The light.

There are things that better be avoided, better not to feel it, and better not to think about it.

Makes life more comfortable and less burden....,,,

Follow the light? Yes, serve with joy and peace.

Who's the light? We are the light and salt.

God is the way.

Thursday, time flies.

For You are God.

Surrendering to You. 

Sunset with her is just....awesome. 

I can't wait for more, with her.

Touch and go

In the end of he tawau days, I m still longing for god's voice to maneuver me.

I have no words to describe but to say..."Tawau is a nice place"

I have grown a lot, seen a lot. 

But, am I ready to move on??

I guess she is my only reason to stay.

To let go is a skill that one needs to learn and go through phase of life to acquire it.

And let go is not an easy act. 

God, what is your will in me? 

With all these that has happened, I just wanna be more sensitive to You. Yes, You....

Help me to find peace in you no matter what u decide.

(;

Love

so, Love from above is the greatest.

I am just blessed with all the heart to heart session that i had, with her, and with Him.



"I'll be by your side, wherever you fall in the dead of night, whenever you call and please don't fight, these hands that are holding you..... my hands are holding you...."

thank you for singing this to me.


God, you are awesome. =)

for Him.

 

Something has been stirring within me,

Holy Spirit dancing, which is enlightening.

The love of God is so overwhelming,

washed our sins by Sending His only Son to die for you and me.

 

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything submit yourself to Him” He said to me,

Obedience to His words is the key.

As long as we pray, He will listen,

The answer is always descend.

 

Faith is what He planted in my life,

Obeying every single command that He summoned.

Hunger for His love, guidance, and, words,

1 Corinthians13:4–8 says it all, yes, this is the verse.

 

Jumping in joy, praising in awe,

Humming hymns, and singing a love song.

A love so great that no one can replace,

His love is so great and it never degrades.

Sabah bah, anu… Tawau!

 

Life in sabah.

I arrive in KK (Kota Kinabalu) on 19th october.

looking back, its already been a month. Yes, I left with a teary night the day before.

but I come with a strong heart, a strong faith, and a strong desperation to fulfill God’s will. Totally open heart, no more reluctancy. =)

Well, never regretted my choice to Sabah.

No one knows my story to sabah huh?

Alright, let me share my story.

 

well, all the while I know I wont stay in Peninsula. I wanted a change of environment. but I had always imagined myself working in peninsula’s hospital. =)

Ever since the compulsory service was 1+3, I had always wanted to work far.

Mmm… I took a year gap to work in Singapore, that is why you see me mingling around with those younger than me. but, my mind is mature. haha.

 

When I was about to fill in the SPA application form, owh well.. as usual, human always doubted their choice. I doubted.

God has already told me that Sabah is the place for me.

That day, I was in dilemma… it was during study break, and I reconsidered my choice. So, I prayed to God. I prayed, and prayed, and prayed. –> No answer.

the next day.. I prayed and prayed and prayed. –> still no answer.

For the whole week I have been praying… –> no answer.

SO! that night, I was meeting up Jessie who was coming to pick me up from IMU for dinner. I still rmbered, I prayed again in Angkasa condo while waiting for her. I shouted to God, PLEASE GRANt ME A PLACe WHERE I CAN CHALLENGE MYSELF, SERVE tHE COMMUNITY THERE, AND LIVE A HAPPY LIFE, as WELL AS A CHANGE OF ENVIRONMENT THAT I WILL LOVE! that time, I was harsh, I shouted to God, Yelled to Him. I sort of forced Him to give me any indications, signs, or words, vision to me because I WAS GONNA GO FOR THE INTERVIEW AND FILL IN MY CHOICES!

 

Miraculously…..

 

the next day. This indian came. owh ya, he is my current housemate, GAnesh the siss---ie. hahaha!

I have never spoken to him since forever cuz we are busy and we were in different clerkship and pbl group. argh. That day, I dunno what knocked his head, he suddenly came and sat beside me and said wanna have sister talk. so, he told me….

