I'm a psycho today.

special day?

i dunno....
i cant wait for this day to be over .... so that i can put a full stop for everything.
I'm more worry about her ler...
My mind was saturated.. cant even remember a single word Ms Priya and Dr Thet was saying just now.. Screw me!
Save her please...!

Anyway, I hope today will be as normal as the other days..
it's just valentine's, right?

When things that we cannot avoid, of course, we have to face it by hard.
Whether we stumble or we fall after the decision is made.

What the hell am i writing huh?
i dunno ler..
know what, my heart feels miserable..
feelings are jumbling in me.
happy, excited, worry, calm... all the Sh*t..
and it doesnt feel right..
plus my stupid blocknose, and i feel like sneezing now..

Ig-no-re m-e..
there's something wrong with my brain today.... definitely.
I laugh to myself, well, not laugh actually, i smile to myself quite a lot today..
am i psycho?
ignore me..

and now, i think a lot...
sometimes i ask myself, why do i hv to think all the possibilities? which hvn been confirmed whether it will happen onot?
my history : what i expected will not happen normally.
except this friday, which is 2mr... i expected myself to go alone, but miracle happens. and i was and am damn happy..
see, my feelings, really juggling in me..
psycho...
feel like asking someone to hit me on my cerebrum and make me unconscious.
haiz...

I cant wait to say goodbye to today actually.
though i know things will be different after this.... for her.
well, at least..... i still keep something memorable in me if the 'something' really happened.
leave it to fate.
but honestly, i do not hope that the 'turning point' will be today..
in case u dont understand, well , just leave it.
simply means : status depends on today.

i understand the feeling of dilemma, which u dunno which to choose while both are important to u..
i've chosen mine..
how about u?
no doubt, it needs sacrification.. but what to do? things that needed to be done.. it has to be done no mater what.
avoiding is not the solution.
we'all just hv to be strong to face it...
and the feeeling... it does not feel good...
it reminds me of what i've been going through last december..sad..

Guess i'll just tk betafed to sleep later...
cant stand the juggling emotions in me..
just hope that evrything will be fine after i open my eyes.
just wanna numb myself for the time being..

valentine's this year... too bad i cant spend it with my family and friends.
anyway, i guess i hv to use to this situation.

I try to be as annoying as possible in this blog..
well, my nails turned blue.. gosh.. what happened?
i think i'm malnutrition.. whatever...

end' o story..

wanna share this song ... by Shayne ward. I've listened to this song quite a long time and i took a few attempt to love this melody.. cuz it sounds weird when u first listen to it...
i think it contains the msg i wanted to convey to her after sms-ing her last night...
here, let me present...

You're not alone by Shayne Ward

She's getting out of bed
At half past ten
She starts to comb her hair
Just an ordinary day
She looks at her reflection
Off the wall
Why do I care at all
Just an ordinary day
An ordinary day
That's hurting you
Don't hide out inside yourself
If you only let the sunshine on you

I promise you
You're not alone
When the lights go out at night
When you're feeling lost inside
You're not alone
You're not alone
When your world is falling down
I will be the one around
You're not alone
You're not alone

She's waiting for the bus it's 12:59
She's sitting on her own
Just an ordinary day
She's looking at the people
Passing her by
It could be you and I
They would never dream
Of slowing down
To see if she's alright
Don't hide out inside yourself
If you only let the sunshine on you

I promise you
You're not alone
When the lights go out at night
When you're feeling lost inside
You're not alone
You're not alone
When your world is falling down
I will be the one around
You're not alone
I'm hurting
She's hurting
I'm hurting, she's hurting
I'm so alone
When the lights go out at night
When you're feeling lost inside
You're not alone
I will be the one around



love this song suddenly... and the melody isnt so bad at all.
I'm more to the meaning...i mean the meaning of the lyrics.
and i only keep this song in muh phone....

Whatever happens, when all the world turn against u.. when u hv nothing to hold on, when u feel helpless, whenu feel like drowning..
I'm always there... to pull u up.
for sure..

can't wait.... for everything.

:-)