just.. breath..

ok, I’m breathing now….

What a busy week. I feel like writing now. I just came back from JIVE class, again.. I’m in love with it even more when weeks passed by. =)

I’m feeling blur.. cuz i somehow dun really get that. haha! anyway, i don’t doubt if it’s directed to me.

Beginning of this week, which was this Monday, I was nearly suffocated by stress. As days passed by, i realized that nothing cannot be completed if we do it step by step, and chillax.

so now, I resume my blogging routine, cuz i cannot stand one day without writing and updating my blog post. Is this call blog-diction? haha.

It’s mid of semester now, and MArch is coming in a few days time. Besides welcoming it with quizzes, i have the habit of doing flashbacks every week or once every 2 weeks.

I will sit and close my eyes, think, see and visualize what has happened and what i want, so to say, my objectives and goals in this period of time.

Often, I listen to my inner self. Often, i get confused.. and often, i don’t like the “i want everything” spirit in me. Somehow, it makes me feel that i’m fighting against myself.

Today, I’ve realized once again that I am not good at anything. No, i did not lose my confidence.. It’s just a flash of mind that i’m feeling so. i wanna learn how to be humble, I think I’m being too egoistic at times. I wanna learn to be good, cuz i am stubborn most of the times.

After the flashback, I’m just a human full of sin. I do admit that i am good at certain things, but what’s the purpose of having some talent yet i still sin and make the people around me suffer?

aha… I’m not emo, not to worry. =)

I just feel that my future is very uncertain.. cuz i long for too many things in life, and i seriously dunno where to start.

My past just made me feel that I’ve wasted lots of time and somehow it makes me doubt on the road that i’ve chosen.

Well, later, i come to realize that what i’m having now is a blessing. For now, i feel blessed. but everyone will have a moment of thinking and doubting what we have now.. we tend to think “what if… then….” ?

I know it myself that i shouldnt think that way. Just that somehow i really wish that I am different from what i am and what i have now. =)

 

I am proud of myself.. honestly. There is no one like me in this world i suppose?

 

Life is just full of uncertainties. Maybe i should just walk slower, and enjoy every scene of mine more than what i have done before.

My pace is too fast and i hyperventilate, trying to catch up my breath and it makes me feel stressed.

Now, i will just enjoy whatever that is passing infront of me slowly. I will appreciate and enjoy things that come by.

 

relax, and breath from ur heart.

can u feel the sweetness of the air?

P.S : a shoulder to lean on.. tht’s what i need now.