kuen today!! sot d...

well, i am quite tired.. yesterday and today. i guess my dear ALO blog has been updated?? i hope so, cuz i hvn checked the blog. haha!!!

well, i was working today. everything's fine. just that i feel a little tired.
KM came and visit me in the pharmacy!!! haha!!! glad!!! and he gave me a p[air of pigie nite slipper!! it's meant to be wear at home la... haa!!!
cute!!

and thanks to him!!!

He is leaving to China followed by Hong Kong next Tuesday!!! :-)
erm.. he is going there for some projects and some seminar... well, he's a chem en student in NZ. so, cool!!
and i heard that he's also involved in the coming Olympic in Beijing.. but dunno why is he involved la... haha! cool!!

I think i'll be having mild flu.. why?
not enough sleep?

yeah...

sent the Stupiak Girl to UtaR last Sat... and i slept for.... quite long in the car.
and.......
i almost become babi panggang d.... well, it's bawang panggang..(sounds better) haha!

Anyway....
it was quite weird that day. dunno la... but everything looks fine. so... fine lo! hahaha!

I admit la, my emotion werent that stable that day... stupid.. (red eyes when i called my bro...)haha! but now, i'm ok la.
talked to bro just now, it seems that he is trying to get use of the Uni.. so... wish him luck la..

yep... i still miss him.. so much!

Today!!!

I did not eat ANYTHING since morning!@!!! so... i went to conduct the grading test EMpTY STOMACH!!!
and u know what.... it's raining heavily at KAPAR.. so.. i was COLD and HUNGRY!
i hate the feeling...
that's why, i went back straight after the test...

oh ya, i think my mild flu is because of the rain just now...

Oh ya.. my hungry soul...
thanks to StuPiak Girl's mum for asking me for dinner at her house just now!!!
It's been a while i ate home cook dishes... why?
normally i work at night, so.. i dont hv dinner when i work at nite.. and at nite is the time my mum cooks. so......
'it's been a while.

and... her mummy's food very very nice!! i was really enjoying the taste of the food.. i was not just eating to fill up my hungry soul.. haha!!!
'
it reminds me of grandma's cooking... honestly.. hehe...

mummy and daddy..still hvn reach le... 12 am d.... haiz... i guess i'll sleep first la...

well...i'm going to hv mild flu... Stupiak Girl is having sore throat????
hope she stops singing and tk care of her voice.. haha!! i dont really admire her sexy voice..ha! it's worst than a toad!!! :-)

I've see more things today...
After the grading test i conducted.

Me? my thinking and attitude really different. Why am i so..... matured?
I cant really "brush myself down" with them. why>?
their childishness...
my gosh....

my goodness...

I understand why am i always the Tai KAh Chea among them.
Seniority?
I'm after my Tai Ko, Tiong Leong...
yup, my sir always consider me as one of the most senior student. and... i am proud,, yes! but sometime i doubt whether i've done a good job as a senior and instructor. I still feel that i can do better.

Sometimes the feeling of giving up is there. but... i just like the feeling of seeing my students get promoted to black belts and pooms.
it's really a great satisfaction to me..
Just like today..
those who went for black belt tests are my students... and they did a great job.. and thanks to the weather.. ha!

====================================================================


Let me tell about how i feel about..........these days.

I feel that i need more time to accept things...
but as from other ppl's view, they think it's ok for me to accept cuz it's not a big matter for them.

I mean... i really need time...
and i've asked myself to try it out.. try to accept... but... no improvement.. haha!
that's me..

like i said before..
please keep ur sweet world out of my sight?
dont make me jealous...
just like my bro...and the Stupid RAJ!
Raj: " Pharmacy very easy one!!! very very easy to pass!!! i only study 2 hours per day!!!!"
Fuck la...

just because he was my classmate, that's why... i tahan my feeling to strangle him up. haha!'

ya right... he is taking USM programme.. in ICT (What's that? nvr even heard of??!) it's located in Penang.
and... his class are Malays (majority), Indians(minority), Chinese (e-lek!)...
haha!!

bloat la! bloat la!!
i dont care what programme you are studying, stay out of my life!
hahahaha!!

