The strong wind blows,
The strong wind hits,
Thunders scream,
Clouds are crying.
Where's the truth?
what do u want?
Where's the trust?
what do u want?
Ur face seems true,
ur heart?
Ur smile?
ur voice?
It's fading...
Image of u blurred in me..
Voice of u becomes softer and softer...
I'm sorry,
is what i dont wanna say,
I'm happy,
is what i dont wanna fake.
I've tried to sustain,
I've tried to maintain,
I've tried to accept,
I've tried my best..
but it just couldnt change..
I've drained myself,
down the stream,
down the river,
down the sea..
but there are things i've done that u wouldnt see.
Depressed?
yes, i am.
if that's the truth u fear.
My PiGGiE is growing!!!
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Me and Mine......
off i go! exam's over!! and one of the results is out... well,satisfying!!! but i dunno what kind of result i'll get for other subject... praying hard.. i've tried my best.
Learnt something today, which is " Reject does not mean accept.' hehe.. it's the Ms. Tan who taught us.. she is really full of surprise.. and she told us again today..." to be happy is a choice!' see! well, what can i say about my day? half of my classmates are having labs, as for me? i'll only hv lab tmr.. so now doing my report + writing blog.. damn! i'm wasting my time!
Rae said she'll be late tonite,hehe.. cant wait actually... cuz the last time i've been to the nite mart was last year, october.. see! time really flies and it's going to be February month now.. scary..
This morning... when i was walking to U, I was sort of like evaluating my life now as a student..i'm having less stress compared to last sem, as my MP4 is always with me.. i dunno why, i just suddenly think of it. Oh ya, i was thinking back the things i've said to Rae last Saturday. I told her that i wouldnt speak to anyone like i spoke to her, and i told her that sometimes i feel shock myslef for saying out the words when i am talking to her.. then she told me:' u're lack of fun in U..' then i dont think i replied her.. i wasnt thinking much that day until this morning.. I realized that i can be very warm, and i can be extremely cold. Yes, i lack of fun with my classmates... guess that's why i'm still a loner now... (that's why i can afford to sit in the library alone typing blogs..) haha!
I think i'm unfriendly.. i guess my classmates think i'm not very friendly.. though. Anyway, i still don't really care what ppl think about me.
I'm centralized. I'm not shaky. nothing's gonna change me easily. I guess that's the Taurus characteristic. I'm just me.
I think i need some time ler... i need time to really click with ppl. again, i'm not unfriendly k!! and i'm not that type of shy person!
I can express myself more here, know why? no readers i guess.... hehe..
Some on going things happening to me now... know what? I just cant stop myself from saying the F word sometimes... of course, only when i'm alone.. and when i did something wrong.. dunno why.. I'm crazy! spare me! Thank god, i dont say it in front of ppl.
I was depressed yesterday, so i went online, had a chat with Fiona n Rae. Fiona.. she kept thanking me for helping her... and she said she'll return it to me one day.. know what, i dont really mind about returns! I love to be a giver, of course, u hv to be affordable la. I give, and seldom take. That's me. I guess, indirectly, i show love to my friends gua... When i make friends, i really give out my true self, i mean my true heart. Heart-to-Heart friendship is all i wanted. That's why i can click so well with ppl around me in Klang. cuz we really treat each other whole heartedly.
Same goes to Fiona's case.. not only her.. everyone i know.. i really give them my best.
For those who are attached to me, they are my chosen ones actually. I really choose my friends though,I mean my best friends. Maybe i want something beautiful in my life as family and true friends are the most beautiful thing in the world for me. Because i love them. I really love them.
Fiona told me while chatting yesterday,she asked me not to treat her so good..she's in her serious tone. She said she scared that she'll fall in love with me... hehe.. and she said, if i were a man, she'll marry me. haha! I know it's funny, but i really believe that she mean what she said. cuz she showed how appreciative she is to me. This lady, i love her too, i really love her. MAybe she's that type who doesnt know how to plan her financial thingy, but if i stand in her shoes, her money is really not enough.. she had her pocket burnt by Julene.. hehe.. but i'm pretty sure that Julene will do somehting about it, i hv faith in her. To me...She really means what she said .. that's why i believe in her.
