The war in between…

i’m sorry….

i’m sorry to put u in this situation.. i dun mean it….

 

the choice is yours…either one you choose, I’m okay.. but make sure no regrets..

I’m pretty sure that no matter what you choose, you wont regret…

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I’ve thought lots just now.. while studying.. putting myself in DeEr’s position. If i were the ME which i was a few years back, i might choose commitments…

but the ME now, i’ll definitely choose relationships, fun and frens. Cuz i came to realize that work is never-ending, commitments are never-ending. Money is very important, but.. how much can you get? again earning money is never ending.

I confess, i admit.. I have monthly income, but i start to feel sick of commitments.. Maybe because i’ve been in it for too long. So, for the Kuen now, Love is still my first choice. what’s more treasure-able compared to bonds? I dunno… I keep searching for the answer. Hoping that one day, within this month, i get the answer and meaning to carry on.

yeah, u can imagine how sick i am. I’m till tht extend that i dun wanna pass by or even touch or even talk about it.

because, i came to realization in all of a sudden tht… Money cannot buy Bonds.. and i kinda regret of missing all my family outings on weekends.

okay, this is the decision i will make.. i mean, for the KUEN tht i am now.

If i am still the old Kuen last year, who is eager for commitments, responsible, and FULLY committed, of course, i will choose commitments.

because commitments are commitments. Its a responsibility.

 

so, For the Kuen NOW, i come to realize again, no matter how committed you are, what you get in the end is just heart breaks and LOST OF FAMILY TRIP and TIME!

thank God my family is very understanding.

BAck to THe Old Kuen Last year, I will reject any outing that will interfere with my SAturday and Sunday’s job. Cuz i thought i was sooooo into it. No doubt, at tht very moment i really enjoyed…

For the KUEN now…

what i value?

• Love
• Bonds
• Happiness
• my heart.. this is the most important. I go against it for many years d.. for once, i wanna listen to my heart. Just for once… i wanna Follow the way my heart leads, follow the sound of my heart.

Yeah, this is my choice If i’m in her shoe.

P.S : it doesnt mean that i am influencing you to make your decision.. I am just analyzing from my point of view.. cuz it reminds me of ME.. for now, i dun wanna miss a chance to love my heart, and make it happy. Cherish my heart, and cheer it up… which i’ve forgotten how to do it for years already.

 

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I dun wanna fake what i dun feel anymore… =) I guess my Finals has given me a great timeframe to think about me, myself and i. At least, I’ve figured out that i am HURT by responsibilities....

To certain ppl, they might think.. “owh, come on, it’s just life’s UPS and DoWNS.. face it!!”

To me : “ yeah, It’s a down period for me, I need a break to make it UP, happy?”

 

I treasure things better… Commitments and Love, it is always a war between them. Seriously… it’s never-ending. I’m taking a break from Commitments, trying to ease the WAr between them in me.

Can you see how wounded my heart is? It’s because of all these…

For this time in my life, i really feel stupid for what i’ve done. Give up on Love for anything else in this world.

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To those who loves Emo, dun waste your life. Life is only once, besides PRAYING HARD for it, ENJOY it. =)

THought of Jenwin.=) I miss his smile…… cuz he used to made me happy with his smile.. and his smile is all i long for when i see him =)haha!!

Be true, be yourself… owh, u can do better than that! =)

 

*Time for Powders, suppositories..etc etc… *

Live as you wish your kids would.