What happened to me??

losing my grip...
sometimes i feel that. I'm damn scared of changes. I'm really scared... real scared..
I dunno what's my feeling... happy...glad...tired...sad... heaty.. that's what Rae said today. I'm heaty. ha! Since when!!!??! well, maybe not heaty la.. I'm tired. but i'm happy too... I love weekends. i don't care how many hours i slept, how black is my eyes bags.. I still enjoy my weekends.

I just dont wanna stress myself up la.. I want my weekend to be memorable, which is enough to feed my hungry soul for one week.. I miss klang so much when i'm bck in Cheras.(Damn, thanks to Sue who promised to visit me haha!! wish her luck!!!) I dunno why, even i've been there for almost 1 year in few months time, i still miss klang, and everyone...

I think i'm quite emo today ler...

maybe she affected me. I'm sorry that i didnt go and find her after coming back from popular inJJBT just now.. I'm really sorry..
I was tired and i feel tired for everything. I know whatever i say, she'll has her own thinking.. i've done my part, i've told her not to... have i given up? i dunno... i think i'm not and i dont want to. just that i dont know why i acted like that today.. haiz... I'm really abnormal today.
I guess this is the day i hv the most 'drafts' in my phone today..my saved message will be full someday..haha! yeah, i hv the 'norm' to write in my draft whatever i feel like writing and whenever i am. Drafts were meant for unsent or uncompleted message..
mine is... haha... i used draft as my "forever unsent ' msg..

I suck today. and i feel suckie.. yucks.

the more u hoped, the higher the disappointed level....
I hope i'm not losing my grip..
let's see in a few days..
as i said, i dont hope..

cuz things that i've expected to happen, it will not happen usually..
if it happens...haha... miracle.!!!

end 'o' my emo story.. ha!

Rae told me that she'll not buy any dress from Blook again wor... haha.. she said cuz i've already bought her a dress from Blook, so she only wants one.
know what, the English grammar looks and sounds easy, but i dont understand lo... haha!! too deep d..haha...
does it means that i can only buy her dress from Blook ar???haha!! sweatnya... I really dont understand lo... and i really found that my English literacy level real low lo.. ha! cuz i dont understand ler... hehe..

Hope that Rae will know what she wants... either to feed her soul? or to free her soul... (not die la.. i know without soul, a person will die lar.. damn love her ler, how can she die??? haha@!) of course, i dont want her to die la.. sot! at the same time, dont want her to get hurt also... what to do??? Xiao peng you ar? very fragile de... haha!!! honestly, i'm scared that she'll get hurt deeply... cuz i know.. when u're hurt, it takes time to heal. and when it heals, the scar is there, and it takes centuries to heal...

of course, me myself is scared of broken heart also.... sadly, my incident is not once, but thrice!!!! 3 times of hearbroken events.... and i really dunno tk howe long to heal... and i know i took a very long time.. and the scar is here with me,...forever. will it fade? maybe... Guess, the scare will fade, but it will not cure.

i'm getting scared.... about the horoscope i sent her before during CNY. haha... no point being scared la.. Life goes on. If she's happy, i'm happy too! hehe... that's for sure!

I've been taught to tk ppl's happiness as my own, and cherish it...
i did it...


I'm going back....
i'll miss everything again....