I sounded cruel, but.... no choice. cuz me and Cheryl really wanna strangle him that time... ha!

ok... he's trying to ask me to accept the things from his world... sorry. i dont want to.

Bro? he wont force me to accept, but he wants me to listen. he'll get pissed off if i dont listen to stories he's telling. that's why.......
haiz...

Things that dont really matters for others matters to me. i mean, most of it matters to me.
i am particular. I am a rubbish bin in all sense, but... can you guys treat me as a recycle tong ar? haha!! there are some things that cannot be recycled le... and make sure you guys throw the rubbisg at the right place, at the right time.

DumbOnion is stupid... but she's not stupid FULLY after all.

DumbOnion accepts everything...calmly... (physical), but emotionally, she erupts faster than you thought. haha!! haha!! haha!! (laugh like a witch, just like little Rachel does) hehe...

but now, DumbOnion still ok.. nothing serious has happened. still ok, everything is still fine.

Another thing, I hate impostors.
I cant seem to ignore them even my mouth says so.
anyway, i'm still trying to train the Dumb brain not to care about it.
hehe....

I dont really like everything and anything! i got preference... not in food, but in other things.
so.....
I guess.... that's what makes Dumb Onion special?? yup, special from others who are same-aged.
me and my same aged... we're totally from a different world....
so sad...

ALO start complaining that i dont really tell anyone my probs. knw wht i answered? "me? no hay problemma!" so... no problem how to tell?

haha...

It

is

a

good

technique

to

hide

everything...



i am choosy le... remember?

As usual, as for my friends, their thought about me... (there's laughter everywhere i go)

well, is it true?

true for those who dont know me la. :-)

yup, it's right.


Future...
sometimes, i long to preserve everything i hv now... my friendship, my relationship, my stupiak-ship, my G-string-ship (ignore me...i'm Dumb today).

yup, i wish i could keep all the ships as long as possible. Sinking is not the issue when i hold strong to these ships.
as usual la...

woo-hoo...

i'm crapping...
i'm shiting...
i'm sleepy...
but i still wanna....
ok..
i'll go off now....

got to do some reading...
I'm a little retarded...after the Chemistry session with Stupiak Girl..
anyhow, she's more retarded than me!! "WInk" glad!

k la, chiao!!

...........

Adieu, la hermana..


bro has left...

I felt bad...
bro wants to see me but i disappear myself the whole morning. Yes, i know, if i see him leave like that, i cannot act normal..

I miss him la...

sob sob....
stupid tears..

I cannot deal with "goodbyes'... really. i am very different from others. I am too soft>?? maybe?

really....

I"m really useless in this sense... and i just do nothing but shut myself up. Even my oen bro wants to see me for the last time, cuz he'll only see me for the next few months or end of this year.. and me? as a useless person, i really hide myself out.. I know i cannot deal with it. so i chose to avoid.

Well, I dont feel regret la... just that... I feel so bad for my bro. I asked him to online 2mr... so that we can talk lo....

Know what? i really hate this feeling.... like i said before, it's like losing someone i really really love.
heartache....

Feel like cutting out the tear glands so that it stops functioning.

i dunno why, it just cant stop.

I really hope the best for my bro. When it's time to let go, it has to go.....eventhough it refuse to go.. but still, no choice.

I couldnt imagine my days without the stupid fella..

haha... means my movies sessions has to be ALONE (though these few days oso alone),
TKD will also be alone...

haiz... dun wanna think la.!!

so... 3rd dan.... can he sit the grading test together with me? i doubt so... cuz it will be a 2 vs 1 grading test.. scary... 2 person will attack me and i hv to fight 2 person.. and yet, the 2 person are you seniors!! means they are at least 3rd dan!!
Me??
i'm only 2nd dan......

haiz....

