jaded!

Mixed feelings today.

I feel happy and miserable at the same time.

Miserable because I couldn’t make it to FIFI’s wedding.

HAppy cuz… I get to rest today and meet my family up!

 

I felt very very sorry these few days.

Firstly… to myself.

I start to lose the faith in what I’m doing. Every step I do, its fear. Yes, Action does cure fear.. sigh.. all I’m gonna do is to throw all the mirrors in me down.

Secondly, to my cousies.

My boy in UTAR PJ is doing extremely bad. Gonna drop out soon after his finals.

My gal in JB has this massive attitude problem which she hides it very well.

Yeap, I knw.. not my problem.. but they are my family. 

 

Thirdly, to Pumpkin.

her words meant a lot to me. When she says she’s disappointed, means she is.

YEah, its my fault. =( seriously, purely my fault.

Fourthly,to FIFI..

though she said she can forgive, she wont forget. I am so dead.

 

Fifthly, to myself again…

I did some “bad” things. I hacked, I steal…. and I shut down.

HAcked into my gal’s email, FB, and I steal the pswd, and I shut it down… permanently. I have no choice but to do that. FB is a killer tool to her… long story, can I not type? if u wanna knw, ask me face to face then! to me, her story is a horror story.

 

then my job…

Its giving me more stress than ever. BEcause I keep a “time bomb” beside me, and its mentally torturous to be aware of when the “Time Bomb” is gonna burst. MENTALLY TORTUROUS AND I MEAN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’M GOING CRAZEE!!!!!!!!

and I mean it…. once again!

plus the upcoming-next-PMS… I reckon that my pillow is gonna be wet by tears for the next 2 weeks.

 

can you understand my feeling?

 

I try to keep all these behind my head…. somehow, I need time.

 

Sometimes, I think that life is just so meaningless… especially when you are tied down by work and you have no time to enjoy AT ALL.

Okay, I don’t wanna pass down any negative energy to you guys. Rmber me as a cheerful, confident, optimistic girl.

 

Will I forget how to smile?

 

 

Gah, I’m so tired. I’m gonna sleep till I’m satisfied tonight! wake up later 2mr morning! I don’t give a damn if I’m late to work!