Praise Him.

Today, had a great sunday despite of studying.

 

I was reading on cute cute’s blog. Owh well.. he is really an emo guy. How a person looked like from the outside is so much different that what the person may feel in the inside. I actually feel kinda heartbroken to see him that way. Probably the whole world seems like abandoning him, but… I still feel that each and everyone of us deserves a space in this world, and in each and everyone’s heart.

He is lonely.

yeah.. he is.

 

He reminds me of what Joshua told me. Well, he surprised me that day. He gave me one of his best teachings and conversation ever.. which I didn’t expect. I guess God is really good and awesome, He never fails to stop sending angels into my life.

Cute Cute reminded me of Joshua’s words. “You knw it yourself, when you knw Him, you don’t feel lonely anymore.. You know this feeling, especially before you sleep. You knw that you are not lonely and he is always with you.. I’m sure you understand your life before and after having Jesus in your life. right?”

I was again surprised by this statement. Yeah, I don’t feel lonely anymore, not even one second. Though I have great friends, like Si fatt, sor por,Ah beng,  my old buddies and old friends who really treasure me, I still feel that its God who sent them into my life for a reason. I might not see it now, but I I will. Nah, as long as we all appreciate each other now.

He gave me example of a pastor, went to a village where animism is a their religion, they worship the creator, in forms of trees, rock, and some other forms, and they do their offering (fishes) to the Creator before they feast. Well, Josh told me that Pastor said :" it is education which plays a big part. You knw, they make offerings, so does We, christians do. so, what pastor did was educating them about Offerings and God in a way that they understand.”

 

then Josh Told me.. “ same goes to you and your parents. You will need to get attached and engaged to them, because to honour parents is to honor God. You get engage more with them, let them see the changes in you, and most importantly Jesus’s love.”

and he continued “ one thing you also need to understand, you don’t try to change them, but respect them.”

yeah, I replied: “ I did.. I respect them as how I want them to respect me. The funny thing is, as time goes, my relationship with my parents got closer. Somehow, God moves me and changed me in this aspect. It comes automatically… without me even realizing.”

 

Josh continued: “ Yeah, you knw in City Harvest, for us.. One of the 10 commandments is to honour your Parents, and obey them. Whatever they ask you to do, you obey. Eventhough if they ask you to take the joss stick and pray, you can do it, but its wrong if you do it willingnessly or freely deep in your heart. anyway.. if it is obeying your parents, its not wrong. Because Jesus is love, He wants us to show love instead of disharmony. If disobeying them makes you and your family fall into disharmony, what’s the point? that’s not the purpose of Jesus, He wants us to Love our family, and everyone. If creating commotion is the ultimate outcome, then it is not right. So, its ok to obey them in this sense. Don’t you worry.. Jesus wants us to show love, not dissatisfaction. You imagine, if because of a joss stick and your whole family started quarreling, that’s not what God wants us to do.” 

He continues: “ by obeying them, you are actually showing them love, which is also Jesus’s love. Let them knw this friend of yours, Its not wrong though, Jesus is like a new friend, what is wrong of getting know a new friend? right? through engaging with them, you get to show them how this friend has really changed your life. BUT… you must be ready to confront them…. someday…”

 

I replied.. “yeah.. I am, and I’m waiting for the right time…”

 

So, my car approaches Space that time. It was already almost 3 am. Josh words got me thinking until now.

 

It was really funny when he first ask “hey, I wanna ask you something which I wanted to ask long ago..”

of course.. me myself knw what it is deep within. So, he asked.

“I replied him, yeah.. you are supposed to ask me this qs long time ago… hahaha”

 

so, that was where our conversation started.

 

I guess… Like I always give thanks to God, He has been sending angels into my life, to remind me of how Great is His love.

 

Today in FGA, I was touched again. HE, again… spoke to me of His existence and how HE persistently and consistently stayed with me. Seriously, that song appeared 3 weeks in a row and why that song? haha.. long story, gotto go back to that week before my first paper. Kinda lazy to repeat again. but I think I do mention in somewhere in my last post.. (I think).

So, God is great! He works in his miraculous way. I think He sent Josh that day, to untangled something which I’ve always worried about. now, with HIM, as my witness, my partner-in-crime, my saviour, my Lord, I have no worries at all.. (it doesn’t mean that I will do joss stick willingly), but He opened up my heart again and deepens my love towards my parents. Josh taught me how to deal with it, which I strongly believe its God’s words. He used Josh to speak to me.

How wonderful our God is. 

