i'm sad..

Dumb onion is sleepy now..

went for bfast with Princess FiFi this morning.. (that's what Chee Lim called her) haha!! i wanted to meet her... that's why... then we chatted like... crazy. we talked about anything.. ha! about her future plans la, about next week's meeting la... about Kenji la...
haha!!
too bad la... stupiak girl gor exam, so i did not ask her out. :0

She is fine i guess. she was very drunk yesterday... haha!! it was a family party of hers.. so, she was really drunk.. till she dunno what is she talking about in the sms. yup, i msged her yesterday night. haha!!

I'm... i dunno la.. what happened to me. I'm crazy.. things fogged around me.. haha!!
why?

Fifi has her own problem... and her own plan..
Little J has her own problem too... and i was very sad.. i empathized her.. i really do. i am very heartbroken when she almost cried in front of me.. that was the first time she has tears in her eyes, cuz she is strong.. always..

i felt very weird when she suddenly sms me and asked me when will i be back to klang...
then she told me that she is very upset and mad... and ask me not to ask why.. so.. i just listen to her.. though i dunno why..
i sent her some words of comfort.. giving her the strength to face everything.. and to let her know that i am always by her side to support her. i offered her myself so that she has someone to talk to... !! she said she'd already talked to her mum and sis....

but today, when i meet her... she told me..all of a sudden... of course, i am entitled to keep everything to myself..
i really feel heartbroken.. and i can imagine my ownself in her shoes..
my heart was aching to hear about it...
really....

till now... when i thought of what happened to her... i am heartbroken.. i wanna talk to someone.. but i couldnt say this out. so... i planned to tell my parents.. cuz they are one of the persons that can give relevant ideas.
i am very very sad for little J.

after talking to me.. she told me that she felt relieve... and thanked me for listening..

honestly.. that was the first time i really felt important to her. cuz...
she did not ask others when they will be back to klang... but she asked me.
she did not tell any outsiders except for me..
she trusts me...a lot.

so do i...
that's why...

the bad thing is...
i can only listen... without helping her.. i cant help her, i admit. i cant do anything.. cuz it's not proper for me to dip my legs into her prob...

haiz....

the image of her tears filling up her eyes are still projecting in my mind...
and it flicks the feeling of heartache in me.

i dont think i will voice this out to anyone..
i just need someone to sit beside me...
just sit....
be with me....

anyway.... i hope everything will be fine 2mr.

====================================================================

went to Jusco just now...
i went there...for.... haiz...

i volunteered myself out cuz i need to be alone for a while. that's all. cuz i was still thinking of little J. so....
i just wanted to talk,involve in conversation and forget about it..
but.... i went there alone.

this was the first time i stuck my earphone in my ear, tune to the loudest... and walk like nothing happened.
my goodness.
i settled my things in a fast manner, then come back home...so that i wont bump into any friends..cuz i wasnt in the mood to talk.. not even smile.


but...unfortunately.. i bumped into Pn Kan. so..had a little chat with her. :-)
then... i continue to walk to my desired place lo.

quite a fast job i did... then i head back home. (this wasnt my plan actually, i dont wanna go home so early de... but... no choice..)

i am crazy.. at the very moment, i feel like making myself drunk... but... the inavailability cancels my thought. thank god... if not, i am going to hurt myself again... ;-$
bad huh? dumb onion is really dumb today.

anyhow...
i reached home with a smile.
dad was setting up Karaoke... mum was sitting in the living room. after settled everything... both of them sang happily..

i fought for the mic....
but... regret-nya.... why?
they are singing OLD CHINESE SONGS!!!! my gosh..
i just follow the lyrics and sing along..

duh... singing oldies do makes me better.... hehe...

yup...

i feel better now.
i'm just a little worried about little J.. she is my old friend, so... i am a little worried..

k la... dun wanna think of anything d...

i know... with the absence of my bro... i cant be going anywhere now.. not even movies... cuz i feel tht it's my responsibility to be with my parents lo...tht's why, it's hard for me to mk trip to visit little J...

yeah,in fact, i had a great time singing with both of my mum n dad... though it is super old oldies..

sleepy...sleepy....
k la....
wanna sleep d.. my eyes are dry...


adios..
buenos noche...

i hope everyone around me will be happy always. :-)
chiao.