Open yours, open mine.

I guess my life is full of Rae these few days.. since that day i was back from Cheras..

'That day... I should've met her' after hearing all the stories from her.. why? why am i so stupid? anyway, can i say she's being protective? (if that'll surpress my feeling of guiltiness).. Anyway, everything's back to normal now... Which i am glad. What's past is passed. The most important is:She's still in one piece.

I think i've been insane lately, anything i do, anything i see, my first thought was Her. "kuen, are u insane??" well, i cant answer that question also.. The feeling.. i cant describe it. It's like, maybe i can say that i'm very happy when i'm with Her... and somehow, she knows what am i thinking. Will it be another chance for me now....? to open my heart once again?


I've sealed it long long time ago...Thanks to Cass, who cheated me somehow..
My weakness... i still treat the fella good after that incident.. know what? cuz i believe, true friends can only born by treating another whole heartedly. That's what i believe. Call me naive, i dont care.. some said i am being too good.. too kind.. it makes them feel guilty... (i dunno le, i realized that i hv the ability to make ppl feel guilty..haha!)

When u get ur heart sealed, U wont get hurt easily by those who hurt u before. I still treat them whole heartedly, with my heart sealed. I don't cheat them, though they've cheated me before.. just that, sorry la, if u wanna know a singlle thing about me, my everything, sorry la. I wont expose or give my heart out once more.
The interesting part is, those who cheated me or betrayed me, they still tell me their problems, they still share everything with me. see? I dunno what lkind of ability i hv? SPARE ME! I'm cruel, rite?

tht's why, i wonder... is it a chance to open up my heart completely? COMPLETELY?? I think i've open up a little by little.. I'm surprised.. that i'm doing that.. cuz i've forgotten the feeling of open heart. I've forgotten the feelings of telling my things to anyone.. I've really forgotten... (i feel even more sour now.. stupid me, playing Jay's song,'RAINBOW"... gosh..)



Well, I'm not comparing the way that i treat ppl and the return that i've got from them, cuz i dont hope for returns. Thank u, and i dont hope for it. As long as the person whom i've treated whole heartedly will remember me for the rest of their life, that's all. I'm satisfied. Maybe i'm that type of person who values memories and love more than material. I like to give, without taking. and i dont really take..

Well, i somehow changed a little since i met Rae, Fiona and Julene. I've started to learn how to 'receive' which i dont really know quite well. Maybe becuz of my attitude, and of course, parent's influenced. My world was so naive... till the extend that i thought everyone i know is very kind, very true.. somehow, i was betrayed by this attitude. My thought was wrong.. I grow on this by hard.. Yet, i still believe that i should treat ppl good.
After meeting them, i really 'received' a lot from them. feelings are undescribable. but it really feels good to be with them.
Anyway, my life now is shadowed by..... I'm not poisoned, i'm not covered by smog bomb.. I'm overwhelmed.. happy, glad..


Sometimes i really wonder, will my situation now remain? will everything remain in the future? I sometime had this stupid thought that WE will not live as what we're living now if SHE's not in the status she's having now. rite? i guess that's why i appreciate. It's kinda sad to think about it. cuz things will really changed if her status changed. It will be completely different..(my heart feels sour now..) somehow, the 'pureness' will fade...Am i afraid? I dunno...maybe yes. again, it has happened to me once.. I'm phobia, i just dont like the feeling. The feeling is not the same anymore as the 'pureness' is not there eventhough either party pretended that everything is as the same before the status changed. That's why, live the day to the fullest as u dont know what will happen tomorrow.
At least i can keep the 'pureness' deep down in my heart before it became 'impure'...

Just came bck from JJBT, sent some medication to Rae, this girl... haiz... haha@ Padan muka, sick d!!! Hope she'll get well soon.. cuz i'm planning to tk her for lunch 2mr afternoon le...

will shop again later!!! yay!! it's shopping spree!!!! I think i'm the shopaholic among my family.. i buy the most, i spent the lessest! ha! smart me@ yes, always! hehe.. think will be going to Damansara terminal 3 later, it's cheap!! cheap!!! very cheap!!! gosh, i was gone crazy shoppin there yesteday nite!


LOVE THE LOVE U LOVE.

what's all the love, love thingy..? For me, it's a meaningful sentence as it applies to any love u can name. haha!

Muacks! a Kiss for myself. ( cuz this kiss was rejected by Her few minutes ago...)hahahahaha!!!


Live happily, enjoy CNY.. Forget about Valentine. I know, things will be fine... please believe in that..