Aku rindu kat dia la....

nyaris-nyaris nangis dalam kereta tadi bila masa balik....
haiz...

nothing can be done...

so...i'll watch movie now.... to forget about everything.

This is really a Fucker's attitude!

Four individuals have lodged complaints of police abuses, including being forced to perform oral sex, during their remand to the Human Rights Commission (Suhakam).

Originally, five individuals were arrested in Cheras on May 29 and held at the Kajang police station on a seven-day remand. During which two of them - one of them a juvenile - were forced to perform oral sex on each other.Four of them were also beaten up before getting their remands extended for another three days where the abuses continued.

“The sergeant who made them perform oral sex on each other was angry that they informed the magistrate about it (abuses) and asked them why they made the complaint.

“He then made them lick his boots, sprayed Ridsect (insect repellent) on their faces and were then beaten up with pipes by three or four police officers.

What the fuck!

Is that supposed to be a Malaysian's Attitude??!!? still the dorkball is a cop! FUCK!

Useless animal!!

How are we going to be proud to be a Malaysian??!!

Sucker....!!!

I've fucked things up... hon-to Gomenasai..

It's almost 11pm now...
i've been lying on my bed...closing my eyes..thinking... and i cant help it by tearing...
heartache.....


i feel bad for fucking everything up...
my normal life,
my bro...

and i cant even be with him when he leaves. nope, it's my choice to not be at home.

i'm very moody today, really. i am.

Slept quite late yesterday, around 3am.. cuz i was planning and discussing about my bro's To-DO list. Gosh.. he hvn done most of the things.. so, i was sorting the list yesterday night and checked the things he needs to prepare after i came back from butterfly park, it was before 12am.

so...

this morning.. i was awaken by my mum, cuz i need to fetch her to work. Feel very sleepy.. summore loaded with my bro's thing.. cuz WE know! he cannot do anything on his own.. i was very bengang d... even in the morning, i was chatting with my mum, i felt angry with my bro, and disappointed with his attitude.... haiz... worried about my bro...
dunno whether he can handle things on his own onot.

that's why, i woke up early in the morning to buy stem, go to the bank, post office, buy PTPTN pin Number... and... he sleeps till 9 something!!!! my gosh!
of cousre la i bengang!!
still, the photo hvn developed yet! shit!

i was very agitated. i called him and spoke to him with a high tone.. asked him to wake up and get everything done!

so....

i came home after i did all the things and try to log in the PTPTN website.
Fuck! cannot daftar!!!

then mana tahu... it's already closed and need to wait till July.

shit.. wasting my time.
again... mismanagement by my bro.

Thank god we've checked through the things yesterday midnight! if not....
DARN man! most of the things he hvn done!

haiz.... what will he be without me and my mum?
Stupid....

I was very very very agitated.. that's why, i postpone my date with Yolk to JJ to buy Cheang's bday gift. haiz....

After settling all his things, and he'd certified all the documents, then i can sleep(nap)peacefully at last.

I really thought a lot of things....
and...i became more moody.

I feel guilty, i would say.
i felt guilty for treating my bro that way, since he is leaving 2mr.

and i've done things that i shouldnt be doing.
I'm really sorry.

that's why, i really have no mood....and nap. Dunno why, sadness just conquer me... and.. yup, i cried.alone.. to sleep.

watever msg tat comes in... i wish i could just throw my phone off... but i didnt. cuz it was something important, i couldnt afford to ignore it.

Stupid.. i'm really really stupid.

I feel like i'm alone fucking up my stupid wonderful life.... talking some shit which i'm not supposed to talk..

Yup, i'm damn guilty now.
I dunno how to face my world anymore.
i dun wanna feel it again la. It's hard for me to recover with a smile.

and.... there are some things which i still cant accept...
like... my bro's attitude for these few days....

It's my fault. I'm the one who caused these shit to happen.

Honestly, know how i feel now?

I feel FUCKING TERRIBLE! MISERABLE!

yet... i still hv to smile and face everything peacefully.

sorry ar.. this blog a little rude. cuz i really cant stand the feelings in me. I hv to write it out.

