I am happy.;)
So, I did realized that I didn't ask sister about her day, because. Was too overwhelmed telling my progress.. And when I wanted to ask, she starts to sway away from the conversation. So... I didn't get to ask. It doesn't mean that I am not concern, but she shows me that she is still interested in knowing about my day.... And still wants to participate in my life.
I guess she is worried as well that our frequency will change, yeah.. Different working place and I don't get to spend time with her d. She practically have more time on her work and him, well.. Not sure if its a good thing, but knowing the fact that she WILL be together with andrew someday just made me feel...*faint*
Anyway, none of my business and concern. I can only trust her... And have faith in her.
Oh... No doubt, I still love her the way she is. I'm not sure how would things turn out in future months to come. Guess, 3 of us now are separated indirectly. Maybe it's a good thing. Me and Ganesh feel a bit sick of hospital, sister still comfortable in comfort zone. Good for her, cuz she dislike changes and don't think she can take up KK responsibility. ;)
So, 3 of us are just living at the same house. I think this relationship is good... Means I will be forced to build my life around other things. Yes, kuen is still learning to let go. I need to find the suitable distance.
It's like when I wanna spend time with her, it's always the wrong timing. She will go out for dinner la, then when she comes back, she is tired d... And not much time to talk.
I sort of have phobia to ask Someone out for dinner.. Because its like a 'rejection' everytime. Sigh... Coincidence la. cuz most of the time when i ask for dinner, its because i got things to tell, to share. well, like i bombed Shereen Ag before, when the right moment is gone, means its gone. hahah!a bit not fair for them but... my walls needs time to be broken as well after one rejection. It's ok la. Get on with life. I gotto accept this. Things will not be the same ... Not totally changed, but not the same.:)
Anyway, it's just my one sided thinking la.
In real, I won't act this way. As long as sister is comfortable with what she does. ;) I will always support her !;)
Just that feel a bit stupid sometimes because priority is not there. Anyhow, I think I take things the wrong way. That's why I am keeping myself occupied.
Oh! I started to learn worship songs with my Yuki! Feel so good, but I need practices!
Just wanna share something ..
When I reach KK Merotai, I was kinda stunt when I entered. Because its all wooden building.
And... I saw trees, quarters, and kampung around the KK... And... I recognize the place. It has been in my vision all these while.
I knew, it's the place.
Knowing that God will guide me through this. I was so surprised to see the environment! T_T
Though I cried out to god asked why am I sent here...
So, when I see the surrounding, it's like a mimic to my vision, I am relieved... Because i Know this is where He wants me to be.^^
I'm happy today, because sister is so...cute! Keep on yawning, and ask me about my day. Honestly, if no one asked,I wouldn't tell anying about KK Merotai. And... I was too busy answering her question and didn't asked and update about her. Sigh....
Plus, she has been exhausted for the past few days. Can see it through her face. That's why....
But I still hope that she would tell me about herself at her own initiative...^^
She has improved. Or maybe she s comfortable with me d?
Fingers crossed, things will be better.
Finally understand how does rejection feels. Not good. But gotto buckle up my ass and walk on.
New job scope for me. It's like a period of transformation. I am ready for this growth, and changes.
Relieved. I have left htwu.
Happy, I'm starting a new life.
Glad, cuz sister tries to keep me at her pace...though I might seem like giving up. I am thankful that she haven't give up on me yet...hehe.
God has been wonderful with me, us, and in every aspect in life.
Lord, I just wanna glorify Your name in whatever I do.
Lastly, I just pray that Lord will be the centre of this bondage of me, sister, and Ganesh. U will be there for us all the time, and heal all scars that is in our hearts towards each other. I pray that lord you will make them victorious in their work place as well, knowing that You are always there to guide them. pray that you will bless sister with energy and wisdom and ability to guide new prp, grant her with an attitude of never giving up...because there is always rainbow after rain, and there is always gold no matter how long, and how far she digs.
Pray for Ganesh that he would be sent to where You want him to be. Bless him with positive attitude towards life... And never think negatively. Guide him along the way so that he won't go astray. Show him the right way when he is off track, and teach him the way to be a better person who honors You.
As for me....I will serve You lord. Lead me to where You want me to be!;) I will run for You!^^
Jeremiah 29:11
Amen.
Well, even shereen thinks I sounded happy in my new place. Hahaha.
I do,^^ because this experience is invaluable, not all will get this opportunity to handle KK.
Share something cool.
Let me introduce.... YUKI! My Ukulele! My new girl who lights up my down moments! And she will be my faithful companion!^^ Yuki!!! I'm getting better with it.;)
Decided to bought this, not out of impulse but through advice. Called joshua for it, and.... Poof! Here it is! Yuki!!!^^ though it doesn't tally my vision, I am still learning and improvise!;)
Lord, I pray that I will be given the intelligence and wisdom to learn and play Yuki fluently and deliver Your Grace to the people who listens!!^^ Yuki shall be the tool to deliver Your grace, and Your anointing!!!
Good night people!^^
No comments:
Post a Comment