“Kuen, I dunno la… about posting. but I wanna go sabah, to serve the people there, to live a new life, be happy, and a change of environment….  but I doubted… I am scared.. what if I am being sent to pedalaman? ulu area where I need to kayuh sampan there?”

You know what was my reaction…? I praise the Lord.. cuz GOD ANSWERED MY PRAYERS THROUGH GANESH!

 

owh gosh….

I told Ganesh..

“you know what? I think I will definitely go sabah. God sent you to speak to me today. and I will go sabah. so, lets go together lah!”  (we don’t speak “bah” like how we speak now because we dunno how to use bah that time.")

 

In the end, I have decided to put Sabah as my first choice. =)

 

Life after final exam. I was so… reluctant. knowing that I have only a few months left in peninsula, I really lived my days to the fullest! every week is an exciting week for me! =)

I received my first letter on a weekday. Second letter on a saturday somewhere in july. Third letter on a weekday (delayed) in LC pharmacy somewhere around 12th october.

I lagi reluctant to leave, when the posting shows…

“anda ditempatkan di Sabah”

T_T

 

WALAO… God’s will.

 

So, my last week in peninsula was… horrible. I cried almost every night. I was so reluctant to leave but I am glad I got my first choice.

I spent my last week mostly with my friends. Almost every night I have farewell dinner, farewell lunch. busy with packing summore.

I spent my week with all my loves. I was so reluctant to leave them. Rachel, Daniel, Fifi, Sher, Linda, TIm, Chee Liang, my church mates, my CG mates, Yin Yin, Por Vin, etc etc etc!

The very last night, it was Thursday night, 18 october. An emotional night.

HAd a farewell with almost all of my CG mates. I was so so so touched by them. collected a bunch of gifts, and gifts, blessings, prayers.

owh, that day I insisted to fetch Shereen from home. just me and her alone. She actually rejected so many times and insist that she wants another one to follow along. She is scared that she will cry. So, the week before the farewell, we didn’t talk at all. and I guess she was practically trying to accept and be happy that I got sabah. She assured me that… she wont cry on the last day.

 

So, I sent her back after the dinner. we talked. I received lots of calls, ,messages, that made me cry.

we talked in the car. it was raining heavily outside. She passed me the gift and tells me lots of words of blessing and wisdom.

I couldn’t hold back my tear. I forgot how and why we hugged each other,but it just happened. How can I not give the warmest hug to someone who is so important in my life? I love her like my own biological sister, practically takes care of her.. (did i?) haha.

When I hugged her, She cried.

still remembered clearly that she said “Gosh, you are making me cry…”

we hugged each other and cry. Because, I am so reluctant to leave… I will miss her a lot.. a lot… a lot….

 

And my parents…. I think my dad kinda unhappy because I have farewell almost every night before I leave. haha.  but… he understands. Well, I have lots of good friends. ^^

 

So, I came to Sabah. Arrived on 19. CAme to Tawau on 20th.

The most important person during this process is Alice. Without her, things wouldn’t have progressed well. I guess God sends me angel almost everytime when I need help. Alice… Thanks!

It is true that in Tawau, everyone knows everyone. =)

 

When I came, I stayed in Jee Yang’s house, a friend a.k.a senior of mine. Together with his girl friend, Ling Wei. So, they are practically our “parents'” there. haha. They took care of us well and make sure we are well fed. =)

First weekend, I almost died of heat stroke. Anyhow, I get to meet great friends from CAlvary Church. Carmen, my colleague a.k.a my cell member introduced me to her cell group. =)

I had my first meal with friends in tawau on that fine Sunday. =) I met great people.

 

Mmm.. back to the question on how do we get to stay in a comfortable place?

IT was like that. I was so frustrated back in peninsula before I went to Tawau. A place to live. YES! I don’t have a place to live.

so, I googled about place to live, nearest to hospital and I got Kuhara Court.  I told Ganesh about it and he went and look for an agent for units available. He managed to get one after a few phone calls.

He and his parents looked at the unit. Guarded area, with pool, gym… and its near to hospital. fully furnished.

there were a few more choices, a datuk’s house, corner lot. big, very big, and like a mansion. haha.