I've fucked everything up, seriously....

and i wont force myself to accept things that i wont accept. I wont force, but i'll learn to try.


I've remembered wat WennIyng said. :" I dont like to travel with 3 ppl, i like to travel with only 2 person..including myself!" Fiona:" har...so lonely...? the more the merrier ma....but hv to find a group which is NGAM la.."

Me? i'm in silence.. I nodded when wenn iyng said the sentence above. cuz.. i agree with her.

that's why... i rather go alone if i were to go with another 2 person. Unless it's with my family..then it's different.

I'm weird.. The way i think is totally different.
I prefer to be independent.... rather than dependent.

that's why....
i cannot stand my bro.

but... what can i get from feeling this way?
he is leaving soon.

I hope he'll be ok there...alone la.

and 2mr....

DArn...
another day which i think i've Messed up.

I still need time to accept... but not in this way.
really... not in this way.

too bad la...
My feelings sucks today...
so, everything is moody to me...

and i did not eat a single thing from morning, till now..
cuz why?
no appetite,
and as a punish for what i've fucked up.

Please Forgive me.....

Once and for all.....

I'm really sorry...

TO where you are...

Listening to Josh Groban now...
well, He is one of the soul-ful singer. i love his songs, so much. Cuz when you're down, you;ll find the strength to carry on, when you just listen to his voice, he'll make u shiver...

TO where You Are.

It's one of the earliest songs of his. It's hard to wait for his album, cuz he only produce one album every a few years.

He touches every cell in you when you just close ur eyes and listen.
DOn't Give Up, You are loved.. it's one of his songs, it's quite a different genre compared to his other songs. This song.... i'll listen to it when i am stressed and feel like giving up... or when i feel like there's no one else in this world who understands what i'm going through.
This song... it really touches the most sensitive part in my heart...

My confession...
the feeling of this song is totally different than the others.


I like his songs cuz...even though u dont understand the language he sang (he is capable of a lot of language), but he can deliver the exact feeling of the songs...
u don't need to understand the words to understand the songs.

I share these songs... from Josh Groban,the Voice of Wonder....he touched my heart,deeply...... :-)

Love today.

things really happen unpredictedly..
Like my bro...
then Fiona...

haha!!

erm, i know who;s reading and who's not reading.

had fun just now!!! cuz i get to meet Fiona & Kenji!!(the beautiful couple) and WEnn Iyng!@!!!!! haha! happy to meet her!!
cuz she just came back from Taiwan!!! haha!! she...... seems happy.. about the trip...ONLY, but not the SLUT! yup.. the total SLUT..and i can imagine how she is by just listening to Wenn Iyng... and now? i'm more worried about Wenn Iyng d... i always tell her that i'm very scared that she'll get bully and taken advantage by others, just like how the SLUT treated her. DaRN!!

Read Rose-ie's blog... ha! as usual, the girl is always into Japanese hot guys!!! yeah! Shun Ogouri Rocks!!! i love him baby!
that's why, from Rose's blog, i read the SLUT's blog.... Darn.. so fake. but she made it so nice so that others feel that their relationship is quite close. Fuck la.
There are lots of dissatisfaction behind all the smiles in the photo the SLUT posted. and believe me, all the things she wrote in the blog, is totally FAKE! and the other way round happened actually!
Shit man.. cant believe she's a pharmacist, a total SLUT!

eeww.......