 

Everytime when I flash back on my Christian walk, I feel so touched and so overwhelmed by Him. You knw, one thing that normal people have lack of, is… They wont be understanding on how I feel all these years, How God has changed me, How God has make a difference in my life.. and.. How God has filled me to the extend that He has become my best friend whom is close and sooo intact with the tissue of my heart. God made us with His image, and I pray that I will be more like Him each day.

Though I started rough,its Salvation, which made me understand that we’re all born righteous. Once you have Salvation, it doesn’t matter who you were previously, you are the brand new you, and we have a new triumph and victory in Christ.

I’m so grateful that in the name of Holy Spirit, I am baptized eventhough I’m not baptized by water. Glory to God. =) (this is something that no one knows.. and I guess when it is on blog, it’s considered opened.haha.)  ok, this is another shocking story. well, share it next time, on how I got the ability. =)

 

Its funny that Josh got me thinking of the “feeling lonely” thingy before sleep. I compared…. my life before and after. Conclusion : I’ve never been whole before, and it feels like God has filled the missing parts and empty spaces in my heart, and he created more spaces for sincere people like my pals to stay in it.

I pray for a bigger heart. =)

 

Praise the Lord.

Another day. =)

So, I had a bad quality sleep.

brain was exhausted.

and.. me, was exhausted physically.

well, I’m still doing fine, standing strong,like the Soldier of Light. Fighting!

 

My daily life is so overwhelmed. Everytime when I’m in distress, or when I’m stretched., My angels never fails to remind me about who He is, He was, and He will be. Where to find this kind of friend?

My coussie in IMU had done with her 4 days marathon exam!Its her Birthday today, meaningful right?

I got my own plans tonight, so…. perhaps, no IMU today? haha! been studying and meeting her up for dinner last 2 weeks.. occasionally. Love hanging with her, I miss her hugging me to sleep actually. hahaha! yeah, she’s like my own sister, and she will not do this to her biological sister.  owh… I love all my cousies! seriously. So, I guess I’m meeting her again..soon? =)

 

First, let me just give Him a big testimony. Proverbs 3:4-6 has been my strength. and He never fails to show me that He is always with me with this verse. Seriously… Power of coincidence?  how many coincidence you can have in Life? right? Glory to God and the highest. =)

 

I’m taking a few hours of time off, then I’ll start my battle again.

Its funny that there wasn’t a single rain for the past 2 days.. and it was freaking hot. I was just mumbling “God.. please rain…” and.. it did.

Coincidence? haha.. the POWER OF COINCIDENCE.

 

LAst Sunday, I went to FGA, the verse appear and the worship song appeared again!! the same as the previous week when I was so despair and stressed.. That was when I was so touched! He told me : I am with you.

I slained.

He proves HIS existence that particular time. Immediately, my fears are gone. I was able to be confident and endure whatever that comes.

the same thing happened last week. well, COINCIDENCE AGAIN?!

haha.. how many coincidence in life can you have? again?

 

Glory to Him.

 

Things are going well with me.. Next week is another whole new journey. So, With Him, lets walk this together.

 

Today, I feel good.

Despite thinking of what to eat for dinner, well.. screw it. Supper then. =)

 

ok, time to start my brain battle!

 

He is Love.

Blessed day. =)

Had a contented day. Took a long break from studies.

Went for a satisfied jog this morning, then went for Juwita Suwito and Busco music rally in the afternoon. had dinner with my mates, then now I’m back.

I dislike being asked “Why do u have time to do all these despite of exams, all these and that?”

ya, my housemate. He hasn’t been sleeping well these 2 days.. and.. I dunno why. He is stressed. I think.

but.. today… I wanna clarify and repent.

to me, there’s so much other things that are more important than studies. Yes, definitely.. I learnt to see this after a 6 months working life in Sg. =) and to me, study.. yeah, its my responsibility. but, relaxation, God, and self growth are important as well.

I am thankful that I get to segregate my time well.. yeah, I am serious about fun, and serious about God. Like I said, Things are really different as I live my day with God’s impulse. It feels whole lot of different.

and.. personally.. I don’t think I need anyone to help me understand the stress from exam. yeah, I have stress, but… time management is pretty important. 

I had a great day… Praying, relaxing, having fun with a bunch of long lost friends in FGA. and.. Juwita was Awesome! Busco was.. average to me.

I wanna repent.. I am being wreckless today. careless summore.. I promise YOU that I wont do this again.

 

2mr… Sunday. The day that I love the most. Going to the House of God is something that is awesome! To listen to words, prayers… it just gives me a boost to boost up the rest of my week. God is good, awesome, power and faithful. Today, Thank God for the safety. =)

 

I have my own schedule to follow, but its alterable and it depends on HIM. yeah.. alterations are done by Him. I just live with it basically.