So, on the weekend we arrived, we looked at our choice of houses. After consideration, we all agreed to get the unit in Kuhara Court instead even though the price is abit high. To us, as long as we find a unit where we are comfortable with and feels like home.

After settled the deposit and all, we moved in on Monday night after work. Thanks to JY and LW again for helping us shift our stuff.

so, me, HC, and Ganesh moved in as a family. =)

 

Guess how God worked in helping me find this place?

everyone was surprised that we can find a place in kuhara court as it is a “hot spot” where everyone is looking for. Some waited for years just to find a unit in this place. Well, I don’t know how we got it but we just did. Praise the Lord!

Next, the most important thing to me is to find a church to plant myself in.

First weekend, I went to Calvary church.

Second week, I went to Anglican Church, I was shocked. I will spare the details because I am from a charismatic background, and English background.

In calvary, everything is bilingual.

Anglican, service is in English, but I was shocked by the culture there. Met aunty Angela and Uncle Federick. They are awesome people.

but I felt that ANglican church is….. not for me cuz I don’t feel comfortable. I think things will be different if I grow in Anglican Church, but I am not.

So, third week, I went back to Calvary. It was awesome.

There is still an unfinished mission in me, to fine HC a church where she felt belonged. MEthodist church.

Praise the Lord, she found her church on the 4th week itself. =) I am so happy for her. =)

 

As for me, I always had this calling when I first accepted Christ. The vision of leading Praise and Worship session in church. haha.. maybe it was just my imagination.

but….. I was asked to join P/W ministry while I was in FGA but I didn’t wanna commit cuz I know I am leaving KL soon.

 

God has been faithful to me always, HE kept the chance for me. He kept this opportunity for me.

The 3rd week I am in Tawau, I am being recruited into P/W team in Calvary Church. Praise the Lord. Seriously… God saved a chance for me to serve Him. Now I am praying that my talent will grow.

God has never forgotten why He sent me to Sabah, Yes, missions. I got missions to accomplished and Visions has been given by HIM. I am still praying that Lord will open up doors for me to fulfill His will! I will do His will, surrender all to Him, I just need Him to command me in His timing. =)

 

I have been blessed abundantly in Tawau. Everything falls into place and I feel peace when I knw I get Tawau instead of other places.

I am happy here. very happy. =)

 

I can’t be writing all miracles that God has done in my life in Tawau because its too much. =) too many… haha. Every single day, God is always there in my life, good or bad.

Its so overwhelming to know that God has been working so tremendously in my life. ^^

 

Another aspect is, my parents. Praise The Lord that He sent me to Sabah. For a reason..  definitely! and one thing I found is… my relationship with my parents became closer. =) very much closer.

I guess God will take care of the residues that I left when He commands me to GO. He has everything well planned for me over here. I am not worries, and I am not afraid. ^^

I am here to do greater things, in this city. yes, Greater things.  Still have the vision in my mind and I was told to go step by step.

I am sure God is preparing me for something greater. Now, I find it reasonable why I was persecuted as the only Christian in my family, and why I have to go through all that has happened.  God has indeed planted strong faith in me. Through what that has happened, He sent me here with strong and growing faith. God, You are awesome! God wants me to be a living testimony to those beside me. Take care of them and care for them. God is answering my prayers on loving people unconditionally.

I am not sure why He puts me in the P/W team. Well, the purpose will be revealed later on. Definitely. =)

 

Till now, God has placed me in the midst of great people. Colleagues, friends. I got really blessed by this. I think God wants me to do something great and that’s why He placed me with nice people, so that I wont get in trouble while fulfilling His mission in me. =)

 

Sabah has been treating me great because God has been doing so. =)

Linda.

 

Good day to all.

 

My testimony was a long time ago one. yea, I am still a new baby in it though.

There is a thing that I wanna share.

I always name it as “The biggest Miracle in my life.”

Along the way, not only my friend from Singapore, Chean and Shereen + gang influenced my life. but there is another girl whom God has called me to her, guide her and bring her up and lift her up in a Godly way.