I'm happy to see Kenji!! yeah, he's grown taller, and... he understands most of the thing we talked! Gosh.... he's so sweet and cute!!!

and he's playful too..

oh ya, He really grows healthily.. thanks to FIona actually. oh ya, and thanks to her tht she uses the cloth which is used to wipe table to wipe Kenji's face. haha!! and I hope Kenji wont hv any pimples tonite la.. cuz.. he's full of sugar today, and the cloth... eeww... Fiona.... and the cloth.... haha! She's so funny today.. ha!


what is he doing??? gosh.... DIGGING!!!!!!

eeei!! it's a bit blur.... haha! but he's cute!!! feel like kissing him all over his face!!! ha!


he's cute!! muacks!! muacks!!!
isnt he handsome????? gosh... Kenji.........wish i could keep him as my pet... haha!!!
muacks!!!


yup, i've watched movies alone these 2 days. Last Tuesday, me and bro went to watch Get Smart, it was a good movie!! cuz it's very funny!!!! haha!!
Yesterday, i went to watch Prom Night... thank god i did not pour the pop corn on other's face.. ha! anyway, i'm alone though.... i mean the whole row.

so, just now, again, i went to watch movie again... yes, alone. I've watched WANTED. haha! the new movie which is acted by Angelina Jolie. Darn! she's so DAMN SEXY!! sometimes i wish i am Brad Pitt. cuz... when u see her, you'll have fantasies about her.. Gosh, i love her sexy lips, sexy figure, and... he kissed the main actor! (forgot his name d..) haha!!! so envy le...got kissed by ANgelina Jolie!! my gosh!!!
and i tell you, her body is....fyuh! cuz...i've seen her naked before. in the movie...called CARS, if i'm not mistaken. i forgot d.. but she was young that time... and she still hvn have Maddox Yet.. oh ya, she was a crazy girl... and addresses herself as wild, young...bi. haha! yup... she was caught by paparazzi in a club "flirting" with a women, and she admitted that she loves wild sex.(prefer les)

well....

at least, she, as a mother..is different now. haha!! and she's going to adopt another African Boy after Zahara! haha!

Cute!

WANTED has a good story line. yes... i love the story line.
and it's brutal enough for me. haha!!!! of course, we wont expect anymore sex scene from Angelina Jolie d... haha!!
In short, it's a Must Watch movie!!!! haha!!

oh ya, i sit alone in the whole row too... i was 10 mins late for the movie and it's leceh to go to the centre seat... so.. i just seat one row in front which is still consider as a good place, it's direct centre, in front of the screen!!! haha!

Well, hv to think what movie should i watch 2mr morning.......... ha!

Saturday, bro's departing. Me? I'm not sending...
I'm phobia to "leaving", especially my loved ones leave me. though they are leaving for something good, i'm still phobia,
my big heart is too fragile.
i know i cant take it.
even it's my own bro...

imagine, when BS left, i took a long time to recover even though i did not go to the airport..
well, my bro, we can still talk through the phone... but... it's still sad....
so.. i've decided not to send him... but to go somewhere else...and wish him good luck. that's why, i ain't staying at home...
haha!
Anyway, i've promised to fetch the Stupiak Girl to UtAR. I've took off... and i've lied. haiz... but in life, you hv to tell lies for something good. i'm not doing any bad things.... so... nothing to be afraid. haha!! LIES FOR GOOD!!!


watever la....
cuz... i wanna enjoy myself... i wanna live as if i'll die 2mr. haha!!! that's what life is for? right?

just like Wenn Iyng asked me whether i'm still working in Life care after i start study. i said:" of course!" as for me, it's a different experience to work and study at the same time. why? i get to elarn more and get updates on new medications and new customer's behaviours! haha!
I told her it's for my future own good la.... it may not be useful to me now, but in the future, it is useful to me. cuz i've more retail experience and it's one of the way to ensure me a smooth journey in retail line. :-)
Fiona said:" life ma.. once in a life time.. so, enjoy la.. Kuen is enjoying her life. haha!!"
yes, i would say... hehe...

