Beautiful Sunday encounter.

it’s a beautiful sunday. Let me just write what I feel.. for those who need some  motivation, yeah. its for u.

Honestly, I still wake up from stress every single day ever since 16november. I was relieved that it was over, but I couldn't accept the fact that I did screw up one of the paper. That’s the paper which I sat, and I don’t feel victorious at all. I don’t have confidence when I stepped out from the hall.

I was and desperate for God’s miracle, and I know He hears my cry and my prayers. I try not to lean on my understanding and yet, those bad visions just come into my mind, and I got a bad feeling.

I never stopped my desperate prayers though. Like I said, I think God will really laugh at my prayers, but I proclaim His words. “Seek, and you shall find, ask and you shall receive”

 

Today, while I was on my way to FGA, Got a ooomph for Hillsongs, so I tuned into my pendrive.

I got a message from Him through them, Hillsongs. of all songs, I started paying attention to God’s words. yeah.. God is able. and this is the song that was playing and I had a deep thought on the voices I heard while I was singing this song with my Spirit. I started to feel peace. HE spoke.

 

some preface about what happened… : during my finals period, there were a few songs that worked in my life, yeap, my exam life. “Stronger”, “amazing grace”.  God spoke to me everytime I hear these songs, that is why my youtube playlist is full of Gospel.

 

So, He spoke to me in the car. I really got peace.

then,I reached FGA. =)  as the worship session starts, as usual.. He is always in the house, and in the atmosphere. 

Guess what? The worship team started singing “God is able”. My heart was so overwhelmed. A voice came to my head, “I hear you, I’m with you eventhough you can’t see me”. yes, these came to my mind.

I was really really overwhelmed. gave thanks to Him and I got His message.

*deep in me.. there’s not coincidence, only power of God.*

So, the power of the song reigns over me… I feel so touch because God is so intact in my heart. He always tells me about his presence through songs. I always wonder, maybe this is the way for me communicate with Him besides prayers. and this is the way He talks to me too..

 

The next song.. oh my God.. I slain immediately right after the worship lead singer started singing “Stronger”. The first thing I said “God, You are awesome.. Thank You for assuring that You are always with me.”

This time, the encounter was different, as I sing praise.. memories flashes into my head, all about how close He was in me during exam period, and He is still with me.. NOW. I am still overwhelmed by His love while I am typing this post. I can’t wait to share God’s love to the readers, yeah.. I really hope I can give hope through my post, to those who are sad, deprived from love.. and I want them to knw, When people hate you for certain reason, God loves you with no reason.

I was really overwhelmed while I was giving praise. No one could understand my feeling, because everyone has a different encounter.

you knw, everytime when I listen to “stronger” while I was studying, it touches my heart and gives me courage to move on, and its sort of like a God’s shield for me. I feel safe and protected through songs, because He always speaks to me through it.

My heart was so peaceful and all I wanna do is glorify Him, because.. this week its different compared to the FGA sessions that I had previous weeks. Previous weeks, He showed me his presence through another song… which appeared (means sung by the worship team) 3 weeks in a row! (and yeah, that was the song that touches me before the first week where the worship team sang).

This week.. He gave me visions of the exams, saying that He was there for me, and He is still here for me. Never left, and He knows what I’m going through. Sort of a peaceful message ask me do not be anxious, because He is stronger.

 

Now next.. My heart bursts out in tears when the worship team started singing “Amazing Grace”.

Tears of joy filled my eyes, and my heart.

God, you are awesome! He showed me this week and reassured me that He is listening to me and he’s been always there. I’m so touched by His unending love. really really touched.

 

Praise God.

 

I wanna be victorious and Lord, You hear me. I will never stop my desperate prayers and I know that you hear me Lord.

 

Today, it’s the starting of a victorious week. I knw.. I’m gonna leave everything to Him. “If we succeed, praise Him, If we fail, Praise Him”

 

God has an adventurous plan for all of us.

 

Praise god.

 

 

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I have always love to talk to Aunt Carol, si fatt’s mum. Probably she’s a young mum with a liberal opinion, and she’s a liberal mum too. not to say my mum is not good, and hello!! my mum is my bestest mum on earth! haha…

Aunt Carol always give positive energy to people.. and today, She transferred her positive energy to me. haha.. as she always does. =)

She made me think hard. and I knw, if I’ve decided to do something, nothing will stop me if its God’s will.

So, I think I have to think hard on it, gotto plan well. Because its my life, my future.

I don’t mind giving up my career for something exciting, and something better. Of course, it is better if we have somebody to share it with. (not partner, but someone..) hehe.

Am I ready to accept the fact that I have to start from scratch? I guess I should’ve got myself a Business degree instead of a Rph degree.  *wink* nah, too late. I’m at the end of the studying path, and at the start of my life now.

2 years, will I be able to earn enuf to survive for at least 6 months?

God, complete the puzzles in my mind. Once completed, Let Your will be done.

 

and.. si fatt once told me when we were waiting for our bus in AT.. She told me that I am overly independent.

“Overly” is a strong word, because I only consider myself as “Too independent”. not “overly” haha.

I guess, that is one of my good points, and it can be a fatal weakness huh?

owh, what she told me that day still got me thinking till now.

Sometimes, I really enjoy my life as YFS (young, free, single), sometimes I also hope to have someone to share my everything.. haha, I got too much love to give! haha.

I don’t mind giving it a shot. yeah.. if someone special appeared, that can change my life.

 

=)

 

I know that wherever I go, I can make it, I can survive. All I need is just adaptation. yeah… Charles DArwin theory of NAtural Selection.

Chinese (most) are survivals. Its in their blood. agree? so does Indians, because they are marginalized. That’s why they keen to survive and we can’t blame them for their ego. They are striving hard to get a reputation in the society.

I really don’t wanna be a slave for money. But thinking back, wherever I work, I’m still a slave for $$, depends on how I manage my mind. =)

There are too many things to consider, especially when u’re older, and when commitments come.

 

I plan to give myself 10 years.. but can I really survive that long out of the box? There’s a will, there’s a way?

 

Sometimes, I really doubt my choice in working in Sg last year. because.. it showed me how small Malaysia is, and how unorganized Malaysia is. This thinking got amplified by the Aussie’s experience. I love Malaysia, but politics seem to made it dirty.

 

Owh well.. back to me, my plan.

I ask for guidance from my Lord, Guide me through God, for you knw what’s best for me, and all of us.

 

In His name, we say…. A.M.E.N.