She is none others than Linda Goh, my Mei Cheang. =)

Lets do some history about me and her. Bear with me ya. haha.

It was dated back in the year of 2006, the year where we first met. It was form 6.

we were in the same class, then we went to the same tuition together.

and from there, we became closer. but, still just like normal friends, hi and bye.

then in upper 6, I dunno how and somehow we got close in upper 6, forming a group call ALO group. (Ah Lian organisation). this group exists for a reason! consist for 6 members and its growing. 6 of them are so… KAMPUNG that they never try those stuff that kampung people try/eat/play. yeah, in short, they are Ah Lian in the City. hahaha!

So, back to Linda. So, I can say that I have known her since…. a very long time ago.

 

our relationship became closer after we skype together.

ok, the skype story. I started skype-ing with Chean back in Singapore when I first accepted Christ as she wants to grow together with me in Christ. She is a great sister of mine. =)

Chean and Linda were close to. Because we are Ah Lians. =) haha.

So, Chean noticed that there are lots of stress and problems with Linda, and start talking to her and talk to her about our Lord, Jesus. I still rmber Chean told her about prayers.. saying that.. “ You can start praying by starting with Dear Heavenly father…. then continue with your request and prayers, and end with Amen”

so, she tried. I mean, Linda tried.

 

We are still having skype session when Linda is interested to know about the Lord.

So, this goes on.

 

one day, I was having finals and my day&night totally became haywire. I sleep in the morning, study in the night. and I can practically sleep anytime I want.

So, this fine day, I was having dinner after studying, with my parents. I was blur.. they didn’t want to disturb my studies as they will have bible study on skype in the morning 9am, and 7am is the time I get my sleep almost daily when I am having exam.

That night, chean texted me… and say..

“PTL! Linda has accepted Christ on skype and I am so touched!!!!” Its God’s work and praise the Lord!”

 

The message was longer and I couldn’t remember it, I just remembered I teared after seeing the message. God indeed is an awesome God!

So, we continue our bible study more frequently…. until when Chean graduated from NUS and she was caught up with work. She is still busy with work now though. hardly talk to her but we still keep each other in thoughts.

 

How I get Linda out of her shell?

 

after my final exam in my final year final sem, I got this calling and mission from God. God wants me to bring Linda one step further from where she was. Yes, to make her independent and a servant. I told God, “yes, I will obey You and I am going to do that”

So, I started by taking Linda with me to Church. Each person gets a different message everytime from church. I brought her there so that she can know more about Christ and know His work, and to understand the Bible better.

I kept my persistency.

and I get to introduce her again to my bestie, Shereen. Shereen is always a supportive and blood vomitting friend/sista/dear of mine. She is never old/mature to me. =)

Linda seemed to adapt well in my circle of friends. So, the group slowly grow as time goes.

Every weekend activity, I gradually included Linda in, so that she can find something, or someone to hang on to when I am gone to sabah. yes, knowing that I have to come to Sabah, and I have limited TIME back in Peninsula, I am glad that God has worked through me to Linda.

 

I still remember one day, when we were in church service. Linda suddenly turned to me and say.. “Kuen, I can speak in tongues d!!”  She cried! I shouted to God with Joy!!!!! Its definitely a big step for her and a big breakthrough for her! I am so proud of her and I am always proud of her!!!!

Weeks after weeks, we became closer.. as close as a sister can be, and we shared about almost everything. I shared my testimony with her, how sHereen brought me up in CHrist, and how she showered and watered the seed of christ that has planted in me long ago.

 

This is what we do while we were on our way home from church along the long, never-ending, expensive Kesas highway. =)

 

Before I got my posting, I told Linda.

“hey, do you know that God actually gave me a mission after my finals, to bring you up and to grow with you? and to get you a cluster of friends and be independent to go to church…?”

She said.. “Kuen, you knw what? I have been praying about the same thing!!! God sent you to me!!! =)”

wow… how wonderful God’s work is right?

SHe prayed, and God sent me.

I wouldn’t know this if I didn’t share with her about God’s mission for me. seriously, I praise the Lord!

 

Every single week, God has been doing miracles on our lives. Including her!