Some of you may wonder, what is God’s Impulse? at the other part of your conscious mind, isnt it you who are the one controlling.. God plays a part in which sense?

owh well.. this is a super tough question for a non-believer to understand.

Very simple, When you have a relationship with someone, you love that person, and you plan things together.. but often at times, impromptu plans popped up and you just gotto follow. and.. often, impromptu plans are awesome and fulfilling, and most of it are joy and happiness. Am I right?

this analogy goes to God. God is my partner in crime. haha!! HE is my partner, my life, and we plan things together, at His will. and often, things that happened at HIS will are Joy and happiness. Faith is a powerful weapon that IMPOSSIBLE will become POSSIBLE.

This is a deep relationship.. and I want it to be deeper and deeper.

I always believe that.. before we can love others, we have to start loving God and love ourselves. God created us as HIS image, and we inherit his characteristics, which is loving. Day by day, we will have His mindset and things will change. By Him first loved us, that is why we learn to love.

Truly I tell u, I don’t understand all these 2 years ago. Now, things are different. I am born righteous. and… When I surrender and leave everything to Him, things turns out the way He wants it to be, and.. the outcome is MUCH BETTER than the original one which u’ve expected if u carry out with your OWN PLAN. ITs SO MUCH BETTER! Most of the times, its sort of IMPOSSIBLE TO ACHIEVE if the pulse is driven by our own plan.

I personally experienced it. =)

 

So, today…. when my housemate said “ wah…so many things to study and you have time for all this?!”

me: “ haha… yeah. I don’t care.. erm, not that I don’t care, but why not? its just a day off.”

Probably my result will not be that good.. but, I have faith in God. Because, I knw. what I do is not from my own impulse.. its from HIm.

my original plan for today was: stay home, mug, and mug. and mug. not going out at all…

but it turned out.. I reach home at around 7 plus pm. (I went out at 730am) . ya, whole day.

 

I didn’t regret living my day like that. And ..AND AND!!! I wanna PRAISE GOD!! why? I prayed for a sunny day!! and today… SUNNY DAY after 10am! (owh, I still jogged under the drizzle of the rain, but I enjoyed!! hehe… cuz.. I was doing something I like with someone I care.)

So, THANK GOD FOR THE SUNNY DAY! I was deprived from Vitamin D.. and.. I got my supply today! hahaha!

 

ok, time to stop.

gotto start a bit of writing notes before I hit the sack. Gotto sleep early, waking up early to study, and hop to FGA at 710am. =P

 

My days are really miracles.. with Him. =)

 

This faith is…. overwhelming.

 

Praise God for a great day!

Sorry for my carelessness today. Thank you for blessing me a safe trip home. =)

Blessed Friday. blessed me.

okay, its Friday. I feel like writing.

After all the boredom I get from HPM. yeah, I was studying and the particular subject was so dry until I dragged myself through in writing my own notes. gah~!

Well, now, I’m over HPM and left with memorization. Currently updating my notes on Satelite Pharmacy. Love this a lot. tht’s why my progress is faster, plus, it’s so lively compared to HPM. hehe…. owh, I like “wet” stuff. hahaha! nah, its just an expression of myself that “I don’t like dry subjects”

LOL!

Dellynn is growing well.. besides having malnutrition, I have Mal-Vit-D also. I’m so deprived of sunlight. Everytime I go out or hang out, it is at night. mmm… not forgetting all the McD nights, or I should call it Midnights with my beloved Monkey. I’ve been studying with her frequently in McD. The best part is.. I get to talk while I’m sleepy! hahaha!!! so, she did her subject, I did mine. We don’t interfere. =)

 

Back to me, I wanna put the attention to me, myself.

I realize a gradual change in me. Well, I cant tell what is it, but my centre of attention has changed. Spiritually. yeah, for whatever that has changed in me are spiritually indifference between the old me and the ME now.

sounds confusing? yeah… haha.

 

I don’t knw. Its like… ok, for instance, I am so attached to Hillsongs, Chris Tomline, etc etc… and I can listen to them NON STOP for a ZILLION TIMES. I just wanna sing and sing and sing, praise and praise and praise.

Pop and nice songs doesn’t really attract me anymore. I dunno since when.

Last week, an Elder spoke, he said “If you are filled with Holy Spirit, all you do is just sing praise, u will start singing… well, I dunno whether it works for others, but it works in me.”

 

It striked back to me. yeah, the statement above applies to me. I seriously dunno since when and I realized on that day only.

 

Owh well, I’m overwhelmed each and every single day.

You knw, to live with God’s impulse everyday is just so amazing. This is a personal testimony that no one will understand. Seriously, it feels so awesome. Because, You wont knw what God wants you to do the next minute.