Rae will be stop working end of Feb. She's heading to another chapter of life.. that's why i hope she'll end her final paragraph in this chapter nice and beautifully. I hope she wont have any regrets and doubts once she stepped into a new chapter. I want her to start with a new paragraph without referring back to the previous chapter. Of course, i love this girl too. May not show it through the way i talk to her, but deep down, i memang sayang this girl..hehe.. I hope the best for her. Sometimes i really wish to be there everytime when she needs it.. but physically, i cant.. I'm so far from Klang... i can only do it mentally.. hehe. gave her support and advises.. though it's not considered as 'precious' advises, but i really wanna do something. Just that i feel 'sim tia' when i know she has problem. and i'll try my best to pull her out from it. just that... this girl, real degil, wont give up without trying!!! this attitude is good in work-hood but not practical in love-hood, especially when u're clapping ur hand without another hand. I just hope that durian will fall on her head and knock her up... at least she'll be awake from her deep sleep.. haha!! Evil me! hehe.... hope she enjoy her trip to Sunway or wherrever i guess... i think thats why she'll be late tonite...
LIFE will be easy if it's not complicated, rite? Life is to suffer? that's what Fiona told me... know what i replied her? I said: ' everyone is born to suffer, but some just can get through it, how? why? hardwork.... they make the change via hardwork, and i know all of us can overcome it."
then she told me:' I'm suffering.... and i lack of luck." then i told her:' Luck is only 1%, 99% hardwork." she said:' I'm lack of that.." I twisted and tell her back:' why not u think the other way round? u hv the 1% luck, all u need is a little more hardwork to make sure u're at least 50% success?'
i can feel that she feels hopeless yesterday... she asked me:" is it true...? ' course i told her it is. she asked:' will u support me?" i answered:' if i cant do it financially, i will sure support u morally and physically!! u can do it!" then she replied:' I will remember what u taught me...."
she is really thankful to me... then i can feel a little lift in her self esteem. That's the story about her... i wish i could just change everything..
see? there are different ppl in our life. some, they are rich, yet they dunno how to appreciate, some, they are financially unstable, but they really live their life to the fullest... and they appreciate things in life.
Thank god... I'm here to help here... at least lessen her burden by giving her some support... I'm grateful.
honestly, Julene, Rae, n Fiona are the ones i feel glad to hv in life. Words cant really explain how appreciative i am to them.... My life is full of colours with them around.. so, i hope my bonds with them are covalently bonded, and i hope i am an irreversible inhibitor to them, i dont want myself to get detach from them....
Learnt something today, which is " Reject does not mean accept.' hehe.. it's the Ms. Tan who taught us.. she is really full of surprise.. and she told us again today..." to be happy is a choice!' see! well, what can i say about my day? half of my classmates are having labs, as for me? i'll only hv lab tmr.. so now doing my report + writing blog.. damn! i'm wasting my time!
Rae said she'll be late tonite,hehe.. cant wait actually... cuz the last time i've been to the nite mart was last year, october.. see! time really flies and it's going to be February month now.. scary..
This morning... when i was walking to U, I was sort of like evaluating my life now as a student..i'm having less stress compared to last sem, as my MP4 is always with me.. i dunno why, i just suddenly think of it. Oh ya, i was thinking back the things i've said to Rae last Saturday. I told her that i wouldnt speak to anyone like i spoke to her, and i told her that sometimes i feel shock myslef for saying out the words when i am talking to her.. then she told me:' u're lack of fun in U..' then i dont think i replied her.. i wasnt thinking much that day until this morning.. I realized that i can be very warm, and i can be extremely cold. Yes, i lack of fun with my classmates... guess that's why i'm still a loner now... (that's why i can afford to sit in the library alone typing blogs..) haha!
I think i'm unfriendly.. i guess my classmates think i'm not very friendly.. though. Anyway, i still don't really care what ppl think about me.
I'm centralized. I'm not shaky. nothing's gonna change me easily. I guess that's the Taurus characteristic. I'm just me.
I think i need some time ler... i need time to really click with ppl. again, i'm not unfriendly k!! and i'm not that type of shy person!
I can express myself more here, know why? no readers i guess.... hehe..
Some on going things happening to me now... know what? I just cant stop myself from saying the F word sometimes... of course, only when i'm alone.. and when i did something wrong.. dunno why.. I'm crazy! spare me! Thank god, i dont say it in front of ppl.
I was depressed yesterday, so i went online, had a chat with Fiona n Rae. Fiona.. she kept thanking me for helping her... and she said she'll return it to me one day.. know what, i dont really mind about returns! I love to be a giver, of course, u hv to be affordable la. I give, and seldom take. That's me. I guess, indirectly, i show love to my friends gua... When i make friends, i really give out my true self, i mean my true heart. Heart-to-Heart friendship is all i wanted. That's why i can click so well with ppl around me in Klang. cuz we really treat each other whole heartedly.