2mr... haha!
tell you what. i'm going to be as busy as ever too! why? i need to settle my bro's things. he still have lots of things hvn do, so... i hv to settle for him.
i've bought hima 4GB pendrive just now....
cuz i dunno what else i can get him....
wanted to get him the same pendrive as mine... but.. i've changed my mind. bought him another brand but same price.
Just wanna give him something before he leaves la... :-) cuz pendrive is the most useful thing for him now. haha!!
i'll wait till i he the cash to buy a web cam la.... ha! cuz i dun hv crystal eye web cam as in ACER's Lappy... hehe... so, i need web cam.

erm..... later la... cuz there's something more important than web cam.... or... do anyone has 2nd web cam? or anyone wanna recycle?
i really need a web cam.... :-)
wait la.... till i sew my pocket. haha!

k la, i wanna rest earlier, as 2mr will be another busy day...
means... possibility for movies is low.

sob.... by the way, ok la... cuz... i have to get use to doing things alone starting next week. even TKD...


Chiao la...
i dont think i want tears to flow down to flood. haha!

1 more day to go... to be with him.

I have something to say..

Listen listen!! I v something to say...
my feelings... it's mixed today.. and it kinda becoming a rojak now...

why?

I'm accompanying my bro to KL 2mr. well, it was an important thing to go there, but not anymore. why?

I guess...
there are pros and cons..

ok, first of all, my bro gave surprise again, not him.. he is not the one who gave us surprise..
i guess my parents, and apart from this, it's my bro's attitude.

He cant really decide eventhough he had made his decision to study med, anyhow, he doubted his decision these few days...

and at last, he is going to UMT, in Terengganu this Saturday afternoon. Means... i cant go with him, cuz i need to be in klang for everything, my TKD, my work...

bad hor? this sister?
anyway, i've made my decision to stay in Klang. Cuz i know, Bro is my responsibility(no doubt), but my students.. they are my responsibility too. cuz i hv students going for black belt test this Sunday, so i need to be there to guide and teach them for the very last day.

I do not see my bro as "not so important", but, i hv to see and judge things rationally. though bro will only be back a few months later.

Anyway, pros and cons...

Pros.

• No one argue with me, fight with me.
• I get to use the bathroom longer.
• My lava wont erupt often.
• i dont need to spend my energy and saliva to wake him up.

Cons

• No one argue with me, fight with me.
• lonely.
• I'll miss him.
• scared tht we'll be like strangers when we meet after a few months.
• I'll worry about him.
• no one will watch movies with me anymore.
• no one chats with me during weekends.
• No one will be here to tolerate my attitude.
• No laugh
• No jokes

see? for me, cons are more than pros.
ok, i'm not regret for scolding him, cuz he deserves it that time, cuz he is really stupid and he really made me mad.

why he made such decision? cuz my mom says... Bro is different than me. They love my bro, of course they'll support whatever decision my bro made. According to my father's friend, who is a boss of a company, he said :"Food technolocy is good! U graduate as a food technologist! and you can go into many lines, QC,production, R&D, Sales..."

yup.. the boss is true. i told my bro the same thing.

My bro is the kind of timid guy. so, he needs time to accept things that he dont know. yup, he do not know about Food tech.. that's why he cant accept it at first.

Since he cant make decision, my parents made it for him. They encourage him to go, and say.. "u go try out one year, or even few months, if you really think that the course is not suitable for u, then you call us, after that, u go for medic.. it's still not late what? cuz local uni right, you wont hv anymore chance if you miss this, as for private, u still hv chance to enroll next year."

yup, my parents were right. Cuz my bro, he is really different. His attitude is totally different than me.
He wont tell anyone even if he feels pressured, stress.. or his unhappiness.so, i'm scared that he'll go CRACKO if he studies med.

My bro? he'll be a good doctor if he graduates as a doctor, just that, we are worrying about him going through the process of studying. cuz.... he may give up without telling us... and he is the type that cannot tk more pressure, cuz he is used to comfortable life. (like what he is living now)

another thing, my bro, he does not have any initiative to do something, it is very hard for him to make the first step. i dunno why the hell is so hard for him to take the first step... but he just cant. (that's why, when he found his true life partner, he will stick to her forever. if the girl who likes him is not his type, he wont terlekat to her too...)

so, Stupiak Girl.... dont worry about ur marriage ya!!haha!

