late post... early too?

had great chats with my bro... haha!! too bad.. he's very sleepy.. haha!

Ok.. i am pathetic.. haha!! yeah.. maybe i make her Friday, Saturday, and Sunday miserable.. haha! so? I’m thick skinned!! So??? hahaha!!! oh! i really though Rae hated the smell of hop beer... hahahaha!!! i love the smell ler.. ha!

Like i said... before everything changes..

Sometimes i really feel sad to think that everything will change one day. Anyway, one should put his/her own happiness as first priority. Right?

Like i always do. I may be selfish for putting my own happiness as first priority, but... i guess.. other than this, what else can i do? Tell me, what else? Cuz i dunno.....

The future may be.... like.. ok, no more bfast on Sundays.. no more supper on Fridays and Saturdays.. one has to think on behalf on other’s feelings, right?

Anyway, we cant say a person is being selfish if he/her put his/her happiness as the priority. I mean, it should be that way. definitely.

Sadness? Haha... forget about it.. it will cure. It will take some time, but it will cure. So, sad? Just let it be lo... cuz i’ve been through many things. Many broken hearts, many kinds of sadness, kinds of stress.. so, it will be ‘kacang putih’ for me, i guess.

That’s why.. the DEADLIEST weakness... treatin everyone whole heartedly.. maybe i should be a little nasty.. ha! But i couldn’t. If u ask me to play a fool with someone’s feeling, i don’t.. i don’t dare.. cuz i believe, everyone deserves to be loved. No one deserved to be left out from this wonderful world. Right?

So, will i be sad? Er... i dunno. I cant even answer myself now. Cuz i know, things will change. But i dunno when and how it will be. Just try not to imagine, cuz... haiz.. why make myself scared for things that don’t guarantee it’ll be happening????? Right? For me, when a day comes, just live the day happily lo..

Listening to songs now.. from my phone. Hehe.. “because u lived” from jesse McCartney. I love this song suddenly, dunno why... “because u live and breath, because u make me believe in myself, when no body else can help.....” haha.. the melody not bad le. It’s an old song la.. haha! just like it.

Well, future? It’s uncertain... very uncertain. So, what for worrying for uncertain things? I think, live life and day to the fullest... that’s all i can do now...

Anyway, it’s really scary to think that things will not be the same when u wake up the next morning....

Maybe u’ll say, even things changed, u’ll still be the same old brand new u.. but i don’t really believe in that. Based on deardear’s case, i don’t think so... haha! it’s another sad yet happy story.. ha!

I dunno why am i always involve in these things.. haiz.. but good also la. It indirectly builds up my mental stamina. I may be fragile inside my heart, but my mental stamina... hehe... i hv some standard de le... haha! I’m tough in thinking.

Maybe my father was right, i am hasty.. i dunno what i want. Haha! but honestly, u know what i want? I wanna make something out of my life.. i dun wan to end myself working with other ppl, hv a normal lifestyle, live like normal ppl. I want something different. I still cant tell what exactly is that.. as i’m still waiting for suitable time.. and suitable ppl to appear in my life.

Seahley was right.. i cant hv any relationships now... (horrible).. so, haha... glad to be single and not available again!! Haha! I’ll listen to her... and follow her predictions on me.. (it really happens....gosh..)

So, i still sayang her la, whatever happens. As i said, i don’t mind if she abandon me or throw me somewhere in the Mediterranean sea, i still saying her le. How can i not sayang a stupiak person like her?>?? haha... “this innocence is brilliant,....” ok.. stop.kakakaka!!

Changes in life.. it means u’re growing. U’re entering into another chapter of ur life. So, it’s a good thing for me. As ppl need to grow, right? I’ve changed a lot since i started studying. I think i became more mature, and know how to decide my own path.(dad, i know what i want ler..:-)) Ok, i’m quite mature, i admit. That’s why, My relationship is more to the older ppl... haha. i’m closer to those aunties le.. ha!

The same thing goes to the stupiak girl, she still need to grow, right? Though she’s always a child in her mother’s eyes...(so do i!!! K!!)haha! just that... now i really understand how a mother feels when her little girl is growing older and older. U really need to learn how to let her go bit by bit... yeah, though it’s heart aching.. but little girl still needs to grow. I’ve finally understand it. Cuz i’m very protective, like a mother... DUH!!! Yeah, i was told tht i always act like a mother. Ha! So?? I sounded old! Cannot ar? Ha!

So... conclusion is... learn to let go bit by bit... u cant let go straight away, right? So, learn it bit by bit... Mothers.. they are so great. Really... they brought us to this world.. yet, they still need to let us go.. to face this world, to grow, to get married and being called “ppl’s wife”.. of course we’ll always love our mothers, but... changes are changes... right? It is still changes. Time? It cannot be rewinded.... I guess, that’s why Mothers got worry of their daughters so much.... haha!

Gosh... I feel like i’m decades older now... haha!

Whatever it may be... hehe... let it be. My dad told me this when we were on the way back from cheras. Whatever it is, as long as u put ur best step forward, no regrets.