Lunch-at-the-counter.

I miss lunch, I miss lunching with people.

Anyhow, I think the reason that i am transported to KKMB is clearly shown. Besides fated to be alone. God definitely wants me to learn something here.

Plus, why me and Ganesh got deported? Haha, the good reason behind is left for u to think.

Mode: sleepy, lunch just died and I prefer sleeping. Phobia as well, but going strong. Longing for accompany, and acceptance. 

Found a new mode to release emotions, my Yuki. Like I said, she is the most faithful companion ever. 

I have always feel that I am here, fighting alone, with Him. 

'I am always there...'

What does this means?

Can't I just deserve a bit of time? Pumpkin knows how to do this well. I really appreciate that she knows how to put me into her time. But, it took us time to feel so comfortable with each other.

I miss her, and I am always there for her when she needs me. So does she. Seriously, when I first emt her, I dunno this relationship is gonna progress till this stage. 

Mum called and glad that her health is okay.^^ now, left my grandfather, next month.^^

God, continue to less my family abundantly!^^

Now, my current stress is finding a place to stay. Housemates are hard to find, and houses are hard to find, it seems like god is wanting me to wait for his timing as well, just like how I got to know I got klinik kesihatan instead of hospital setting. 

So, I can only wait, and look around. By end of this month, still no answer, then....I dunno what to do, what to expect d.

God knows what I am thinking, how I feel. 

Maybe He needs to teach me how to hand,e things and trust Him at the same time, 

My heart is aching la, thinking about me and sister. How in the world things can turn out this way!? It's all my fault. And... I feel like I'm being tossed away, I'm a person of action, but too bad, not all show action. I just need to expand ,y frequency to MEASAT I think. 

I need a break...from feeling this way.

Sometimes I wish to just disappear, don't care about anything. But I just can't, it's too irresponsible.

I can't run away, because I think God has a lesson to teach me here, that's why I am still in Tawau. And I can't seem to learn it.

I can't wait for 13/12/13. I'm running away to KK that weekend. 

Argh.

I'm scattered, see the things that I write, it's every where.

Anxious, anticipation, these wont add one more hour to my life, so..why feel so. Right?

God's words, I will hang on to it.

CG tonight. God, I need a support group who can feed me spiritually. 

Amen.

Such a beautiful view from my counter...;)