In short, my parents dont want my bro to struggle so much... cuz they say, when we reach their age, all we want is a simple life...

yup... it make me think for a while.

me? I dont want to be ORdinaRY.

know what my daddy described me and my bro?
Bro-- a bird who is suppose to fly but he dont wanna fly.
Me-- A bird who is eager to fly when it doesnt even knows how to flip the wings.

haha!

yup, it's true.

that's why... my parents know my bro's character. They said, since my bro cant make any decision, they hv to make the decision for him..(just like the big boss said)
and my bro, he's ok with anything.
he doesnt hv a stand... till now.
THey scared, their love to him(supporting him doing medic) will jeopardize him. That's why, they hv to make decision for him this time.

but i hv intuition that he'll enjoy himself very much in University. My parents dont want him to study like me.

haha!

they said i'm different. cuz they are comparing my bro now with Me when i was his age, I hv the initiative to look for a job, i hv the initiative to read and learn about medications, i hv the initiative to find alternatives to study pharmacy.

My bro, he doesnt even care to find a job. He prefers staying at home sleeping. He dont really showed my parents his passion in studying med. and he dont even hv the initiative to do anything. including finding himself a job. (so, it's not my fault that he dont wanna work in pharmacy)

In short, my bro is very comfortable with his life, well, too comfortable i would say. yup, mum says, he's too scared to leave home, cuz he never leave home before. and he scares that if he goes UMT, he'll hv no companies...
See?

these are not a problem AT ALL to me. cuz i can easily make friends, it depends on me who i want to befriend with.

I told my mum that. and she says...:" yup, i know it's not a prob to you, but as for ur bro, he is not like you, i understand him cuz i am like him. I dont dare to tk the first step to talk to ppl too. dunno why but we're just like that..."

I just kept quiet....

and think from my bro's perspective. yup, he is like that. Remember i said that he is "glued" to me since small? and he wants to be "glued" to me forever.
but now, my parents are now creating a chance to let him soar, up to the sky.
and gladly, my bro accepted it. and i am happy for him. Not because he wont be with me, it's because i know that he'll grow and become more mature after this.

I know, he'll enjoy the programme in the Uni.

I am envious about him going to Uni. I got a chance to go, but i rejected it. It's simply because i know what i want. so, I wont get to experience the Local Uni activities forever in my life. and it's kinda sad.....
cuz...Uni life is supposed to be interesting....and you get to learn a lot from it.
but nothing can be done.
haha!

based on my studying situation now, i dont think i hv the time to join the activities too. My bro? his course is kinda simple? than Pharm definitely. i hope he'll enjoy himself there.

I'll miss him so damn much....
like i miss my BF...

I started to Miss him now... even though he is by my side.
I dunno... this kind of feeling.. it's like losing someone important in ur life. though he is not gone forever.It's totally different than missing DearDear... and HIM.
so...
i dunno...

I cant believe, my bro will be going off this saturday afternoon... sob sob, believe it or not, tears filled my eyes now when i think of it.

I need time to get used to his non-existence. Maybe I'm worry about him being there alone. cuz he is a careless guy. I think most guys with my bro's character are careless. but they are very caring....

Darn....it's flowing down.
tears i mean.

My little bro is learning how to fly. I would call my tears, The Tears OF Joy.
i know, my life will be different without his existence..

oh ya, i still dont feel regret for scolding him these few days.
that's why i love about him. He'll forget in a few hours and be normal again..... He knows my character and tolerate with me lor...

ANyway, they are leaving this Saturday and i wont be going. so, i'll only keep in touch with him through phone. so.....
i'll just treat it as if i'm in my Uni lo....haha! Cuz i dont really see my family except weekends.

haha....
When you're angry, you'll hope that he'll disappear forever...
but when it's time for him to go away, you'll hope that he'll stay. Human? haha...

Hey, we cant even hv mamak session together anymore during weekends....

it's ironic.


ok la...
wanna rest earlier, it's 2am now. hv to wake up early and go KL with bro. so.....

nitez..


el hermano, mi el-amor..
buenos noche...