to leave or not to leave?

I seriously dunno what is wrong with Malaysia’s KAstam.

argh… I just don’t like the idea that my stocks are being held at the port and its not moving here!

Had a hearty chat just now at 3 monkeys café.

well, it made me feel so old, and mature. yeah, I have an old soul.

I have been working since August. I am very much adapted to this kind of working lifestyle because I am used to it. Well, ignore the ups and downs in workplace, because there are always dissatisfaction between human and it depends on how you face it.

life.

I am currently happy with my job, but I feel that there are things that I have to voice out soon when I got my third letter.

 

Days has been wonderful ever since 12th May. When I flash back, it seems like a dream.

I was thinking and flashing back. and I had this thought, “yes, I am ready to leave.”

yeap, leave to a new journey, a new life which I chose.

 

Some wise woman told me “Life goes on, we are still moving on.”

yeah, couples got together, friends got attached, some broke up, some moving on.

flashing back on all the incidents and activities that I had. I came to a conclusion that I shall leave, this month would be the last month I am staying here. I shall leave to search for a new breakthrough.

Feeling kinda emo the whole night. I think I am that type of person that will hide and runaway from those around me so that I can get and find a suitable mindset to face the current situations around me.

This is because, I am always too emotionally attached to the things I do and to those people around me.

It is not a good thing….most of the time.

Its hard to get detached though.

 

These few weeks, I feel insecure. Constantly I feel that I am losing something important in my life. Jealousy invades, and I start to have the mindset to shut myself down, and close myself in a cocoon where I can hibernate till I am ready to soar, and rise beautifully. Well, I might take longer than the actual duration of metamorphosis.

Everytime when I feel this way, God saved me. and He is still saving me now. staying with Me all time assuring me on uncertainty and rebuke my sucky feelings which I can’t even explain too.

 

Moral of the story: keep everything at the right distant. at arm’s length if possible. If u got emotionally attached, you will really have a tough time to detach yourself from it.

 

I am starting to read a new book. Thanks to my kind friend who dives me in the world of reading again. The only book that I flip before this was bible, and some financial books.

At least, reading diverts my mind and I can have a “me time” besides “us time”.

 

*touching my heart* what am I feeling? I feel that what I am feeling is just so wrong.

 

Can I just push myself away….? from all of them who is around me?