Same goes to Fiona's case.. not only her.. everyone i know.. i really give them my best.
For those who are attached to me, they are my chosen ones actually. I really choose my friends though,I mean my best friends. Maybe i want something beautiful in my life as family and true friends are the most beautiful thing in the world for me. Because i love them. I really love them.
Fiona told me while chatting yesterday,she asked me not to treat her so good..she's in her serious tone. She said she scared that she'll fall in love with me... hehe.. and she said, if i were a man, she'll marry me. haha! I know it's funny, but i really believe that she mean what she said. cuz she showed how appreciative she is to me. This lady, i love her too, i really love her. MAybe she's that type who doesnt know how to plan her financial thingy, but if i stand in her shoes, her money is really not enough.. she had her pocket burnt by Julene.. hehe.. but i'm pretty sure that Julene will do somehting about it, i hv faith in her. To me...She really means what she said .. that's why i believe in her.
Rae will be stop working end of Feb. She's heading to another chapter of life.. that's why i hope she'll end her final paragraph in this chapter nice and beautifully. I hope she wont have any regrets and doubts once she stepped into a new chapter. I want her to start with a new paragraph without referring back to the previous chapter. Of course, i love this girl too. May not show it through the way i talk to her, but deep down, i memang sayang this girl..hehe.. I hope the best for her. Sometimes i really wish to be there everytime when she needs it.. but physically, i cant.. I'm so far from Klang... i can only do it mentally.. hehe. gave her support and advises.. though it's not considered as 'precious' advises, but i really wanna do something. Just that i feel 'sim tia' when i know she has problem. and i'll try my best to pull her out from it. just that... this girl, real degil, wont give up without trying!!! this attitude is good in work-hood but not practical in love-hood, especially when u're clapping ur hand without another hand. I just hope that durian will fall on her head and knock her up... at least she'll be awake from her deep sleep.. haha!! Evil me! hehe.... hope she enjoy her trip to Sunway or wherrever i guess... i think thats why she'll be late tonite...
LIFE will be easy if it's not complicated, rite? Life is to suffer? that's what Fiona told me... know what i replied her? I said: ' everyone is born to suffer, but some just can get through it, how? why? hardwork.... they make the change via hardwork, and i know all of us can overcome it."
then she told me:' I'm suffering.... and i lack of luck." then i told her:' Luck is only 1%, 99% hardwork." she said:' I'm lack of that.." I twisted and tell her back:' why not u think the other way round? u hv the 1% luck, all u need is a little more hardwork to make sure u're at least 50% success?'
i can feel that she feels hopeless yesterday... she asked me:" is it true...? ' course i told her it is. she asked:' will u support me?" i answered:' if i cant do it financially, i will sure support u morally and physically!! u can do it!" then she replied:' I will remember what u taught me...."
she is really thankful to me... then i can feel a little lift in her self esteem. That's the story about her... i wish i could just change everything..
see? there are different ppl in our life. some, they are rich, yet they dunno how to appreciate, some, they are financially unstable, but they really live their life to the fullest... and they appreciate things in life.
Thank god... I'm here to help here... at least lessen her burden by giving her some support... I'm grateful.
honestly, Julene, Rae, n Fiona are the ones i feel glad to hv in life. Words cant really explain how appreciative i am to them.... My life is full of colours with them around.. so, i hope my bonds with them are covalently bonded, and i hope i am an irreversible inhibitor to them, i dont want myself to get detach from them....
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
To be happy.... it's a choice.
i was down.. few minutes ago... so, i've decided to do somehting that i like, and i'll feel better, which is writing blog and reading the stupiak girl's blog.. mind me, i said 'stupiak'... haha!!!
