may the peace be with you

Today, its just one of those days… where time passed by, day passes by.

Sometimes, i think i’ve lost the reason to hang on, but sometimes, i would love to stay as long as possible.

Ironic huh? this is my life.

 

Although decisions has been made, guiltiness still emerges.

All these days, I’ve learnt how to really hold on and hang on without giving up. Probably i’ve done it in my studies before but working is a different feeling. Responsibilities are heavier. I need to perform in order to stay.

Like i said, the stress and demand are different. Well, i’m more thorough now.

I’m facing a beast everyday. Everyday is a big obstacle and challenge for me, i need to overcome everyday’s challenge. The “best” part is, everyday’s challenge will be different.

The only constant is… my super “XXXX” boss. that’s all. hahaha!!!

 

I start to see things from a different point of view. Sometimes, it comes to my senses where i’m not a kid anymore, I’m already 23, almost 24. I need to start planning and working my career.

I tell you, it feels scary to have nothing at this age.

especially Money, Properties, and… relationship. Well, i’m not that thirst for relationship, but i’m thirst for my career. The only relationship i’m thirst for is the relationship with God. that’s all.

The fear is scary. 24 with nothing.

 

With God’s grace, i will walk the path that i wanna walk. I do have a vision of what i want to do and achieve. Still, everything needs to be at the right moment, the right time for it to happen. HE plans, and guides.  =)

 

I’m like a spoiled brat who is isolated away from the world of the ppl i love. The only thing i can do is phone calls, updates. Most of the time, it gives me warmth to hear familiar voices, sometimes, it hits me down because it is such a pathetic way to knw details about a person. I knw, all these are temporary.

The good thing is, i dont feel lonely over here, because of my accompany and my family here. (though its my uncle and aunt, they are both loving and kind to me).

you knw, How damn guilty i feel for not being able to be with my mum when my dad was admitted? my mum can’t drive at night, yet she drove to hospital everyday after work just to be with my dad. That time, i really wish that i can send her instead of her driving.

but Thank God, my parents are understanding of this situation. Thank God my dad has no serious complications.

Every morning, when i sit in the bus, thoughts of these will come to my head.. “the routine starts… how long can i hold on to it? how does people stand travelling 1.5hours to 2 .5 hours to work and spend another 2hours to go back from work?”

“is this what i want? what’s the point for doing all these when i have to sacrifice so much just for the temporary luxury?”

nah, these are just some silly thoughts of mine. Well, I sometimes do feel demotivated. Believe it or not, God will motivate me in HIS wonderful way everyday. He never fails to do so every single day.

 

I am now working towards my dream which is to work and travel in these months. =) see? If its God’s will, miracles will happen.

Don’t put a question mark when God puts a period. =)

What is life?

Life has a much bigger definition than what’s in your mind now. We are too small and tiny to view the meaning of life. We won’t knw what is life until we die. At least, after we die, we knw that we’ve lived our life. =)

 

I’m living my life, contentedly, meaningfully. Though its tiring, I’m still holding on.

I’ve learnt to open up myself, see things differently. I’ve made lots of friends with different knowledge and experiences which are worth for me to learn.

 

What i can say in a nutshell, the life i am living now will be a legend in my LIFE BOOK. =) That’s the story i’ll tell my offsprings. =)

 

 

Appreciate everything that you have now. don’t leave regrets in your life.

 

me? i have no regrets in doing what i’m doing now.

 

:)

 

May the peace be with you.