulnt believe it that the QUEUE in City Harvest Church (CHC) was so long!! So many ppl!!! haha!!! I went there for a few times d, but.. i think Yesterday was the longest queue. Well, Thank God that This year is the last EASTER in CHC old building. They are shifting soon to another building which is bigger and can fit 2k of ppl. =)

So, our night started with getting into the CHC hall. IT WAs so packed.. but we manage to squeeze in..THe best is.. we get to be at the very first row, infront of the band! =)

                          

this is how near i am to them. haha!! I like it!

 

                            

My beloved friends!~ =) Kah Kit and Chia Wen.

 

                                  

You knw who’s that in GREY? He is Anthony Zheng Wei Kang!!  He sat in front of us after worshipping session. He is a faithful person. Every time i am there, he is always there. I think he is one of the leaders now. =)

Believe it or not, 颜婉蒨was there also. I didnt knw that she is one of the members there till yesterday. So, yeah la, so far for both of these Astro Star Quest winner. =)

 

                                           

see the crowd? Aeris and Sing Siang were at the very far end on top left. I’m kinda surprised that they came. =)

 

                           

Start of the performance. =)

It’s a drama, big production on the meaning of EASTER.

 

                    

 

                  

 

This is only part of the scene. The whole drama was around 1 hour plus. It was great. Better than last year’s EASTER performance. =)

 

HE is in me…. always, for eternity. =)

I feel different, seriously different than what i was last year. AT least, I feel that HE has landed fully in me, I’ve opened the door for possibilities. =)

 

Easter is the resurrection and rebirth of Jesus Christ. HE has been sent by GOD and died for us, washed away all the SINS, show us that WE DESERVE GOD because HE sent Jesus down, the son of GOD, to show us that GOD=Salvation=eternity=no time constraint.

I’ve definitely benefited a lot from the service yesterday. Several times, HE touched my heart.

Thank You GOD for showing me the way and delivered the message to me.

I will learn.

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once again, it is proven that the first decision is always the best.

(it still depends on situation ya!) hahaha!!!

 

Glad that mummy wants to come and see me, tht’s why I’ll be home a bit later. She wants to have lunch together with me in Cheras. =)

I think that this is a good opportunity. =) haha!!

 

Father and Mother, I Love You! =) that’s F.A.M.I.L.Y.  I knw you guys are going to be with me regardless who am i and who i’ve become.

 

 

 

P.S : I had overdose on eggs yesterday… AGAIN! No more proteins!!! haha!

Good Friday, HAppy EAster.

looking at my blogger draft, this is my 656th post since 2008. Mmm…. what a progress.

Today is GOOD FRIDAY, let me send a warm regard and wish to all the Christians out there…

Easter is a time of reflection and joy.
When we emerge from our cocoon
of doubt to fly freely
on the wings of faith.
May you be renewed and strengthened...
...in the promise of our Lord.

 

HAppy EAster day!! =)

 

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Why am i not looking forward to everything? Gosh, i am psyched!!!!

 

This month is the month where everything starts.  Again, i wonder, why am i on the list? I thought i was forgotten, till the extend that i lost my meaning on existing. Owh yeah, it was that bad. I almost made myself disappear. Believe it or not, I think i’m getting further away.. sort of like leaving on a jet plane. How can i chase myself back?

Is that everything that has been done made me feel this way? HOnestly, one more week.. just one more week… i will definitely walk away.. Walking away from something that i am familiar with, walking towards to something new for me.

I have no fate for the “one more week” instead.

 

I’m still glad that i actually “postpone” my plan to walk away. Anyhow, WHAT BECOMES OF A BROKEN HEART? haha!! mind me, i am not sad, just that there are certain things that had happened and i have to move on. =)

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Owh, it’s GOOD FRIDAY! I hope i get to go to the EAsTer Celebration tonight!!!!! =) Well, let’s see then!!! =)

 

Beautiful Saviour, deliver us.

Good day ya’ll.

A random thought… hehe.

I’m abusing myself with Drug Abuse now. Mmm… the night is seriously cold and I’ve been FFK-ed by Ms Red since afternoon.

I think  I’m going to sleep early today.. =)

Today, I’ve been wondering why our beloved Ms Wong has been so kind to us. YEs, in fact, she is the only lecturer that does THIS to us. Of course, i am thankful. I don’t know what others think or how they feel, but i think they are thankful to her too.

Seeing her doing all this makes me think of lots of possibilities. First, it might be that she is leaving soon. Tht’s why she wants to leave us with good grades.

Second, she is sick of the MOTHER! i wont say my MOTHER, but THE MOTHER! Sick of doing what she asked but end up sendiri yang kena.

Thirdly, she really want us to score. Since if she is not doing THIS, she is going to be screwed by THE MOTHER too, so why not help us and get screwed?

okay, maybe i think too much larrr…… or maybe what she wants is just to help us, purely US but nothing else.

 

Well, Ms Penny has been acting kinda weird. I dunno whether its because she is busy or it’s because she kena screwed, she no longer active on FB. haha!! see? I think too much right?

Whatever it is, She is just doing her job. Regardless following or disobeying the rules, she is is doing her job, which is to educate us and help us pass. =)

Thank You Ms Pei Nee!! =)

 

Time to go off, I’m going to sleep early today. hehe…. very early. Cuz i’m kinda tired.. (eventhough after nap)

 

What a day…. gah. Spent my whole day in the living hall, studying with my beloved housemate, WK. =) haha!!  Cute guy!!

ok, i need to brush up things before i sleep. still a bit more to go.

 

All the best in Drug Abuse!