was having an exam, and i know i did not do so well in it.. well, the most sucking part is, the lecturer discussed the questions after the exam.. damn!! i feel like digging a hole under me and burry my head inside.. gosh! just feel like running away! i was forced to listen... and, damn, i'm going to fail that paper, and i know it very well... what to do? reality is always cruel.. but now, i feel glad.. cuz i get to learn from my stupid mistake... plus, the lecturer, Ms tan, really changed my perception about her.. She, well, cant speak fluent English, but i sensed that she was trying to make us happy just now. Yeah, maybe because i'm sitting at the first row, and my face was like... i just came bck from war.. which i lost in the war.. i guess my facial expression is really tensed up.. and i sensed that she looked at me more than once.. and she askked :' class, u all feeling stress?" no doubt, we all answered " Yes........" then she said :' well, i know u guys have a lot of exam this week, but u all hv to enjoy ur study, u all hv to accept and learn, accept ur mistake and learn from it, and the most important, enjoy urstudy and be happy..." we were like, ok,.. we listened... then she popped out :' u all hv to enjoy ur suffering, cuz through hardship, u become a better person. Exam only 10 marks mah, dont feel so tense about it. be happy, learn and study happily.. u know, to be happy is a choice, u can choose to be happy... now class, can u all choose to be quiet now??? (smiling).. she said that because we were discussing about the 'enjoy ur suffering thingy...' and i really think deep... she is really a happy go lucky lecturer... and her words make me changed the perception about her...
hmm... guess what, i'm feeling better now.. there's a pasar malam here tmr nite, which i'll definitely be going IF it's not raining... haha. just missed the 'chao tau fu'.. haha!! RAe said she'll be coming also woh.... but, i dont expect her to aske me out ler... cuz she's going with her 'frens'... anyway, i still hope she'll ask.. haha!! evil me.. just feel happy to be with her. keke... my father actually wondered, how the hell i can get so close to her ar? when he asked, i said " dunno?' then he asked me " how u know her...?" well, i really thought for a long time, cuz i dunno when i met her.. and forgot when was the first time we talked and hang out also.. see?? i just told my dad that we worked together.. n she's from Raja Lumu.. cuz i lazy wanna talk all those funny funny things happened before.. haha!
Sms-ed Yan when i was having lecture with Ms Tan.. haha.. how can i say? she's my 'water flusher'.. as she is always there to 'flush' things away from me.. haha... i somehow get some strength from her.... i found meaning in what i'm going through from her. She's my teacher,that's what i can say..
Last saturday nite, invited Rae to my house, well, happy? yes... glad that my parents have good perception about her... evil me thinking" hehe... u guys hvn see the DARK SIDE about her ler...." haha!! Ate too much lamb that nite!! POISONED by lamb.. gosh!! I love lamb so damn much!!!! haha!
ME and my brothers, oh ya, when we were back from training, we started to do those stupid things again, in my small car, guess what?? my car mirror almost break.. cuz we all were singing loudLY. or maybe shouting loudly.. gosh, can u imagine the blending of our voice?? haha!!! had a great 'shout' that day!!! it saves my money to KTV.. haha!!
Started to listen to chinese songs these days.. and i've realized that i am so out-dated as i am only attached to English songs.. guess i should pick up and update myself lol!
cant wait for 2mr's pasar malam actually.. hehe... but i dunno what time i should go.. cuz my dinner is at 6, and i'll definitely hv my dinner before i go, well, maybe i'll go and snack there.. cuz a lot of nice food that hv been interviewed by 'HO CHAK' are there... of course, there's a proce to pay.. but it's not so expensive, it's normal KL rate. bear in mind, u can really go POK eating there. haha!
To be happy, is a choice.....
I know patience has it's limits, but if clarification is needed, something should be done.. I hv no patience in it... to see everything in front of me. I've extended, but i guess mine was exploited. Just give some time.
Live happily everyday, this is the word i LEARN BY HARD today....
Wish me luck.
cant wait for everything that will be coming to me tmr.
was having an exam, and i know i did not do so well in it.. well, the most sucking part is, the lecturer discussed the questions after the exam.. damn!! i feel like digging a hole under me and burry my head inside.. gosh! just feel like running away! i was forced to listen... and, damn, i'm going to fail that paper, and i know it very well... what to do? reality is always cruel.. but now, i feel glad.. cuz i get to learn from my stupid mistake... plus, the lecturer, Ms tan, really changed my perception about her.. She, well, cant speak fluent English, but i sensed that she was trying to make us happy just now. Yeah, maybe because i'm sitting at the first row, and my face was like... i just came bck from war.. which i lost in the war.. i guess my facial expression is really tensed up.. and i sensed that she looked at me more than once.. and she askked :' class, u all feeling stress?" no doubt, we all answered " Yes........" then she said :' well, i know u guys have a lot of exam this week, but u all hv to enjoy ur study, u all hv to accept and learn, accept ur mistake and learn from it, and the most important, enjoy urstudy and be happy..." we were like, ok,.. we listened... then she popped out :' u all hv to enjoy ur suffering, cuz through hardship, u become a better person. Exam only 10 marks mah, dont feel so tense about it. be happy, learn and study happily.. u know, to be happy is a choice, u can choose to be happy... now class, can u all choose to be quiet now??? (smiling).. she said that because we were discussing about the 'enjoy ur suffering thingy...' and i really think deep... she is really a happy go lucky lecturer... and her words make me changed the perception about her...