 

Another testimony for Linda.

 

One day, SHe msged me on fb, saying that she is very despair with her family condition. (by the way, her family isnt as whole as it is, but she is the one holding on to it).

I read the fb msg and I felt heartbroken. Immediately, I start praying in Spirit.

Miraculously, I started typing prophecy on her. It was as if like God is speaking through my fingers you knw.  Holy spirit practically filled me in that night!

The one thing that I remembered clearly what I said to her was.. “Cheang, you are going to the the master of the family and you are going to lead the family! and reunite them and bring them back together in cHrist name.”

 

Week after week, on and off, she will have family issues, but I keep encouraging her, to start bringing mum to the church this and that.

True enough, God’s miracle is always a miracle eventhough it’s a small miracle. =)

She went to this Taiping mission trip with our CG. She was blessed by Ps. Bernard. Ps. Bernard gave her another prophecy…

“You will find a right guy in the future and u will be ready for a relationship. You will be the leader of the family and unite them again.”

 

mind me, Ps. Bernard doesn’t know about her condition (I think) before prophecy was given.

God spoke again through Ps. Bernard to her!!!

 

By the way, Linda has some medical complication which strikes her confidence down in getting into a relationship. I brought her to M4J in faith, for the healing service. yes, FAITH! and Phillip Mantofa is just awesome!!! (now I cant wait to meet him in SUrabaya next year JAnuary).

 

About mentari tuition. why Linda got so involved.

mmm…. I started to invite her when Tim fails to invite her everytime. I told Linda, “ its ok if u don’t want, or not ready yet. no obligation. but no harm trying at the same time” =)

I think this sentence of mine made her ponder quite some time. Yes, I have been blessed with the kids and I share with her everytime after teaching the kids.

one day, she told me suddenly she wants to go mentari. That was after a few months after I start serving in Mentari. So, she shared why she decided to start.

She asked God.. “how do I get more blessings from You God????”

God answered her question… “Serve, serving heart.”

 

Obedience rocks ya! haha. She started to attend Mentari and She loves it! and AUnty Prema opened up her eyes I think. =) as well as the kids! they are a bunch of cute kids whom I love them so much!

 

so, up to this date. Linda is an independent girl, who goes to church, and have a bunch of supportive church friends.

I was happy to see all these happening, and a few weeks before I leave, God spoke to me..

“enough, your job is done here… its time for you to leave for Greater things.”

Believe me or not, months before I leave, God always give me the indication about Sabah, and ask me to GO, be obedient, and everything will turn out just fine. yes, God has been assuring me for MONTHS! because I doubted my choice of following His Will. I was reluctant to go.

Varsity camp and YA camp spoke a lot to me about GO and serving Him. I knew God is preparing me, and I am getting ready to Go.

Even on the last SUnday service I went with Shereen, I didn’t speak much because I tend to cry, Prayers was about KAdazan, iban SABAH! owh my gosh….. Even god assures me to GO on my very last weekend in KL. haha.

True enough, on my very last weekend, I didn’t hang out with my gang. instead, I went back to my parents. They tak sampai hati la.

SO, I heard, Linda cried suddenly and broke down all of a sudden. She misses me.

 

I couldn’t bear to see her also… because I will cry as well. Tears is the sign language for love towards the other.

I was told by her that I leave impacts in lives and I just leave like that!~ huhuhuhu….

I seriously dunno what kind of impact I have left in lives, but she said if more than one person says so, u better believe it. God knows. =)

 

For now, I am so glad that Linda has grown so much in Christ and she is able to lead her mum and family member to church! and she started to love, and care for the family and trying to be the glu that patch all of them up together.

God, I proclaim your words on her that you will guide her and BLESS HER in all ways!

 

Sometimes I do think that I am weaker than Linda.. haha. I look tough but inside of me, I am very fragile. lol.  Anyway, There are so much more that I wanna tell about Linda but its just too much, more than words can say. =)

I love her so so so much that words could even explain. I am glad that we got closer each day.

even now I am far away, my prayers are always with her and she is always in my thoughts. =)