I was so stressed on the week before my first paper. yeah, freaking stressed that I can just break down anytime. then I clicked on this talk from a Sg’s Reverend. Another thing that strikes me after hearing what he says… He asked, “what is Sin?” “Sin is doing things at your own impulse and your own way.”

Well, I realized and awakened immediately. That is why my unending stress is there.

then, angels in my life tells me.. “Kuen, take a break, no point studying like that if you are not in peace, take some time off, read on scriptures, pray.. “

I did,  and.. immediately.. I seriously feel different. I felt renewed. and .. I managed to continue my study with a calm heart. You wont trust me if I say that my heart was POUNDING EFFING fast since the moment I woke up! because of stress! and I prayed that morning, it just don’t go away. Owh, and one thing about prayer is… If you pray with your whole heart, He listens. I admit that my prayer on that particular morning is just… “touch and go”.

but after the break prayer, I was filled with joy. So, my day continued… till midnight. Everything went smoothly.

 

I committed my days, hours, minutes. Living by his impulse. And… days can end so perfectly beautiful.

I had the most wonderful and peaceful sleep yesterday. owh, I prayed for it also. Normally, my sleep is 5 hours MAX, yesterday, it was a miracle, I get 7 hours.

 

I knw, for non-believers, it will be a bit hard for you to accept what I just wrote. but.. God is faithful, God is good! God is awesome!

HE saved my dear frm a car accident.

He saved me from disaster.

Life with God is awesome..

 

so, I wanna say that.. my priority in life has changed.. I think I am leaving things to God, where me, on the other side, preparing my field, so that God can send the rain.

 

Our God is a loving God.

 

Owh well, back to my life again, I’m having dinner with my family tonight. Such a blessing that they keep the routine on looking for me for dinner on either Fri night or Sat night if I’m here in Cheras. =) parents, they are awesome… The next loving person after Him. Ya, I finally understand God created Parents for us so that we can Love God through loving our parents. Most of the times, they will have some “indifference” in thinking, but they are at a good heart to protect us, to be with us, make sure that we are safe, happy, and well nurtured. Just like how God wants their child to be. right?

 

How’s my exam? well, the last paper was a brain drain. Thank God I did my study well.and Thank God for my angels, if it weren’t them, I wouldn’t have done it.

I’m blessed.

 

Today, it’s a Friday. =)

Any plans? well, mine definitely…. erm.. I don’t knw, I’ll know it later. haha..

 

The most enjoying semester ever. 4th year is fun. stressed and fun.

 

I ask for prayers from all of u. =)

 

Ciao, back to study. Its time. =)

guilt from abandoning.

Looks like I’m missing out a lot in the blogging world. Owh yeah, 4th year has done me so much good and stress. I really have abandoned my blog since…… dunno when.

haha..

anyway, I’m striving my best now. 2mr is my next paper.

Summary of what I’ve been through. Hospital attachment was crazy, yet very enjoyable, that is the time I try all the good food. HAHA.

Dislike it because I need to wake up at 5am everyday, and sleep at 2-3am everyday too.

Afterall, it was the most fun moment in my life.

So, here I am now, finals.

what I’ve done? I’m living each and every single day with God’s impulse, not mine. *trying*

I guess, without prayers, I would’ve broken down long long time ago.

Well, in the midst of exam, I still get to relax, meet up with friends, take 5 for meals.. hang out a while.

This Saturday, I’ll be gg for the Juwita Suwito and Busco mini music rally. Erm, I cant wait actually, because Juwita Suwito is such a honey! and I really love her voice! =)

Time flies. Half a year Gone.

 

Owh well, I’m going to update and recap about my life THIS YEAR soon. Why? because this year is definitely MY YEAR. A year which I am really really satisfied with. I live contentedly each and every single day.. seriously, NO REGRET!

 

There are so much more things in life which is more important that what we can see. I comprehend this sentence very well, but it seriosuly took me SHITTY EXPERIENCE to UNDERSTAND this phrase. haha.

Life is awesome.

 

And.. one thing I realize, my priority in Life has changed.

wanna know more about it? stay tune for my recap.

 

I’m rolling off now.

continue with my books. =)

 

take care peeps.

 

Ps: wanted to reply RAchel The Ngiam Pumpkin on her blog, but I seriously got no time. “Old Folks are human too… yah, u are gonna be one someday. If u are afraid of them, means u’re afraid of urself.” HAHA! nah, probably you need time to accept. Cheers!

 

Ciao!

 

Thanks to God that He has been my source of strength, and inspiration. =)

exam

exam stress, but enjoying it.=)

Randm

Discussion......

Real steel tonight!;)