hmm... guess what, i'm feeling better now.. there's a pasar malam here tmr nite, which i'll definitely be going IF it's not raining... haha. just missed the 'chao tau fu'.. haha!! RAe said she'll be coming also woh.... but, i dont expect her to aske me out ler... cuz she's going with her 'frens'... anyway, i still hope she'll ask.. haha!! evil me.. just feel happy to be with her. keke... my father actually wondered, how the hell i can get so close to her ar? when he asked, i said " dunno?' then he asked me " how u know her...?" well, i really thought for a long time, cuz i dunno when i met her.. and forgot when was the first time we talked and hang out also.. see?? i just told my dad that we worked together.. n she's from Raja Lumu.. cuz i lazy wanna talk all those funny funny things happened before.. haha!
Sms-ed Yan when i was having lecture with Ms Tan.. haha.. how can i say? she's my 'water flusher'.. as she is always there to 'flush' things away from me.. haha... i somehow get some strength from her.... i found meaning in what i'm going through from her. She's my teacher,that's what i can say..
Last saturday nite, invited Rae to my house, well, happy? yes... glad that my parents have good perception about her... evil me thinking" hehe... u guys hvn see the DARK SIDE about her ler...." haha!! Ate too much lamb that nite!! POISONED by lamb.. gosh!! I love lamb so damn much!!!! haha!
ME and my brothers, oh ya, when we were back from training, we started to do those stupid things again, in my small car, guess what?? my car mirror almost break.. cuz we all were singing loudLY. or maybe shouting loudly.. gosh, can u imagine the blending of our voice?? haha!!! had a great 'shout' that day!!! it saves my money to KTV.. haha!!
Started to listen to chinese songs these days.. and i've realized that i am so out-dated as i am only attached to English songs.. guess i should pick up and update myself lol!
cant wait for 2mr's pasar malam actually.. hehe... but i dunno what time i should go.. cuz my dinner is at 6, and i'll definitely hv my dinner before i go, well, maybe i'll go and snack there.. cuz a lot of nice food that hv been interviewed by 'HO CHAK' are there... of course, there's a proce to pay.. but it's not so expensive, it's normal KL rate. bear in mind, u can really go POK eating there. haha!
To be happy, is a choice.....
I know patience has it's limits, but if clarification is needed, something should be done.. I hv no patience in it... to see everything in front of me. I've extended, but i guess mine was exploited. Just give some time.
Live happily everyday, this is the word i LEARN BY HARD today....
Wish me luck.
cant wait for everything that will be coming to me tmr.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
me? DEVIL??
sweat... muka tembok betul that girl... haha... menyesal aku tulis dekat situ... nevermind, i will revenge... hehe... wait and see my blog then how will i revenge.. haha!!! that girl, haiz, dunno what to say.. poisoned...
i think i am how she describes me..
'to that girl. sometimes you just refused to accept the truth even though it's real. because you still request for hopes although hopes are not there for you. you will also act like you don't now the truth just to let things go on smoothly. what's done is done. people always say..."
sometimes, the DEVIL, which is me, obviously... refuse to accept the truth.. cuz the DEVIL is hoping for some hope which is not there... hehe.. yeah, kinda sounds like me, eh? it's good to hv hope... even though it's not there. I guess that's the definition of HOPE, right? things that are not there and u really love to get it... if that's not HOPE, what's that then??? haha.... maybe u can call it a lil positive thinking..
DEVIL in disguise... Gosh, she's so poisoned...
My PTPTN loan finally approved, yes, i've got the money... which i gave it to my parents to buy their stuff for CNY.. they're kinda broke, i would say, thaks to the natural disaster that make my car porch ceiling collapse, n thank for the 'good' quality of the paint they used to paint our house... haha!! thank god i hv some 'K's inside my account.. if not, i will be eating grass for the whole CNY.. haha!! (not that bad actually..hehe...)
but things will get better soon...
i just hate my brothers for not considerating my parents condition... that's why i suggest(actually scold them...shameful thing i did in Giant that day...but i really couldnt stand them for searching only branded stuff) I suggest them to buy their own clothes, and pay for themselves, where i shop with my mum and she pays for me.. hehe... no lar, normally i only shop with my mum, my mum loves to shop with me cuz i'll give my opinion on clothes to her.. haha... anyway, i get to 'hasut' my brother to buy a pair of shoes for me, well, cool man!!! we'll be going on the 1st of Feb together... hehe... DEVIL ar?? who cares, that's me... as long as i get my shoes... hehe...
I'm not done shopping yet... at least need to get some outfit which suits mt diamond necklace... haha@!! (gosh, i'm just showing off, i'm not going to wear it though!!!)hehe..
I'm having exam 2mr... anyway, things get better now, i'm still stressed, but not as stressed as the 1st sem, which is a good news for me. (my weight stil lost, gradually, not like last sem, drastically...) haha!! dunno whether it's a good news for me onot... yeah, my mum's damn happy.. that's why she's willing to pay all my CNY expenses... hehe.. but i'm still a good girl, i'll shop again after all mt exams, which will be 1st of feb.. keke...
I'm planning on something, well, dunno whether it works onot... anyway, i hope it works lar...
time is a factor for me.. It's like acting in the movie Rush Hour, but featuring Kuen and the crew.. haha!
Time really flies, it's half of 2nd sem gone... well, i cant wait for the trip this April, but sadly.... The poisoned girl may not be able to go with me... sad.... anyway, i still wish her the best in her coming studies... though sometimes her plans are quite naive if u see it as an outsider...(means u pulled urself out from the situation, see the problem as one of the working community..) For me, i believe that everyone has their needs, if that's what she wanted, i'll support her, just that she has to amke sure she wont regret during her older days.. anyway, she's just a kid, right?? haha!
whatever it may be, life has to be lived also, happy, sad, regret... it's ur life. U conquer, U change, U live, and it must lead u to satisfaction. That's what i see in life...
I just wanna make some changes in my life, i dont want my life to be likfe my parents, not that they do not provide me with what i want, just that i wanna improve, and of course, i want to give them a better life in the future, enough for all those worries for me, it's time for me to give them what i hv.. That's what i wanted to do.. n i HOPE i'll be success...
enough for all grandmother stories, it's a long blog though... that's my style, i love writing, hehe... so u can expect 'articles' in my lappy... which i'll write and compile whenever i feel like writing.. Anyway, it's for my own 'documentation', and a material to laugh on in the future when i open back my 'documents'... trust me, u'll get more mature by looking at how immature u were... haha!
that's all for today.. i'm hungry now.... hehe...
i think i am how she describes me..
'to that girl. sometimes you just refused to accept the truth even though it's real. because you still request for hopes although hopes are not there for you. you will also act like you don't now the truth just to let things go on smoothly. what's done is done. people always say..."
sometimes, the DEVIL, which is me, obviously... refuse to accept the truth.. cuz the DEVIL is hoping for some hope which is not there... hehe.. yeah, kinda sounds like me, eh? it's good to hv hope... even though it's not there. I guess that's the definition of HOPE, right? things that are not there and u really love to get it... if that's not HOPE, what's that then??? haha.... maybe u can call it a lil positive thinking..
DEVIL in disguise... Gosh, she's so poisoned...
My PTPTN loan finally approved, yes, i've got the money... which i gave it to my parents to buy their stuff for CNY.. they're kinda broke, i would say, thaks to the natural disaster that make my car porch ceiling collapse, n thank for the 'good' quality of the paint they used to paint our house... haha!! thank god i hv some 'K's inside my account.. if not, i will be eating grass for the whole CNY.. haha!! (not that bad actually..hehe...)
but things will get better soon...
i just hate my brothers for not considerating my parents condition... that's why i suggest(actually scold them...shameful thing i did in Giant that day...but i really couldnt stand them for searching only branded stuff) I suggest them to buy their own clothes, and pay for themselves, where i shop with my mum and she pays for me.. hehe... no lar, normally i only shop with my mum, my mum loves to shop with me cuz i'll give my opinion on clothes to her.. haha... anyway, i get to 'hasut' my brother to buy a pair of shoes for me, well, cool man!!! we'll be going on the 1st of Feb together... hehe... DEVIL ar?? who cares, that's me... as long as i get my shoes... hehe...
I'm not done shopping yet... at least need to get some outfit which suits mt diamond necklace... haha@!! (gosh, i'm just showing off, i'm not going to wear it though!!!)hehe..
I'm having exam 2mr... anyway, things get better now, i'm still stressed, but not as stressed as the 1st sem, which is a good news for me. (my weight stil lost, gradually, not like last sem, drastically...) haha!! dunno whether it's a good news for me onot... yeah, my mum's damn happy.. that's why she's willing to pay all my CNY expenses... hehe.. but i'm still a good girl, i'll shop again after all mt exams, which will be 1st of feb.. keke...
I'm planning on something, well, dunno whether it works onot... anyway, i hope it works lar...
time is a factor for me.. It's like acting in the movie Rush Hour, but featuring Kuen and the crew.. haha!
Time really flies, it's half of 2nd sem gone... well, i cant wait for the trip this April, but sadly.... The poisoned girl may not be able to go with me... sad.... anyway, i still wish her the best in her coming studies... though sometimes her plans are quite naive if u see it as an outsider...(means u pulled urself out from the situation, see the problem as one of the working community..) For me, i believe that everyone has their needs, if that's what she wanted, i'll support her, just that she has to amke sure she wont regret during her older days.. anyway, she's just a kid, right?? haha!
whatever it may be, life has to be lived also, happy, sad, regret... it's ur life. U conquer, U change, U live, and it must lead u to satisfaction. That's what i see in life...
I just wanna make some changes in my life, i dont want my life to be likfe my parents, not that they do not provide me with what i want, just that i wanna improve, and of course, i want to give them a better life in the future, enough for all those worries for me, it's time for me to give them what i hv.. That's what i wanted to do.. n i HOPE i'll be success...
enough for all grandmother stories, it's a long blog though... that's my style, i love writing, hehe... so u can expect 'articles' in my lappy... which i'll write and compile whenever i feel like writing.. Anyway, it's for my own 'documentation', and a material to laugh on in the future when i open back my 'documents'... trust me, u'll get more mature by looking at how immature u were... haha!
that's all for today.. i'm hungry now.... hehe...
Thursday, January 17, 2008
feelings... just ignore me..
good or bad?
does it matters?
yes, it is..
if only u've tried ur best.
help me uderstand...
things that i dont...
help me understand,
what i know is true..
Feel cheated?
no...
i' just blinded by trust.
feel angry?
no..
i'm just blinded by the Faith.
sad?
no..
i'm blinded by her...
Wish i could share..with other ppl..
wish i could help.... myself for not being ignorant..
can things change?
can faith and trust conquer me once more?
can it be?
i don't know.....
does it matters?
yes, it is..
if only u've tried ur best.
help me uderstand...
things that i dont...
help me understand,
what i know is true..
Feel cheated?
no...
i' just blinded by trust.
feel angry?
no..
i'm just blinded by the Faith.
sad?
no..
i'm blinded by her...
Wish i could share..with other ppl..
wish i could help.... myself for not being ignorant..
can things change?
can faith and trust conquer me once more?
can it be?
i don't know.....
Friday, January 11, 2008
Great? no... it's Marvellous!!
new start? ha, maybe. i'm not switching my blog from friendster to blogspot.. i'm using both... i guess. well, at least i wont be more careful when i'm writing here, i can write anything i want.. haha.
Guess what, i've won myself a diamond necklace lately.. it costs about 21K!! imagine that!! gosh.. i was very blur when i get to know tht i've won that necklace,which my mum dreams of.. ha! i am still very blurr now.. it's like.." what's happening ar?" gosh.. pinch me.. i hv feelings, and it is true. i really dunno what to do with the necklace, wear it? no, i'll get my neck chopped. Throw it? nah! impossible!! give it away? my mum will be crying.. haha!! keep it? maybe.. as my mum said, keep it as my my gift of being married.. haha! i still cant believe it.. watching the diamond necklace... gosh!! damn!!
I am still in cheras now, just created this blog.. n i've read Rae's blog.. who's she? she's my... well, how can i describe her? a person i care, more than friends, something like my sister, but it's not acually.. well, family member? well, i dunno.. cuz the feeling of being with her is so different. It's different than with Fiona or anyone.. Guess that's why we can click so well.. we hv endless story... anyway, i still owe her a fried ice-cream meal.. dunno when to belanja her.. maybe during my long sem break.. haha!!!
i was telling kavitha that i'm going to China this May, i may go to Spore before the China trip.. well, kavitha asked me to bring Rae along.. well, ok, if kavitha didnt asked, i am about to ask her along also, provided her passport still can be used.. ha! ya, kavitha told me about her break-out at life care.. At that moment, i realized that things are getting really tough for her, can i help? no, i can only give my preciuos advise. This girl,love her!!! hehe.. she's smart enough to get advises from everybody. Anyway, it's good to get opinions from those older than u. It helps a lot.
I really hope that she'll be happy everyday.. she's like me. happy or not happy.. the face is always happy.. and i dont like ppl to know me well except my family.. haha.. guess i'm a weirdo.
it's 2nd sem now, i'm alone in the library...(poor thing, can only online in the library with my lappy).. and i hate carrying my heavy lappy from my condo to UCSI!). Guess what, u wouldnt believe it, i'm still a loner here. Not attached to any groups, not attached to any friends. It's so NOT ME! cuz i love relationships.. especially friendships. I guess, when my coursemates talk about 'KUEN', their reaction is :" who's that?" "oh! the one ar... ok ok.. i always can fnd her in the library." guess that's my so called IDENTITY now.
Bear in mind, it's not that i dont wanna mk friends, it's that.. u cant find anyone that can really click as we all come from different background. Hey, I am friendly, k??!!!
unless u can find me a group like ALO, or ppl like Rae, or ppl like my old friends! haha... which is impossible.. cuz if there's other ppl who has the same character as Rae or others, die lar.... my weight gain(due to supper), my mental blocked(due to their sampat-ness)... haha! joking only lar.. ha!
k lar, better crack my head for the comm skill question, haiz... hv to write it, cuz i dont wanna write it this weekend as i'll be occupied... fully occupied this weekend, cant even go to work this sunday... haiz.. sad...
~DeLLyNn~
Guess what, i've won myself a diamond necklace lately.. it costs about 21K!! imagine that!! gosh.. i was very blur when i get to know tht i've won that necklace,which my mum dreams of.. ha! i am still very blurr now.. it's like.." what's happening ar?" gosh.. pinch me.. i hv feelings, and it is true. i really dunno what to do with the necklace, wear it? no, i'll get my neck chopped. Throw it? nah! impossible!! give it away? my mum will be crying.. haha!! keep it? maybe.. as my mum said, keep it as my my gift of being married.. haha! i still cant believe it.. watching the diamond necklace... gosh!! damn!!
I am still in cheras now, just created this blog.. n i've read Rae's blog.. who's she? she's my... well, how can i describe her? a person i care, more than friends, something like my sister, but it's not acually.. well, family member? well, i dunno.. cuz the feeling of being with her is so different. It's different than with Fiona or anyone.. Guess that's why we can click so well.. we hv endless story... anyway, i still owe her a fried ice-cream meal.. dunno when to belanja her.. maybe during my long sem break.. haha!!!
i was telling kavitha that i'm going to China this May, i may go to Spore before the China trip.. well, kavitha asked me to bring Rae along.. well, ok, if kavitha didnt asked, i am about to ask her along also, provided her passport still can be used.. ha! ya, kavitha told me about her break-out at life care.. At that moment, i realized that things are getting really tough for her, can i help? no, i can only give my preciuos advise. This girl,love her!!! hehe.. she's smart enough to get advises from everybody. Anyway, it's good to get opinions from those older than u. It helps a lot.
I really hope that she'll be happy everyday.. she's like me. happy or not happy.. the face is always happy.. and i dont like ppl to know me well except my family.. haha.. guess i'm a weirdo.
it's 2nd sem now, i'm alone in the library...(poor thing, can only online in the library with my lappy).. and i hate carrying my heavy lappy from my condo to UCSI!). Guess what, u wouldnt believe it, i'm still a loner here. Not attached to any groups, not attached to any friends. It's so NOT ME! cuz i love relationships.. especially friendships. I guess, when my coursemates talk about 'KUEN', their reaction is :" who's that?" "oh! the one ar... ok ok.. i always can fnd her in the library." guess that's my so called IDENTITY now.
Bear in mind, it's not that i dont wanna mk friends, it's that.. u cant find anyone that can really click as we all come from different background. Hey, I am friendly, k??!!!
unless u can find me a group like ALO, or ppl like Rae, or ppl like my old friends! haha... which is impossible.. cuz if there's other ppl who has the same character as Rae or others, die lar.... my weight gain(due to supper), my mental blocked(due to their sampat-ness)... haha! joking only lar.. ha!
k lar, better crack my head for the comm skill question, haiz... hv to write it, cuz i dont wanna write it this weekend as i'll be occupied... fully occupied this weekend, cant even go to work this sunday... haiz.. sad...
~DeLLyNn~
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